Shit Happens

Since Tuesday, I have been feeling pain in my chest area. Mainly on the right side of my chest. Sometimes I am quite sure that I picked it up and sometimes I am quite sure that it is my own. But since I am feeling the pain, it is already in my space hence my responsibility to resolve it.

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I tried all ways... self reflecting and many a times tempted to just point my finger out onto a scapegoat, but then that would just be too easy.. too easy for me to 'relief' the pain temporarily and then harder for me to clean the shit of what my mind is projecting out.

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I surrendered this afternoon this pain to the Holy Spirit and told my Higher Self to take care of it. After that, I just felt peace. Later in the evening, it was revealed to me where the pain came from. It was from all over the place and it was somehow not mine. I was just experiencing oneness with others; which Hari had explained to me about. I don't know how to go about it helping others or myself; so I just merely did the Forgiveness process and surrendered it back to the Holy Spirit again - aspiring that whose ever painbody it was - God, you deal with it.

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Yes, it happens. And a conversation with Tuck Loon this morning confirmed that there is something that is happening around us which brings up the fear and painbody in most people for an opportunity to heal, to be awakened; or to go down deeper into the rabbit hole.

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So yeah.. shit happens; and for good reasons. You'd always have choices of how you want to deal with it -self reflect and face it head on; surrender it to God; or continue the blaming game.

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Blessed be.

My Mother's Day Flowers

Got this at about approximately 4ish today after mahjong with the girls. From hubby... *love-love*

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Just in case you were wondering why the lilies are closed. I requested for them to be closed the last time I received a bouquet of lilies so that I could watch them grow myself. Told Jess the last time (which was months ago) that I really don't mind that they came in buds as long as they lasted longer in my care. Lovely Jess bundled the flowers so efficiently this time that all I had to do was untie the ribbon, remove the pink wrapper, pull out the plastic and cotton beneath and put them straight in a vase with water.

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Please see below...

I know. The buds are still closed. And just so you know, they are surrounded by Barbados (don't know if I got the spelling right) and carnations.

I expect the lilies will bloom beautifully in the next few days. The best part is, I will be able to watch them myself. :D

Thank you Jess for personalising this bouquet for me - according to my hubby's wishes as a sender and my requirements as a recipient. Well Done! ;D

And thank you, hubby... for remembering me on Mother's Day... :)

For those who are looking for flowers to grace an occasion or just to brighten someone's day, widen your options by visiting http://www.dreamingdaisies.com/ or call 03-5633 3393 to look for Jess! She's one hell of a creative florist as long as you tell her what exactly you want!

Oh yes, will officially update about Mother's Day when Mother's Day is officially over.

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HAPPY WESAK & MOMMIES' DAY!!!

HAVE A BLESSED WEEKEND FILLED WITH LIGHT & LOVE...

The Return of the Old Camera

After a seemingly pleasant dinner with dad and my bros and their other halves, we took a slow stroll back home. Hubby had to remove certain stuffs from Lex (Lexus) to JayD (Alfa) because he was going to take JayD to work tomorrow. Don't know why, he suddenly opened the dashboard, and guess what - he found my faithful camera, the Canon IXUS 85 IS!

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Yes, I know. A shock. After all the trouble of camera researching and shopping and gratifying, there it was - the old camera. My first thought was, "shit.. what am I going to do now? do I tell dad, or do I not?" The dilemma lasted for a while. I called him; and he gave me a mouthful - as if regretting from his end why he even thought of 'compensating' me a camera when he was not responsible for the loss of my camera; or rather, it was not even established if it was his doing. He was really pissed; outwardly, he was pissed because it seemed like he thought that I was blaming him or had taken advantage of him (AGAIN!); inwardly, it felt like he was pissed with himself for allowing me to make him responsible for something that had nothing to do with him. Whatever it is, I felt bad. His mouthful was not just a mouthful. It was like... 10 or even 1000 mouthfuls, linking to the past of how I never stood up for him, protected him - about how I helped my mom leave him and blah blah blah. I was quite mindful of my feelings though - discomfort when he said those words but made no defence because it was really my carelessness that had made him lose RM2K++ because he bought the idea that he was the one who caused the lost of my camera! That silly, and yet generous and loving man who can also be so calculative when he is unconcsious.. hahaha.. ;p

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Well, anyway, he slammed down my phone - something that I am quite used to already. I merely text him thereafter, with sincerity in my heart, "Daddy, I am sorry, please forgive me, I love you..."

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Lesson learned from this chain of incident: -Never allow anyone to take responsibility for your loss although it seemed as if they are the ones responsible for it; because the truth you thought you know may not really be the truth. Further to that, even if they had taken responsibility for your loss but not from the space of love, it backfires.

Gratitude arising from the ownership of G10

Yup. Am still at it.. the G10.. haha..

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I felt inspired this morning to put in an entry about Gratitude from owning this G10. I've been clicking away and the pictures are beautiful although I'd still have much to work on my skills. But here's to you - those that had been with me through the journey of my ownership of the G10. Without your contribution, it wouldn't have been possible.

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Gladys & An - thank you for doing research on cameras to help me find a suitable one for my needs. thank you also sharing the excitement of my ownership of the G10.

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Gladys - thank you giving me the 'umph' to buy the G10.

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Tuck Loon - thank you for showing me your G10, which inevitable led to my ownership of one.

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Aunty Mandy - thank you for checking out the prices of the other cameras for me and asking me to consider the SLR. (I did seriously think about it!!)

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Hubby - thank you for accompanying me to Fotokem to help me pick out the G10.

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Allen - thank you for instilling the idea that G10 is a good one to consider, sharing on the zooms and later on, the notice on G10 that needs to be sent back to Canon for service. Mine is safe.

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Jon - thank you for your message on FB from dad to ask me to go get the camera myself.

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Thea - thank you for being my model. *winks*

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And most importantly,

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Dad - thank you for your love, generousity & understanding that made this ownership of G10 possible. For those of you who doesn't know yet, he has paid the full amount of the camera as a birthday gift for me.

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I am truly touched and feel my heart swaming with gratitude as I type away this entry. I only hope that I had not left anyone out. It's the journey of owning the G10, that makes owning the G10 so meaningful.

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Love.

My new Canon G10

Picture is Complimentary from Gladys

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Do I need to say more...?