Monday, February 23, 2009

The Weight

Disgustingly, I think I've put on weight again. And my dad had to send me a text this morning to remind about it. Hubby, always being the encouraging and loving hubby would assure me that I am fine and that it is just water retention. I chose to believe him and consoled myself until I saw a picture that Mervin tagged me today - AIKES, I have gained weight and I look TERRIBLE!!
...
Sickening. Truly truly sickening. I feel sick in such a body shape and I don't know what is stopping me from doing anything about it. I admit that I do eat, but I don't indulge. I think it is that confidence that I've gained since losing off some weight and relaxed my diet a little.. as in, I started indulging in carbos again. Being a PCOS patient, my body is insulin resistent - which means; if I am not ready to exercise X amount of hours to burn off fats, then I ought to only eat X-Y amount of food. Disgusting!
...
I am feeling pretty upset now, which is no good. But then again, maybe it is good 'cause it curbs my appetite. But that is certainly not a healthy way to lose weight. Shucks.. and all that resolution about getting to 51kg. Can I really do it? Mom said that it would be harder once I've reached a plato in losing weight and it will be harder. Sh*t!!
...
I think now, I am not proud of what I did to my own body. Hmm.. maybe I should find a picture of a body that I like and paste it on my dressing table mirror to remind myself of my goal. Yeah.. will do that tonight, and tomorrow start psyching myself to go to the gym to work out, work out and work out. Eat right, eat right and eat right!
....
ARGH.... Give me back my ideal body!!!!!!! Damn it!

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Tupperware, Tupperware!

I am very very pleased this morning. My fridge is now neat, tidy, organised and almost perfect. Why I say "almost" is because I still have some imperfections that I've not yet rectified. But so far, I am happy with the results.
...
My mom has been a fan of Tupperware since long time ago. She never dared indulged in it before because she never had the money to do so (I think she used the money on our tuitions then). So now that she has no commitments, she allowed herself totally to swim in tupperwares. You wouldn't believe it, she bought and bought and bought.. and would sell me at the cost prices that she bought them for. Initially I "layan"ed her since she was so into it. Tak kan I potong stim right? So I bought whatever that I could afford, mainly for Thea's school use, hubby's work use and some for the freezer. Last week, she told me that she wanted me to get this Fridge Set (for the bottom fridge, not freezer) because there was a promotion and free this and that.. before I could say yes, she already bought me for me and handed them to me the next time she saw me (which was on Thursday). I was a bit reluctant but the excitement in her hands when she handed me those tupperwares melted my heart to accept them graciously. Ahem, I still need to pay for them ok.
...
Yesterday afternoon, she called me out of a sudden and invited me to be a member so that I could enjoy the discounts myself. Also, she said that I could make it into a business if I wanted to since I have nothing to do and always complained that I was broke. I just laughed and told her that I will discuss with hubby. Coincidentally, I had to deliver something to my uncle who was staying in the same condo as my mom. When mom found out, she told me to go over to pick up a tupperware which she thought was useful for hubby to use for work (he packs meals to work). Actually, we had another one which hubby ignorantly heat up in the microwave for 5 minutes which caused the cover to warp. And lucky for us, or rather... well known for its quality, Tupperware is life time guarantee. So we took it back to mom for her to exchange. At the end, we changed model because we felt that the new one was better. ;p
...
Anyway, back to my fridge story. Work up early today. Chatted online for a while, checked emails and etc... and then decided to start pack my fridge with my new tupperware sets just for the fun of it. When I first opened my fridge, it was really a familiar sight. Although I hardly think that I have that many things in my fridge; yet it is always so full and space constraint. I already do have some foodstuffs in some existing tupperwares/containers so I only took out those that were put in those non-branded, no standard/cheapo types of tupperware/container. Sukanah was great.. she always come up to help me willingly whenever I am doing something like that.. hmm.. maybe she was afraid that I'd simply chuck things and then she couldn't find things.. hahaha.. but anyway, whenever we did kitchen stuffs together, we always have fun. This one including.
...
After I've transferred the foodstuffs from the old no-brand-cheapo tupperware/containers to my newly acquired tupperwares, I arranged them simply (really, not exaggerating.. before, I had to put in effort, but with these, I just simply stacked them) and to my very surprise, evidence of more space!! My fridge for the first time since year 2006 was so tidy, neat and organised!!! I was very very pleased... and then immediately regretted that I didn't take a picture of it before. Shucks.. And believe it or not, I really do feel some kind of peace and ease seeing my fridge so well organised.
...
I decided, that I am to be a proud Tupperware distributor. Did you know that besides that you are able to stack and keep things in a more organised way, they are life time guarantee and also environmental friendly? It is air-tight, leak proof, heat & cold resistant, microwavable (with instructions and only certain models) and trendy. They come in so many nice colours that even if the colours are mixed, they still look good when stacked together! They keep the food or drinks contained fresh within itself! I can vouch for it because I am a user myself! The best part is that they are really not expensive at all (well, at least not as expensive as more people think they are). Especially with their monthly promotions, there are savings of up to 25%! They are really really worth it. I am a true believer.
...
I'd really like to introduce you to the world of Tupperwares. You'd be drawn because they are not just gimmicks or something that you won't use. They are useful and practical. For those interested to live a healthier life (and I'd tell you why when we talk - credit given to my mom for sharing :)), please do do call me or email me. I'd really love to share the goodness that I am currently enjoying so that you could enjoy yours too! :)
...
Have a good day!

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Smoking

I don't think I've not told anyone that I want to quit smoking. I've been trying to do that since I was 21 and I am now 31, turning 32 later in the year. (Aikes, did I just disclose how young I am? ;p) Gladys is right when she said that to quit smoking is the one thing that I've failed miserably every year. Really. Sometimes I tell myself, ahhhh... heck it, I will just smoke because I enjoy it and want to. But honestly; as I ask myself many many times; do I really enjoy smoking?
...
Let me tell you what I don't like about smoking: -
  1. The smell of my breath after a cigarette
  2. The smell that stays in my hair after I smoke or when within the vicinity of people who smokes
  3. The occasional heaviness I feel when I smoke
  4. The smell of wet ashes from the cigarettes on ashtrays or wet cigarette buds
  5. The smell that stays in a confined or somewhat confined area (eventhough classified as outdoors) of cigarette smoke
  6. Actually, just the smell of lighted cigarettes
  7. How my heart beats like crazy just before I retire at night
  8. The heavy feeling in my chest when I wake up in the morning
  9. The non-alert feeling I get when I wake up in the morning
  10. What it will eventually do to my health
  11. The heat in my eyes & body when I smoke too much
  12. When Thea sees smoke coming out from my mouth and she says, "mommi, you blow fire?" (yeah, I know it sounds funny but honestly it is not THAT funny)
So far, these are all I can think of. Not sure if there's more... but even if there is, does it really matter?
...
Now, let me tell you what I enjoy about smoking: -
  1. The social effects
  2. It accompanies me when I am bored and alone (I realised that I smoke more when I have nothing to do or when there is no one around me)
  3. Its replacement for food (I feel like munching when I am actually full)
  4. The idea that it does have some sort of relaxing effect on me (as true as it sounds, it's just an idea.. I can't verify if it's entirely true)
Hmm... and that is all that I could think of. Imagine.. my feelings of dislikes overpowers my feelings of likes for a smoke, and yet there I go; puffing away like a bloody chimney! How odd!
...
You ask me, "So, now you see it, can you quit?" I'd tell you, I'd still love to. Some days I am good.. I can just go by with 2 cigarettes a day. And then the next few days, I'd be puffing away a whole pack. Don't ask me why, I myself don't know. Although I can be mindful about my intentions, but somehow there is a part of me that is not allowing me to see it.. why I need to smoke so that I could put a stop to it in hope that when I've found the reason(s), it'd release that unconscious guilt in me that is governing my need to smoke.
...
Yeah, it's nonsense. If I want to quit, then I will and can do it. If I don't want to do it, I'd have 1001 excuses. Typical huh?
...
I read a brochure that day about quitting smoking. It says that to quit smoking is like a battle, where victory can also be witnesses through perseverance. It also confirms that results of cold turkey usually ends up with 90% failure. It's really like training for a marathon until you reach your goal.
...
I don't want to give myself a target to when that will happen. But I do want to give myself a pat on the shoulders for the times that I've chosen not to indulge when I was aware of my intention or urge to do it. Hubby told me this, "Honey, you are much stronger than this. Do it only because you want it, not because you need it."
...
Well said, huh? :)

Monday, February 16, 2009

A Mixed Up Day

I woke up early this morning. I can't remember if I slept well, but I know I had weird dreams. I wanted to go to the gym but when I checked out the scheduled classes and found nothing interesting, I decided to just bring my book to SP to read.
...
While waiting for my breakfast, I made 2 phonecalls to 2 different friends. After that I called another friend related to one of the friends I made a phonecall to earlier. Despite having time to alter my loose short pants at the tailor in SP, I still had time to talk to him; though I had to cut short the conversation because I had to pick Thea from class.
...
After I got back, Thea pissed me off entirely until I actually lost my cool for the very very first time. I am ashamed to admit this, but I actually shouted at her and told her off for the very first time. I was feeling so angry, agitated and irritated! After that, I chatted with Gladys for a while and decided to have a drink with her at Pyramid. Somehow spending time with Gladys cooled me down. I was with Gladys from 3:15pm to about 6:30pm. It was great time spent with her. We talked about a lot of things, mainly about "Casper"s though.. hahaha.. and oh yes, I do need to mention this... in the midst of our spending time together, hubby called to say that he was on the way back. When I put down the phone, I was aware of my intentions of wanting to go home to my hubby; not to see him, but to pick a fight with him! It's like all the feelings of anger and irritation came back! Fortunately for him and also myself, I just noted that intention and continued my good time with Gladys.
...
During my journey home, I text hubby, if he was angry with me because it was very strange to me that I could have felt feelings like these out of a sudden. He didn't reply me. When I got home, I realised the reason why he didn't reply me was because he was on the phone. Surprisingly, I was not angry. I went to him, gave him a peck and told him that I was moody. After he put down the phone, we had dinner and talked. It was then that I realised that I had not been honest to myself or him about how I felt about a conversation he had with his colleague. Clearly, I was aware that I had a wrong interpretation of what he meant, which formed my suffering. I won't go into details; since it is such a mixed up day; but basically, it was my issue of wanting to put everything on my shoulders, wanting to be the hero for hubby. Actually, it is quite something to share, but I think I am too tired and drained to share now.. perhaps, some day... :)
...
After dinner, another friend called and enquired about meditation. The reason why I don't wish to mention names is because... well, it is their privacy. I had a really long chat with this friend.. and I got to share many of my experiences and knowledge with her. Although I do ponder about her unwillingness to reveal the true wisdom that she already has within her, I am truly touched by her willingness to now turn the radar inwards to see the truth. At least, I know that I could be some sort of support to her; my friend. :)
...
I took a shower after the conversation and decided to blog. Victor was online, so we chatted while I blogged. And then Thea came AGAIN to irritate me. I felt angry again. I sent her off harshly, which I don't normally do and I wish to stress that I am not proud of myself doing that. So I honestly told Victor about it. Now, Victor is an energy healer. Through MSN, he taught me how to deal with it and asked AAR for help. It was wonderful. The anger and irritation was released. And now, it is my job to ponder upon what caused all that. He suggested that it could be some hidden suppressed anger (which was why I was feeling angry the whole day long!) and that Thea was reminding me of it. He explained, that Thea is actually a reminder of my inner child little Gerry before. This, I really need to look into...
...
So it's nearly the end of the day for me now. I need to put Thea to sleep and recharge myself for an exciting day tomorrow.
...
Good night and sweet dreams! :D

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Modesty

I received an ang pow today from Clove&Clive. I find the message on the ang pow given to me meaningful which I would like to share.
...
Modesty
...
Within the Earth, a Mountain;
The Image of Modesty.
Thus the superior man reduces that which is too much,
And augments that which is too little.
He weighs things and makes them equal.
...
Be natural and unpretentious.
Be aware of your strengths and weaknesses.
Flaunt not your achievements or undervalue yourself.
If you have a light, then let it shine.
But do not set yourself up to outshine others.

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Valentine's Day - Swept Away...

Swept away again...
...
Hubby and I celebrated V-Day on Monday so beat the rush with all other couples in town. Also, we had to attend little Kierstan's 1st Birthday Party today so we decided celebrate earlier, as we always do anyway. We went to Sunway Pyramid for brunch (on Monday)- Senjyu Sushi I think. One of our regular joints for Jap. We chatted and ate. Great fun! :D After that, we went into this t-shirt shop next to Senjyu Sushi. He bought 1 vulgar t-shirt for himself, and 1 drunkard t-shirt for Siang. After that, we walked around aimlessly before we decided to head home. I know, just like a normal pak-tor day right? But it was good for us; holding hands and just spending alone time together. Felt like the younger days...
...
And today, he had to wake up at 430am to go to work. I had not written the valentine card I bought him, because I thought that I had time since he was off to work. I knew he bought me a valentine card because I saw him carrying a card on Wednesday when he came to pick us up from Subang Parade after his clearance with his old company. So I signed the valentine card happily and left it on the study table since I had not decided where I wanted to place it. Little did I notice, I spotted a pink envelope on the shoe rack in the hall. It was for me!! It was his valentine card to me and it was so so sweet... he even handwrote a few sweet things... and one of it was "I really appreciate what you've done for me, even when it's as simple as saying, "I love you"." I tell you, I was moved to tears.. it touched me deep inside. So I decided to place my valentine card to him at the same place where I found mine; for him to come back to discover it.
...
At approximately 12pm, Ryan came over with his girlfriend, Agnes. They had gone out for 1 year and 2 months and yeah, I know.. it is peculiar to me as well that they chose to visit me on a V-day rather than to go someplace to spend alone time together. We had great fun though. We went out for lunch and then followed by yum chat at Old Town, KK. We talked and talked.. erm, actually it was more like I talked and talked.. hahaha.. until I had nothing else to say. Hubby joined us at about 4pm and it was then that I realised that I had hung out with Ryan and Agnes since 12pm until then! We talked and hung out a little bit more until nearly 6pm before we parted our ways. It was good catching up with old friends. Thanks to Hilda! :)
...

Anyway, when we came back I saw this...

Flowers!! It was white tulips and so beautifully wrapped!! I never expected it and it was awesome! Tulips, was indeed the first type of flower that I fell in love with! And the message on the card was aww.... really so so sweet... I was totally swept away... even on such a hot day!! (It is really awfully hot today!) Hubby's only disappointment was that I was not home to receive it! ;p

...
Eventhough my V-day was nothing exciting or romantic, but the people that filled my time and moments today entirely made my day... Ryan, Agnes and of course, my darling hubby..
...
So AGT, in case you are still weary... it is truly truly romantic and beautiful in a somewhat simple way... There is always sunshine after the rain. :D

Finding Your Spirit: Understanding what spirituality means to you.

I received this particular write up from Lai Fun last month. I printed it out and it was lying on my desk for a while even after I've read it. To have read it again kinda gives me the answers to share with people who get all confused of what spirituality really is.
...
Most people think that embarking on the spiritual path simply means, in one way or another renouncing the world and work your way to being a monk or a saint. While there are certain truth it it, renouncing the world doesn't mean having to sacrifice anything; just your own meaning to it. Anyway, it is just something that I've just learnt and still learning which I will share on a later date once I am more familiar with it. Mind you, it might take years. :p
...
Coming back to the article. It is as below: -
...
What is Spirituality?
To begin a spiritual journey, the first step is understanding what spirituality means to you. Five spiritual thinkers answer one of life's toughest questions.
...
To begin a spiritual journey, it's important to first understand what spiritual means. Spiritual leaders from around the world want to help you start your journey by explaining what spirituality means to them.
...
1. Eckhart Tolle, author of A New Earth, says to be spiritual is to live in a state of openness. "With that openness, a far greater power comes into your life," he says. "So to be spiritual is to be in touch, connected with that dimension of depth in yourself."
...
Eckhart says you need to be come more aware of the aliveness of this moment. "The aliveness that is all around you no matter where you are. And to become aware of that, you need to become a little bit more alert than you usually are," Eckhart says. "Increasingly, you become rooted in the aliveness and the fullness of the present moment. That's to lead a spiritual life."
...
2. Spiritual author and lecturer Marianne Williamson says spirituality wakens when you become still and humble. "There are forces inside you - forces of fear and limitation and chaos - and they live inside us saying, "You can't do that," she says. "Spirituality is where you lay claim to a ground of being within yourself where you say, "I want to be that. I really do. I want to be that person that I'm capable of being."
...
Marianne says people aren't happy because of what they aren't giving. "The most important thing is that we learn how to forgive each other and that we learn how to love each other. How to live in the spirit of blessing and not blame," Marianne says. "The spiritual path doesn't mean always an easier path, but it means a choice. A choice that we're making to try our best to be as loving as we can be."
...
3. Rabbi Irwin Kula, president of the National Jewish Center for Learning and Leadership, says the key to being a spiritual person is understanding that it takes practice. "You have to practice becoming alert, becoming more conscious, being aware," he says. "And you have to practice becoming kinder, more compassionate and more caring."
...
Rabbi Kula has a rule that will help you practice your spirituality. "You have to develop your head, your heart, and your hands," he says. In order to develop your head, Rabbi Kula says you need to learn something new about yourself, someone else or an opinion you strongly disagree with, because doing so will help you become more conscious, aware or alert.
...
When you are grateful for things, Rabbi Kula says you develop your heart. He suggests that at the end of the day you think of 10 things that you're grateful for.
...
The idea of developing your hands means to perform an act of kindness every day. "Here's the key: [perform the act of kindness for] someone more vulnerable than you," Rabbi Kula says. "And it's like anything else. The more we practice, the better we become."
...
4. The Rev. Ed Bacon says that like law and medicine, spirituality is a practice. "Spiritual practitioners must practice spirituality where we stop, take a breath, become still inside - that's the act of meditation and contemplation," he says. "It is the same in all of the religions."
...
The Rev. Bacon's advice for people seeking a spiritual journey is threefold. "That is to be in nature, to connect with the arts and to connect with ritual," he says. "It is in moments of serenity, stillness, that we experience something much larger, transcendent, cosmic than we are."
...
5. Michael Bernard Beckwith says everyone is spiritual, though not everyone realizes it. Spirituality, he says, is the awakening to a dimension of the being of soul. "When one begins to really feel into the spiritual dimension of their beings, they bump into love. They bump into compassion. They bump into beauty," he says.
...
When you begin to notice the things in life you are grateful for, Michael says you will stop seeing obstacles or hindrances. "You see potential. You see possibilities," he says. "Then you become an open vehicle for more inspiration, more wisdom, more guidance coming from the spiritual part of your being."
...
Article emailed to me by Chan Lai Fun, Clove&Clive. Thank you, Lai Fun. :)
...
And a very happy valentine's day to you. This, is my valentine gift to you. Love.

Monday, February 9, 2009

Dad's Christmas Present

Some unpleasant event happened on Christmas Day, so my dad never got the chance, or rather got into the mood to open the Christmas present that I gave him. A few times I asked him why he hadn't opened it and he'd sarcastically reply, "You already gave me the best Christmas gift." Ok, yes, I boo-booed. Although I didn't think that it was entirely my fault but I do admit that I was insensitive to the situation and do have to take full responsibility of what I did. And no, I will not go into details because no use crying or mentioning about the spilt milk right?
...
Anyway, this evening dad suddenly called me and invited me to his house to discuss about the residential committee's newsletter about dogs. There was this newsletter that our president sent out and he had asked me over to clarify certain matters. That didn't take long. Thereafter, we started chatting about other stuffs comfortably. After a while, I remembered about the present which was still lying on the side table in his hall. So I went to take it and gave it to him. Being my grumpy dad, he nagged a little about what happened on Christmas Day but when I finally placed the present in front of him, he opened it carefully.
...
It was a book on the 100 Wonders of the World. I know how much he loves traveling especially to places which borne historical meanings. I was so pleased when he flipped each page of the book, one by one; with me sitting beside him. We talked about the places that he has been and the places that he wish to visit. It was truly truly a pleasant father and daughter bonding session. I enjoyed it.
...
When he finished flipping the last page, he said this, "Now, don't think that this book that you gave me can make up for all the things you did to me..." I laughed at him. He was just so cute when he said that. I told him that the gift was not to make up to him, but to support his interest in traveling the world. Before I left, he said, "Thank You." and I gave him a hug before I walked home.
...
Yes, I do love my dad very much and I know he loves me too. I guess I was very childish then and did not have the wisdom to understand the hardship that he had been through to have said or treated me in a certain way. I failed to see that all he ever wanted was to give me his best, although I knew it. Now I've come to understand that knowing one thing and understanding it is 2 entirely different things. Now that I am older and am on this spiritual journey, it has helped me understand that many a times when I was hurt and angry, it was not because of him but because I had allowed myself to play the role of a victim when in actual fact was never his true intention. It was all love. Love from a dad to a child; sincerity from the heart. Just that he had his own issues too, just as I had mine.
...
Sometimes I feel bad that I am unable to be the daughter that he wants me to be. But then again, if I'd ever thread on that line again; I'm pretty sure that I'd be a bigger disappointment to myself because I'd not be true to myself and for that, in some way or another, fail him miserably.
...
I am feeling more peaceful now.. being able to turn my radar inward from the initial outward. Because I am now able to see more clearly that whatever that is outside of me, is merely my own reflection and creation. And sincerely, I choose to create my world with love.
...
Blessed Be.

Sunday, February 8, 2009

David & Dolly's Wedding (7/2/2009)

Not many people that I hang out with very often would know them. In fact, I myself don't even know David and was not fortunate enough to even have a word with him. Dolly, was a very close friend of mine. The reason why it's in past tense is because, well.. the last time I saw her was on my wedding day in year 2004. Don't know why, we just never got around to catch up with each other much. Although I told myself and already confirmed with her that I would attend her wedding dinner some time ago, I found myself comtemplating if I should really go just earlier in the afternoon. 3 reasons for the comtemplation: 1) I had to go alone and wasn't sure if I'd know anybody there 2) Jln Bukit Bintang was closed for some CNY celebration and I had to use another alternative road which I was not familiar with 3) I don't know what to wear - the clothes I had before I got married or had Thea was too tight; the clothes I had after I had Thea was too loose and I didn't have time to go shopping for a new gown/formal dress.
...
At the end, I decided that I should go, for only one reason: Dolly.
...
I put on my Roxy tube and jeans and wrapped my neck around with an AirAsia scraf that hubby bought me months ago. I looked semi-formal. Erm, actually I think casual was more like it. But I figured that it was my presence that mattered; and I was comfortable in such clothes for today anyway, so I attended the wedding dinner wearing just that.
...
When I got into KL through Jln Sungai Besi, I was quite sure that I wasn't familiar in how to get to Westin due to the road closure. I listened carefully for the Angels' guidance and observed my surroundings for any road turning into Ritz Carlton from Jln Imbi, as Dolly instructed via SMS. And of course, it took me additional turns after I missed the turning into Ritz Carlton to get to Westin. Anyhow, I found my way and decided to park at the valet since I was alone.
...
As I stepped out of the lift and into the Grand Ballroom area, I was nothing but surprised! Most of the guests were familiar faces! Mark, Marilyn, Gary & his wife, Purdee, Laticia, Jyh Hoe, Tien Sim, Mun Chuan, HanVi, Yiu Lin and some others. It was amazing - they were either friends I knew from swimming, from Sri KL, from college or from Melbourne! Although time did not permit me to catch up sufficiently with each and everyone of them, but certainly it felt so good to see them once again!
...
I chatted the most with Marilyn and Gary because they were seated right next to me at the same table. I loved their company! Well, actually I think I would have loved the company of all the old friends that I'd met tonight if I had the chance to just sit down to chat with them too but since the closest was Gary and Marilyn, I guess that'll have to do for now! ;p It was a great catching up session nevertheless!
...
A little bit about the dinner: It was great! It was truly modern and fun. Lots of laugters and jokes came from the couple's friends, relatives and they themselves. Have you ever heard a groom say this, "I would like to thank my parents for raising such a fine young man like me."? hahaha... his speech was awesomely funny and heartwarming! I loved it! The video of their ceremony, and their growing up years and years spent together pak-tor-ing was also tastefully done. It was indeed a memorable night!
...
I got back about 1:30am, with hubby waiting for me while getting ready to watch a football match on astro. After I showered and while seated on my faithful massage chair, I told hubby that if I am to start attending wedding or formal functions, I should really start buying nice gowns since the old ones don't really fit and I shouldn't buy those that flare 'cause they make me look fat and pregnant (because I have pretty broad shoulders). Hahaha... another fine excuse to shop! Luckily, he agreed. :)
...
So, who wants to go shopping with me next? ;D
...
Thank you, dear Dolly, for remembering to include me in your special event. For that has not only given me an opportunity to witness an important mark in your journey of life but also brought me back to a circle of old friends whom I nearly forgot that I had. I wish you and David love, happiness and respect in your journey together.
...
Be loved, for you are loved. :)

Friday, February 6, 2009

The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

This is a book that I've just completed yesterday. I finished it within 24 hours. It is quite an easy book to read, with some spiritual lessons that I wish to share.
...
When someone sees the same people very day, as had happened with him at the seminary, they wind up becoming a part of that person's life. And then they want the person to change. If someone isn't what others want them to be, the others become angry. Everyone seems to have a clear idea of how other people should lead their lives, but none about his or her own.
...
"It's this: that at a certain point in our lies, we lose control of what's happening to us, and our lives become controlled by fate. That's the world's greatest lie."
...
"Don't forget that everything that you deal with is only one thing and nothing else. And don't forget the language of omens. And, above all, don't forget to follow your destiny though its conclusion."
...
"Everyone has his or her own way of learning things," he said to himself. "His way isn't the same as mine, nor mine as his. But we're both in search of our destinies, and I respect him for that."
...
The camel driver, though, seemed not to be very concerned with the threat of war.
"I'm alive" he said to the boy, as they ate a bunch of dates one night, with no fires and no moon. "When I'm eating, that's all I think about. If I'm on the march, I just concentrate on marching. If I have to fight, it will be just as good a day to die as any other.
"Because I don't live in either my past of my future. I'm interested only in the present. If you can concentrate always on the present, you'll be a happy man. You'll see that there is life in the desert, That there are stars in the heavens, and that tribesmen fight because they are part of the human race. Life will be a party for you, a grand festival, because life is the moment we're living right now."
...
The language that everyone on earth was capable of understanding in their hearts. It was love.
...
It was the pure Language of the World. It required no explanation, just as the universe needs none as it travels through endless time.
...
And when two such people encounter each other, and their eyes meet, the past and the future become unimportant. There is only that moment, and the incredible certainty that everything under the sun has been written by one hand only. It is the hand that evokes love, and creates a twin soul for every person in the world. Without such love, one's dreams would have no meaning.
...
"When people consult me, it's not that I'm reading the future; I am guessing at the future. The future belongs to God, and it is only he who reveals it, under extraordinary circumstances. How do I guess at the future? Based on the omens of the present. The secret is here in the present. If you pay attention to the present, you can improve upon it. And, if you improve on the present, what comes later will also be better. Forget about the future, and live each day according to the teachings, confident that God loves his children. Each day, in itself, brings with it an eternity."
...
"Only when he, himself, reveals it. And God rarely reveals the future. When he does so, it is for only one reason: it's a future that was written so as to be altered."
...
"It's not what enters men's mouths that's evil," said the alchemist. "It's what comes out of their mouths that is."
...
"Don't say anything," Fatima interrupted. "One is loved because one is loved. No reason is needed for loving."
...
"Don't think about what you've left behind," the alchemist said to the boy as they began to ride across the sands of the desert. "Everything is written in the Soul of the World, and there it will stay forever."
...
"If one finds is made of pure matter, it will never spoil. And one can always come back. If what you had found was only a moment of light, like the explosion of a star, you would find nothing on your return."
...
"There is only one way to learn," the alchemist answered. "It's through action. Everything you need to know you have learned through your journey. You need to learn only one thing more."
...
"The wise men understood that this natural world is only an image and a copy of paradise. The existence of this world is simply a guarantee that there exists a world that is perfect. God created the world so that, through visible objects, men could understand his spiritual teachings and the marvels of his wisdom. That's what I mean by action."
...
"Listen to your heart. It knows all things, because it came from the Soul of the World, and it will one day return there."
...
"Treason is a blow that comes unexpectedly. If you know your heart well, it will never be able to do that to you. Because you'll know its dreams and wishes, and will know how to deal with them.
"You will never be able to escape from your heart. So it's better to listen to what it has to say. That way, you'll never have to fear an unanticipated blow."
The boy continued to listen to his heart as they crossed the desert. He came to understand its dodges and tricks, and to accept it as it was. He lost his fear, and forgot about his need to go back to the oasis, because, one afternoon, his heart told him that it was happy. "Even though I complain sometimes," it said, "it's because I'm the heart of a person, and people's hearts are that way. People are afraid to pursue their most important dreams, because they feel that they don't deserve them, or that they'll be unable to achieve them. We, their hearts, become fearful just thinking of loved ones who go away forever, or of moments that could have been good but weren't, or of treasures that might have been found but were forever hidden in the sands. Because, when these things happen, we suffer terribly."
"My heart is afraid that it will have to suffer," the boy told the alchemist one night as they looked up at the moonless sky.
"Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse that the suffering itself. And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second's encounter with God and with eternity."
"Every second of the search is an encounter with God," the boy told his heart. "When I have been truly searching for my treasure, everyday has been luminous, because I've known that every hour was a part of the dream that I could find it. When I have been truly searching for my treasure, I've discovered things along the way that I never would have seen had I not had the courage to try things that seemed impossible for a shepherd to achieve."
So his heart was quiet for an entire afternoon. That night, the boy slept deeply, and when he awoke, his heart began to tell him things that came from the Soul of the World. It said that all people who are happy have God within them. And that happiness could be found in a grain of sand from the desert, as the alchemist had said. Because a grain of sand is a moment of creation, and the universe has taken millions of years to create it. "Everyone on earth has a treasure that awaits him," his heart said. "We, people's hearts, seldom say much about those treasure, because people no longer want to go in search of them. We speak of them only to children. Later, we simply let life proceed, in its own direction, toward its own fate. But, unfortunately, very few follow the path laid out for them - the path to their destinies, and to happiness. Most people see the world as a threatening place, and because they do, the world turns out, indeed, to be a threatening place.
"So, we, their hearts, speak more and more softly. We never stop speaking out, but we begin to hope that our words won't be heart: we don't want to people to suffer because they don't follow their hearts."
"Why don't people's hearts tell them to continue to follow their dreams?" the boy asked the alchemist.
"Because that's what makes a heart suffer most, and hearts don't like to suffer."
From then on, the boy understood his heart. He asked it, please, never to stop speaking to him. He asked that, when he wandered far from his dreams, his heart press him and sound the alarm. The boy swore that, every time he heard the alarm, he would heed its message.
That night, he told all of this to the alchemist. And the alchemist understood that the boy's heart had returned to the Soul of the World.
"So what should I do now?" the boy asked.
"Continue in the direction of the Pyramids," said the alchemist. "And continue to pay heed to the omens. Your heart is still capable of showing you where the treasure is."
"Is that the one things I still needed to know?"
"No," the alchemist answered. "What you still need to know is this: before a dream is realised, the Soul of the World tests everything that was learned along the way. It does this not because it is evil, but so that we can, in addition to realizing our dreams, master the lessons we've learned as we moved toward that dream. That's the point at which most people give up. It's the point at which, as we say in the language of the desert, "one 'dies of thirst just when the palm trees have appeared on the horizon.'
"Every search begins with beginner's luck. And every search ends with the victor's being severely tested."
...
"When you possess great treasures within you, and try to tell others of them, seldom are you believed."
...
"If a person is living out his destiny, he knows everything he needs to know. There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure."
...
"This is what we call love," the boy said, seeing that the wind was close to granting what he requested. "When you are loved, you can do anything in creation. When you are loved, there's no need at all to understand what's happening, because everything happens within you, and even men can turn themselves into the wind. As long as the wind helps, of course."
...
"Well, why did you say that I don't know about love?" the sun asked the boy.
"Because it's not love to be static like the desert, nor is it love to roam the world like the wind. And it's not love to see everything from a distance, like you do. Love is a force that transforms and improves the Soul of the World. When I first reached through to it, I thought the Soul of the World was perfect. But later, I could see that it was like other aspects of creation, and had its own passions and wars. It is we who nourish the Soul of the World, and the world we live in will be either better of worse, depending on whether we become better or worse. And that's where the power of love comes in. Because when we love, we always strive to become better than we are."
...
Excerpts from The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Heroes Season II

Finished it within 2 days. Again, if not for all the things that I need to do, I would have finished it within 24 hours.. haha.. only 11 episodes! Easy!
...
I find that it is still interesting, except that it is not as "chee kek" as Season 1. Eva says that it is because in Season 1, the storyline was building up the characters which made it more interesting. She had a point there. But Season 2 didn't fail me.. just that I will stop watching any series for now until I have faithfully finished Gem of Life showing on AOD. Hahaha... only 8 more episodes to go. Besides, when I am "chasing" any series, it is like I am oblivious to the world! Hubby can vouch for that! Haha!
...
I have more updates to come for CNY. But since CNY is not over yet, might as well wait for it to be ENTIRELY over before I update about it. It is indeed a busy CNY. Of course, Heroes added more spice for me ;p. Haha..
...
Ok la.. it is 5:47am. Woke up super early together with hubby to make him breakfast since I neglected him yesterday because of Heroes.. hahaha... and now it is time to catch Gem of Life before the sun greets. I missed it last night because I was toooooooooo tired.. hehehe ;D