The Eve of the Eve of 2010

Came back a while ago from my first meeting with the Resident Committee as President. Didn't feel any different. Although some fellow members could not turn up but the support that I've received was still tremendously solid. There were practical queries, suggested solutions and healthy discussions. It was obvious that those in the Committee were in the Committee to serve the community. It is a good feeling. :)

I've also prepared chicken sandwich for hubby. First time! But I didn't prepare the chicken. Leftovers from Italianies last night ;p. Mixed it with a little mayo and black pepper - simple! and yummy too (I tried!)! Hope hubby will enjoy it.

While washing the dishes, a conversation I had with Penny this morning surfaced in the mind which made me laughed quietly to myself. It went like that...

Gerry: Eh, I tot you taking leave to spend a day with me?

Penny: Ya, I got 4 days leave left, but all frozen.

Gerry: Why like that?

Penny: Company say not enough people to work wor..

Gerry: Wah.. why your company like that one *laughing*

Penny: Ya lah.. so much work to do man.. and then office nobody some more..

Gerry: Ok lor..

Penny: I know, I know.. I promised you already... next week la k...

Gerry: Next week a bit difficult lor.. because Thea starts school already...

Penny: Aiya... sorry la.. tomorrow I got work to do, that's why cannot take leave.. going back to Malacca in the night some more..

Gerry: huh? going back to Malacca? no need to work on Friday meh?

Penny: Friday holiday mah...

Gerry: Ya meh? holiday meh?

Penny: Ya lah! New Year mah... aiya, but people who don't work don't know one lah..

We both burst into laughters...

And that's when I realised that tomorrow is New Year's Eve and Friday is New Year, and yes, also a holiday... :D

So I went back to my previous post in the beginning of the year to re-read my New Year resolutions. Sad to say, I've only fulfilled 2 out of 7 of them.. but you know what, I had this New Year Vision for 2009 which I think I did pretty well!!

New Year Vision for 2009

1. 
   
   To learn how to entirely trust myself - I realised that the word 'entirely' is a BIG word!! Lols. But yes, I have made progess in trusting myself. I'd say that there had been instances where I've trusted myself more than I did before in previous years. Hooray!!
   
   
   
2. 
   
   To honour and respect myself in all aspects - Yes, I've honoured and respected my needs a little bit more this year - daringly speak of my needs rather than keeping quiet and going with the flow of things with resistance within.
   
   
   
3. 
   
   To love myself more and to accept myself in areas I have not done so - Yes, with the baby steps of finding the false ideas I have of myself and others; I've come to love myself a little more. The acceptance can be pretty tricky and difficult evident from my continuous judgements on myself. I know.. how could it be possible to not accept when I love, right? All I can say is that I am not so hard on myself anymore.. there is now more gentlenes towards myself. Tha'ts progress, right?
   
   
   
4. 
   
   To forgive myself when I have allowed myself to be dishonest, a victim, or be in an unpleasant/uneasy feeling or situation - wow... this part is R-E-A-L-L-Y difficult. Actually, more correctly, the above 'Acceptance' bit would be a result of forgiveness. Though not many times I could forgive myself evident from the guilt I still carry on my shoulders, but I'd say that awareness of it has been helpful in my journey.
   
   
   
5. 
   
   To do what I want to do when I want to; contrary to doing out of obligation and/or fear - Yes! Yes! Yes! I'd say that 50-60% of the time I'd be doing what I want to do! And that is HUGE progress to me! Because I'd do them with joy!! Be it outing with a friend(s), reading a book, lazing around, shopping, cooking... with company, alone, whatever!!! Tremendous joy and freedom!! No one to answer to except myself!!!
   
   
   

Maybe the 'vision' method is more effective than the 'resolution' or 'to-do' method.. Lols! Ah well, I believe I've grown in areas which matters most in my heart although I am also aware of my non-satisfaction too! I guess I must be greedy!! Lols.

Since it is still the Eve of the Eve, I guess I still have another day to think about what I'd create for the coming year.

I ask for inspiration, and then determination to follow suit... :)

The Culprit.

Another step closer to liberation. :)

=====

A conversation with someone dear to me this morning left me feeling really yucky. I tried hard to shake off the feeling by using positive affirmations and whatever tools that I had equipped myself. Unfortunately (and fortunately at the end :)), it did not go away for long. The first instance of reaction (note: re-action, and not loving response) was to find a way out. Lovingly, no way out was possible without me bruising my ego or reputation further, so I stuck to it. And then, I questioned this resistance. What is this actually all about. I thought it was over and done with!! I thought I had dealt with it!! - but it looked like there were still more to uncover... and as much as I disliked this yucky feeling, I knew that it was a sign from Love itself, to look into it, learn the truth about it, embrace it and release it.

But human being human, or could I add - the conditioned mind being the conditioned mind, I went about running errands, still trying away to sweep the yucky feeling under the carpet, hoping to keep the mind so occupied that the yucky feeling would go away. The yucky feeling stayed.. no matter how much I tried not to look at it. The harder I tried, the yuckier the feeling.. and when the yucky feeling no longer emphasized its existence more, it projected itself in the surroundings. Everything else was just as irritating and yucky.

So, in the midst of my errands, I got fed-up and asked for guidance. Having asked for guidance, I knew that the next step of action was to surrender and not allow myself to get-in-the-way, as in... not to answer my own questions and to wait patiently. I know that the ego catches up fast, hence the imitation of guidance were always surrounding, deterring and blocking the truth that prevails the situation.

It was until the late afternon... flashes of past and present experiences appeared in the mind that made me realised the yet faulty idea that still possessed the mind.

Ownership. And I thought that I was over that. But I guess, we could never be entirely over it because we had built so many layers and layers of it, around it. It's sickening. No wonder the spiritual saying, it's like peeling an onion...

The yucky feeling this morning (or rather half a day) had allowed me to realised how I was still owning people in my mind. Sure, consciously I may say, "oh you don't belong to me, I don't belong to you." but so unconsciously (because it is an idea sitted deep into the subconscious) I still had an idea that I own you, or her, or him, or even, it. Amazing.. and then to realise the culprit behind all the past and present experiences going round and round in its vicious cycles was actually, ME!! Liberating, exuberating and yet... hmm, guilty. I know it sounds contradicting. :{

To put it more correctly... it is the idea behind that had caused the repeated cycles of experiences. And the guilt is my seeing and holding others as wrong. Great Masters would remind us how innocent we are, on how these ideas were adopted innocently, unconsiously, when we did not know any better... but the ego would go on and on reminding us, how guilty we actually all are, shouting, "WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY YOU DON'T KNOW ANY BETTER?!?!?"

I think I've got one mean ego... It's always like that!! Although I do know that I am innocent, I do not feel I am innocent. I feel like I AM the culprit, guilty of any unpleasantness that had surfaced in my hologram :( .

I am aware now that as I type this, the loving mind and the unwholesome mind is debating with itself...

Jesus said... argue, argue, argue...

Buddha said... argue, argue, argue...

Hari says... argue, argue, argue...

BB said... argue, argue, argue...

Angel said... argue, argue, argue...

blah, blah, blah...

Sighs...How about what I say?? Now, waitaminute... I could say something?!?

Of course... but then, the 'I' is in no position to say anything at the moment.. for the 'I' is still feeling wounded. So I guess, the 'I' has not entirely, fully dived deep into the feeling of guilt. Perhaps to rightfully put it, the true essence has not emerged.

Great Masters tell us, that there are gifts behind the veils. Only sometimes the veils seem so dark, so scary that it takes a lot of courage to look at it eye-to-eye.

So who is the culprit here, who had incorporated so much of these false ideas of the Self, created so much fear that it would take so much courage to look within?

All is not but the existence of the 'I'. How attractive, yet unattractive...

Namaste.

A Belated Christmas Lunch & Avatar

Last year, JayLyn, Siang, hubby and I made a peg during our Chrismas luncheon that we would do this every year, that is, to have Christmas lunch with each other annually thereon. This year, we kept to our peg albeit a little late. But like what I always say, late is always better than never, right? ;)

This year, because of my accumulation of vouchers and my new found thirst to make use of vouchers, I suggested that we all had lunch in Pavillion, KL because I had a RM5 Voucher for Godiva and a RM5 Voucher for some S&J Gift shop in Pavillion. I know, lame. : /

So we had lunch at this place. Weissbrau. I don't think I know how to even pronouce this.

They were non-halal. So we had a lot of pork. Three of them had beer and I had juice. I've quit drinking, you see.. lols. And we had loads of fun talking and talking and talking. The topics of the day were different of last year's. Last year, we mainly talked about Jesus and religious teachings. This year, we discussed on children - how their parents' teachings and guidance influenced the behaviour of children, and how powerless parents feel at the end of the day when the children turned out to be not 'up-to-marked'.

I'd say that my input into the conversations were more grounded, though I attempted to include concepts such as 'mirroring' and 'reflections'. It's either they understood it but didn't want to go that way; or I made a poor brief presentation of it. Either way, the discussion was great and perfect. I wouldn't have willed it any other way. Or else, it might have ended up with me talking all the time; or they leaving the table more confused, or with more resistent - of course, depending on my inner world and beliefs of how they would receive my words to be - all just projections of my unconscious guilt.

JayLyn & Siang left for golf after lunch. Hubby and I went to Godiva. I had an absolutely wonderful experience sipping some Mint Chocolate Milk, I think. Hubby and I finally had the time to catch up with each other and until now I still feel that I hadn't had enough of it. I just miss talking to him. He has been working so hard, and I have been going out so much. Lols!

Shortly, we proceeded to the cinema. We decided to watch Avatar - strangely, I've heard good stuffs about the movie and he hadn't heard any about the movie. I remember during our ride up to Pavillion, our conversation (not exact words) went something like that: -

he said, "all movies these days are crap."
I asked him, "how do you know that?"
he said, "ya... no story, not interesting... no one is talking about it."
I said, "then why you wanna watch New Moon?"
he said, "New Moon different mah, because it is a sequel... the others are all rubbish..."

Very strange comments he made.

I replied, "so, it's like you have to hear something about the movie, some remarks about the movie, or maybe some story about the movie before you could say that it's good movie and you'd want to watch it?"

he said, "no, I don't mean it that way.. just that no one is talking about it."

I replied, "but whether people are talking about it or not, don't you think the attitude behind this is that because you don't know what to expect out of a movie, you come to a conclusion that it's a crap movie and then you don't watch it; likewise, if someone told you about the movie, and then you feel a little safer to watch the movie, thinking that it could be quite good."

he said, "no, I don't think so."

I said, "then why not be open to it all, just pick a movie and then be open to it. Watch it first, before concluding if it is a good movie or not. By the way, it (the movie) is kinda subjective too."

he said, "true, true."

So we decided to watch Avatar because that was the most suitable timing for us. New Moon only had 2 shows - one at 12pm (too early) and the other at 7pm (too late).

Avatar is one of the most fascinating movie I've ever watched. Hubby agreed. The CGI (I learnt this from Lai Fun) was great (for my standard at least) and the whole movie was so so colouful and beautiful... We both enjoyed the movie so much. Maybe it is because I facilitate a sharing at C&C for the Free Movie Session that entails me to keep a look out for spiritual lessons that I found pertty much stuffs to share from this movie!

For instance, the mind.. how they could transport the mind from the human body to the Avatar - meaning that the mind, or perhaps the the true essence (in this movie's context) exist even out of the body, but nevertheless experiences the limitations of the body (humans cannot breathe in the Pandora, apparently another planet in the movie); and how when this guy in the Avatar body got shot and when he came back to his own body, still felt the pain and trauma from the Avatar body but as he quickly remembered that he is now out of the Avatar body he is no longer succumbbed to the pain the Avatar body experiences. Amazing isn't it...

And of course also... the intention. Jake's intention to experience the Avatar body was purely for his own reasons and the company's commercial reasons, and how.. after being touched by Love, one of an initial intention not of Love would result in a change of the initial intention (or another intention if you will) leading to an altered course of action thus calling upon miracles. It's beautiful...

I remember, crying nearly bucket of tears as Jake's prayers were answered as all the animals in Avatar came forth to help the natives. The scene was so beautiful and touching that I just could not stop my tears from flowing! My heart just swelled with so much appreciation and love, despite that it is just a story, a man-made movie.

I love this movie. In fact, I am so ready to watch it with Terri again this Thursday, that is, if she still wants to watch it a second time after tonight. Lols. Our date had to be postponed... sighs, because of me again... sighs.. my timing and schedule are all just crazy for the moment, adding to the fact that I am needing of time to just be myself.. you know, the 'Alone Me Time'. Lols.

Out of frustration of not being able to spend time with myself, I blurtedly asked hubby, "Why do we even celebrate seasons?!?" And I asked this (shamefully) in a resentful manner. Wise hubby replied, "It is ok to celebrate, honnee.. but not out of obligations." How how true... Thank you for the reminder, baby.. :)

My aunts would be leaving tomorrow already. While I would miss them, I am also looking forward to some time spent alone at home with Thea, to catch up on some homework and reading.

I've created a wonderful yet tiring experience for myself for the past week; but I love every minute of it.. even in my moments of moodiness and frustrations.. lols.

Love.

A Visit to Siddharthan Home II

An update from Navitha.

She told me so joyfully that the kids were so happy upon receiving and opening their christmas presents. Although I was not present to witness it, but the excitement from Navitha's voice brought tears to my eyes. She told me that all the presents received by the kids were their christmas wishes.. it must have touched them even more than how it has touched me, just the listener of such sweet news...

God bless those children... including those volunteers of LoveHeals who made this event/experience possible for us all...

Love.

A Visit to Siddharthan Home

I was invited by LoveHeals to visit Siddharthan Home today, 26th December 2009. Together with Lai Fun, we arrived at the Home at about 10am. My bad, 'cause I woke up late.. the event started at 9am. :/

When we arrived, we were awed and surprised by the decorations that greeted us at the Home. Chairs were lined up properly and all the kids were gathered at the open area with some volunteers of LoveHeals. There were even small cute soft toys hung up from the ceiling, christmas trees and balloons all over! The volunteers and kids were having some dance competitions so we were also welcomed by the sounds of music, the loud voice of instructions coming from the microphone and the laughters of children. :)

As I sat on the chair, observing my surroundings and having small chit-chats with Lai Fun about the mind (I couldn't miss the opportunity to learn more from my teacher!! ;p), I could feel the loving and easy energy surrounding the Home. It was truly blissful.

This camera man was filming the whole event, capturing the cherished moments of the day.

The volunteers and the kids were playing some Chicken, Dog & Cat game here after the dancing competition. I am guessing that the volunteers (the ones in t-shirt) had to sound like either a Chicken, Dog or Cat to coax the children to follow them to a certain chair in the open yard. The team that finishes first, wins. Navitha's team won. :)

The volunteers from LoveHeals laughing away...

Christmas pressies from the volunteers to the beautiful children at the Home.

The beautiful children of Siddharthan Home. :)

Everyone present were asked to play the 'Musical Chair' game, Lai Fun and myself included. I don't know about Lai Fun, but I felt pretty awkward because I've not played this game since I was a kid!! But I was surprised to find myself laughing away with the kids; even when I was out of the game! I was holding on to my camera, enjoying myself seeing the kids gleam with love, happiness and joyfulness!! Check out the happy faces of the kids below!!

See? Even Santa joined us in the game... See how happy the kids were?? They did not hesitate one bit to pose in front of the camera too!!!

And this young man, ladies and gentlemen, is Vasanthakumar. He is 3 years old and a darling who blessed me with a received opportunity to give him a Christmas present. So many times I had the urge to just grab him to hug him, but don't know why.. I didn't. Actually, I knew why.. I was just shy! Lols...

Lai Fun and I left before 12pm because I promised hubby to be home for lunch. After dropping Lai Fun home, I was thinking about the kids. I am so glad and grateful to have an opportunity to experience this. The kids were well-behaved, well-dressed and well-mannered. In the games, they really looked out for each other, especially the younger ones despite being in the game themselves! It was truly a warm sight. Navitha shared this with me during one of our short moments together, "The kids deserve the best that we could give them. We don't give them any second-hand stuffs." How very loving of Navitha and the rest of the volunteers... And this has really taught me something too! That these kids; orphaned, abandoned or disabled; are not smaller or weaker than our own children or even us; they deserve to give and receive love the way our children and we do. If we could love and nourish them without conditionality, then they too would grow up to be beautiful beings of Love and Hope.

Thank you, LoveHeals, for inviting me on this loving journey with you and allowing us to share our abundance with the kids. It has been an utterly loving and heartwarming experience... Love. :)

Winter Solstice Festival - 22 December 2009

This is an outdated update.. ;p but late, is always better than never, right?

Hubby and I took Thea to Gardens to watch The Princess and the Frog. Actually, it was supposed to be our pak-tor day, but we decided to bring the little one since it was still holidays and we didn't want to leave her home out of guilt. Lols! Before the movie, we had lunch at this Taiwanese restaurant at the Gardens. I can't remember what is the name of the restaurant though, but lunch was yummy yummy...

I ordered a popiah for lunch, prepared to share the leftovers from Thea's lunch. It was yummy!! One of the best popiahs I've ever tasted! I just lurvveeeeee popiahs!!!

Thea's lunch.

Thea enjoying and slurping her noodles away..

She kept saying, "hmm.. mommi, it's really delicious!!" Hubby and I were so proud that she was finally willing to feed herself instead of our usual spoon-feeding her.. Lols.

Hubby's lunch - some mee suah with piggy internals.

He said it was yummy too!! But I found it so-so only.

Stolen shot with Thea. :)

Forgot to mention. Before lunch arrived, we bumped into Jui Wan!! Erm, more like she saw us in the restaurant through the glass windows.. Lols. It was fun catching up with her for a while and I promised her to bring her to HaiSiang for their famous chicken rice soon!! Yum yum!!

We had to rush through lunch because the movie was almost starting. The movie was great, but during the scary parts of the movie Thea kept saying to me, "mommi, I want to go home.." She was really scared of the Shadow Man. Well, call me bad but I wasn't going to let our tickets go to waste so I kept on coaxing and soothing her.. Lols. We stayed till the end of the movie, but she was NOT happy.. Lols. So we decided to cheer her up with her favourite dessert - chocolate ice-cream!!

Where we had our ice-cream.

While we were enjoying our ice-cream treat, hubby bumped into his ex-colleague. Wah.. so many people not working that day, just like us!! Lols. Had a short chat before we left the place. And then we caught sight of this christmas tree along the way and Thea wanted to take pictures with it!

And then, I wanted US (hubby, Thea & I) to take a picture together with another christmas tree along the way... Lols.

Picture taken by a kind samatarian. :)

We got home at about 4ish for a brief rest before heading for dinner with my in-laws.

In the previous years, we've never really celebrated the Winter Solstice Festival with my in-laws despite it being said that this festival is even more important than CNY (please don't ask me why.. I am equally as blur... :{ ) because both my MIL and FIL were still working then. Now that my FIL has retired and my MIL is partically retired, they both have more time to prepare for dinner. My parents-in-laws are always like that.. they always give their best effort to ensure we have nice and delicious food whenever we go back to their place for dinner and I must say that they are really good chefs too! I always enjoy home-cooked dinner by them, with them! ;)

As usual, dinner is GOOD!!! Lols. We rested for a while before my FIL called upon all the ladies (i.e. my SIL, Thea, my maid & myself) to help my MIL to prepare the glutinous rice balls (dong yuen). MIL knows that Thea loves redbean, so the flavour for the dong yuen that night, was redbean.

Here's us helping my MIL at it. See the little one helping out too? She had loads of fun rolling the flour into mini-balls and we had loads of fun watching her!!

Multi-coloured dong yuen

Needless to say, the dong yuen with ginger soup was yummy too. It's the first time Thea tasted it and she loved it although she wasn't used to the texture of the dong yuen in the mouth initially. Lols. Luckily the ginger soup was not so spicy otherwise she might not have enjoyed it.

I am so grateful for this day... although it now 4 days after. I had a splendid day with hubby and Thea and a sumptious and wonderful dinner with my in-laws in the evening. What more could I ask for??? :)

Namaste.

Future Experiences = Past Experiences??

Do our future experiences equate to our past experiences?

Actually, our past experiences limit our future experiences. Try to answer this - Does a bad past experience makes you more weary of a future experience of the same thing? Likewise, does a good past experience makes you want to re-experience the same thing, but as you do, you end up feeling that each experience is actually different? Doesn't that kinda hint that each time we do something, whether we have done it before or not; regardless of the number of times that we have done it - each occasion when we do something is always a new experience! Actually, if we could practise that, our lives would be a brand new experience everyday. That is what it means when they say, 'Live each day anew' - and I can imagine that we would live our lives with joy, wonderment and awe each day! Isn't it wonderful? Well, only if we remember, that is.. Lols!

While Jer Lin and I were exchanging text about some past experiences, I received these new information which I'd like to share with you. It came to her, through me; so, it's also for me, and you. :)

"Each experience is of each own and independent by itself. To sum up all future experiences based on a past experience is only another form of self-betrayal."

Un? I absolutely love this statement. So divine and wise...

Thanks Jer Lin... for allowing this new information to come to us, through us, for us. :) Love ya!

The Final Anniversary & HaPpY cHrIsTmAs... :D

I received a text message at 8am in the morning. Actually, I was still asleep. Read it only at about 10am++. It was a message from Alina, wishing hubby and I happy anniversary (we had our ceremony and wedding reception on this day, 5 years ago). Believe it or not, I was SHOCKED!! I actually forgot!!!! :-o Thanks Alina, for your wishes and the reminder!!! ;p

I had a day filled with actitivities today - mostly Christmas related. The longest activity was lunch with Jer Lin at Bijou with our kids. Beautiful place, except that service was so-so. Maybe everyone was already in holiday mood. It IS Christmas Eve!!

I do have lots of entries to update... but you know la.. the seasonal stuffs and all.. people, pressies, parties, gatherings, food... just could not find the time and peace of mind to do it; but then again, who'd be interested in what's happening in my life save for myself.. lols! All my entries about my life basically only serves two main reaons: - No. (1) as a reminder to myself; No. (2) as an update to people whom I keep in touch with routinely so that I need not repeat myself again and again, like a broken recorder.. Lols!

Anyway, I do have another entry to post after this before the Christmas Eve day ends... New information!!

Happy Christmas EVERYONE!!

And oh ya... Happy Anniversary Baby... love ya, love ya, lova ya *muaks* :D

The Last of Weddings for Year 2009

After the previous entry, I solemnly declare that the wedding frenzies in my hologram is now OVER for year 2009.

Hubby and I did a rough calculation during the Shawn & Eva's wedding reception earlier on how many weddings we had attended this year alone.

Approximately 14!! Why I say approximately is because I am not sure if I had left out any. That's like on average more than 1 wedding event a month; to be precise (after doing a brief calculation via the calculator), it's 1.166 p/month! No, no.. I am not complaining.. it's fun! But on the other hand, I am glad that it is finally over... at least for year 2009... Lols.

Really, 14 wedding receptions (and this is excluding the hens night, the ceremony in the mornings, the registration ceremonies) in a year is seriously, no joke at all! Lols!

We are already anticipating Phua's wedding next year in Jan 2010. I can't wait for it in all honesty because it will be another fun night, but I'd like to have a break for now... (actually, come to think about it, there's no diff at all since it is only a few weeks more to come.. sighs...) Lols!

Night night!

Shawn & Eva's Union

I've just come back from one of the sweetest weddings. :)

Shawn & Eva

Shawn & Eva finally tied the knot yesterday. They had their registration at the garden of Eva's parents' home. The garden was beautifully decorated with flower balls hanging, artistic coloured branches, fresh flowers; all created by Eva's cousin. All their family members, relatives and closest friends were present to witness their solemn declaration to the commitment to themselves to each other.

And our little angel was honoured to be their flower girl. And I must say this, I am so very proud of her as she did so well. No fuss at all.. just smiles all the way, as if also giving her best wishes to her Uncle Shawn & Aunty Eva. :)

The whole event yesterday started at about approximately 5:30pm. Everyone was excited and so happy for them that after the registration ceremony, everyone wanted a part of them so it was quite hard for us to even present them our wishes. But it was understandable. It's their big day and everyone were as overwhelmed by their union like us so we decided that we would catch up with them one on one later. We left a little earlier.

And tonight, they had their wedding reception at Concorde KL. Food was absolutely delicious. The crowd was cozy and we were sitted with some friends that we knew. The whole event went so smoothly! So much of humour, laughter and love! Both their dads gave noble yet relaxed speeches. The maid of honour, Ee Mei (who is Eva's sister), and the best man, Rizal (who is Shawn's best friend) gave us the most touching speeches which left us nearly in tears (actually come to think about it, I think just only me) and roaring with laughters. It was a perfect night. Listening to Shawn's speech of thanks after that and his serenade to Eva (he conned Eva to sit on a high chair on stage and sang the song 'What a difference a day makes' to her) made the wedding reception the sweetest moment... I think Eva was so moved so that she teared a little. It was really a heartwarming sight. :)

I'd say that the wedding was fun and well-planned. Like what Uncle Toh (Shawn's dad) said in his speech, the energy and vibes in the ballroom was great. All family members, relatives and friends cheered on Shawn & Eva's union and had fun themselves. :)

I am too blessed to be present in this event - Shawn & Eva's union. Being able to witness such wonderful moments has brought much more sweetness in my life. It also reminds me of my own wedding night with hubby - our union - our own experiences heading towards our union, our ups and down during our union, and our everpresent commitment to ourselves and each other still, in this union; alongside with the never changing and ever encouraging blessings from those around us.

Thank you, Shawn & Eva, for having us be part of this celebration. Hubby, Thea and I truly appreciate both your presence in our lives; for having you both in our lives have definitely enriched our experiences in life... :) Here's wishing you both all happiness, blissfulness, lots of right understandings, strength, courage and persistence and most importantly, unconditional love in your journey with each other.

May God shine goodness, light and love always upon you two always; for that is what you bring forth to others in your presence, by just being you... Love you both always. :)

If - A self-composed song

If paradise awaits me beneath your arms

If paradise awaits me with all your love

If paradise awaits me with your love beneath your arms

then I'd come running, I promise, to be with you

If the birds would take me then I'd fly to you

If the wind would sing a song then I'm singing it to you

If love is like a movie screen, I know you'd come to me

to be with me, to hold me tight, forever in my dreams

But let's face reality, you're never gonna be with me

To hold me tight, to see me through, all through the years...

***

This was a song I wrote when I was 14 together with a best friend of mine, Aida. We loved to sing. She had a great voice and I remember always wishing at the back of my head, how I wish I had a beautiful voice just like hers, and that I could sing like her. We would always be singing during our tea breaks or lunch breaks. Other times, we'd just be chatting, laughing and talking about boys. Lols. Looking back the lyrics, a little childish; but remembering the tune made me feel a little proud to have composed such lovely tunes even at the age of 14! By the way, I still love to sing. :)

During my trip in HK, I received a text message from Aida saying that she had been thinking of me. Today, we finally had a chance to chat up over the phone. She revealed that for the past week, this song had been singing in her head and it reminded her of me... hence the text message. I was truly touched. We promised to catch up after the New Year when our days are not so hectic due to the season greetings. Lols. It will be another great catch up with a friend I've not bonded for years...

Thanks Aida. Looking forward already. :)

An Inspiration - Photography

This has been nudging me since the time I got home from HK. Just feel not satisfied that I hadn't been able to capture the beautiful night sights of HK. Feel inspired to just hop on the plane to HK, take pictures and come back the next day. Actually, I could do that... I've got ID90 (meaning, discounted flight tickets)!!

However, however... Commitments, commitments, commitments... straight on until nearly new year... then I saw myself soothing myself, "nebermind, nebermind... how about near-near, just Genting? or that Cheras place that Gladys and Alina went?" then, then... "huh? but I don't know how to go to the Cheras hill top wor..." furthermore, knowing what I scardy cat I am... no way would I dare to take the trip up by myself; and risk myself getting lost along the way!! "So Genting la..." hmm, interesting.. can consider, can consider... then, "go alone or go with someone ar? if go with someone, go with who ar?? go with hubby ar? but he'd be bored stiff!! He doesn't really like Genting.. how about Angeline.. yeah yeah.. can ask her... eh, going out with her tomorrow, maybe can go up to Genting after dinner? but eh wait, public holiday wor... jam or not ar?? and then if really jadi, then next morning can wake up early to sent Thea for ballet class or not arr??" HRMF!!!! See? See? Doubts, doubts, doubts; buts, buts, buts... grrrrrr.....

Ah well, come what may... am sure hubby will understand if he'd find me MIA for a day or two with a note "Baby, went to HK. will be back tomorrow night.. " Lols.

We'll see... ;p

A New 'Friend'

Today is Thea's last holiday class at TT, SP. Took the opportunity to meet up with Florence to pass her Christmas presents for her kids. Last year, we did not meet up with each other and I had to pass the kids' pressies through Terri so I made a mental note that this year, I would pass the gifts to her personally.

Actually, I never thought of Florence and I, as close. We were close in a group though - we used to hang out in a group; but on a personal basis, we don't catch up with each other one on one besides the occasional chats on MSN. When I brought my breakfast tray to the table, she asked me, "eh, why you buy so many drinks one?" (I bought a kopi-o and a glass of hot barley) I blurted, "we are going to be here for a long time right, until 12:30pm? So might as well just buy the drinks first so no need to go buy again in case I get thirsty later on."

This experience with Florence was truly something. We talked alot!! I've never really felt close to her before, but we chatted just about whatever that came to mind. Until it was nearly time to go, she expressed something that really warmed my heart. She explained that she never thought of me as her friend. I was either so-and-so's friend, or another so-and so's friend, or something like that; and never really her friend. I was surprised! This was somewhat a true reflection of my inner state sometimes when I hung out with certain friends - "she is their friend, not mine.." Lols. So, this bonding time we had today, also our first one-on-one session made her feel that we ought to catch up more often! I was truly touched by that statement. I took the opportunity to also express my shame for not taking the previous effort to get to know her better.  Also explained that I kinda dislike to inconvenient myself to catch up with friends. It's just too much trouble, at least for me. However, when I do catch up with friends, it's because I really want to, regardless the conditions. :) Guess what, she shared the same sentiment!  :) We had loads of exchanging information about each other to each other, and also in expressing appreciation for each other's company.

It was very funny when she shared how worried she got when I said that we were going to sit till 12:30pm and that I had bought 2 drinks to fill those hours as, she didn't know if she could hold out a conversation/outing with me for so long!! Lols! I burst out laughing and assured her that even if she couldn't, I would be able to because I talk a lot!! Lols! But we each had our fair share of sharing of yaking and talking. Lols! She's really very nice and comfortable to be with. I totally enjoyed myself!! :)

I guess with her now no longer working (she has recently quit her job to fully take care of her darlings), there would be more opportunities to catch up with her. I realised that I appreciate time spent alone with friends for connecting and bonding purposes rather than in a big group. Of course, a get-together-in-a-group is fun too; but I guess it's different when we are trying to pay attention to someone.

Thank you Flo, for sharing your moments with me today. And, not FFK-ing me today too... ;p I hope you had a great time too. :)

An Anniversary Outing

Nevermind that we just came back from Hong Kong. Today, hubby and I went for facial together. It was pre-planned months ago - and part of the plan included was dinner and kai-kai (walk-walk in cantonese) after dinner. :)

We had dinner at Pasta de Gohan in Pyramid. We had a tough time picking what we wanted to eat because we were hungry and everything looked delicious! So I settled for something more vege-like, and he settled for something very blackish. Turned out delicious anyway! We were so full that we decided to wait for dessert. So we walked around Pyramid. We wanted to scout around for either a PSP or a NDS (Nintendo DS) for the little girl. Figured that it would be a good idea to get her a portable one since she is always hogging either hubby's phone to play the golf game, my phone to play the fish game or Bee's phone to play the whatever game. Sometimes, she hogs mom's phone to play the Smack-It game too; and that ALL results in us missing our calls or text messages!! Believe it or not, she could manipulate the phone in ways that we, adults find impossible!! Nevertheless, we decided to wait a little longer to see if Thea's 'wind' would change direction. Lols!

Hubby was so sweet, he bought a few stuffs for me. He decided that I needed to increase my wardrobe variety because I have absolutely boring clothes. He said this, "honey, you seriously have a problem because everytime we wanna go out, you can't find anything to wear because you have limited choices; where else for me, it's like I have so many choices that I don't know which to pick to wear!!" Hmph, show-off!! bah!! Lols. But if not for this mentality of his, I wouldn't have new blouses today!! Whooooppeeeeee..... Lols.

By the way, we decided to skip desert. We were still very full by the time we left Pyramid.

Anyway, gotta go now. Although we didn't go anything much today, but just like I've said before - anytime spent with him, is special anyway. :)

Night2!

A Wedding Luncheon at Big River (Sungai Besar)

Parts of Sungai Besar

I was briefed that Big River (Sungai Besar) is a fishing village somewhere in Selangor. Our families (meaning my in-laws and us) were invited to attend my MIL's nephew's wedding luncheon at Big River 2 Sundays ago. I never thought much about the trip, except that I would have fun with my in laws heading outstation together. :)

It was only about 2 hours drive along the coastal road. Darling hubby drove while Thea and I sat behind. We were supposed to ride with Jay Lyn and Siang but our guardian angel (the maid) needed a day off so I took Thea along with us, already anticipating how the trip would turn out to have Thea travel with us. Indeed, fun but not too relaxed albeit in a car.

The wedding luncheong was set at 3pm. This is the first time ever being invited to a wedding luncheon at such a time. Usually lunch is at 11am, 12pm or 1pm right? but 3pm!! this was my first time! Lols. We arrived at the groom's house at about 2pm. Talked and ate a little before proceeding to the restaurant.

When I arrived at the restaurant, I wasn't one bit surprised by the outlook of the restaurant. Right here in Klang Valley, restaurant dinners are air-conditioned. But this place was not. The only ventilation were fans and sliding doors. Right outside the restaurant (meaning within the restaurant but outdoors) were like some evening hawker stalls.

The layout of the restaurant

Believe it or not, people are actually punctual!! By 3:15pm, the restaurant was already full, only awaiting the presence of the bride & groom and their families. The luncheon officially started at 3:30pm. Early huh?

First dish served. Very very unique food.

This was everyone's favourite at the table.

Because it was about 3-4pm, weather was extremely hot. So the people at the restaurant actually showered water with hose I think on the roof to cool the indoors of the restaurants.

I know it is an old tactic, but I thought it was brilliant!!
Can you see the water dripping from the roof?

I didn't capture the rest of the dishes served because I didn't think they were anything to shout about.

But dessert, was pretty interesting...

They serve ice-cream in cubes!!! together with tooth-picks!!!

Absolutely yummy!!!

The luncheon ended as punctually as it started - 5:30pm. So we left at about 5:35pm. Traffic back home was horrendous since it was a Sunday and we guessed that people from the village were heading back to the city for work the next day. Hubby told me that most people in the village head out to town/city to look for work for a better future.

Although the drive back was slow, but the scenary along the way was a sight. Neat padi fields along the coastal roads, the kampung houses and the rivers running alongside the houses. It's beautiful. :)

But... I would never do this again... I find it too tiring. In fact, I came home sick with fever on the same day itself. Thank God hubby assured that all his cousins who are from the village are all married... phew! ;p

Hong Kong, Hong Kong!

Am finally back from a 4D3N trip in Hong Kong. Being back here made the past few days feel like a dream. In fact, I am still in a dreamy state.. Lols.

We woke up really early on Saturday morning, about 3am to be precise and took a drive to LCCT with our luggages. Check-in was pretty fast and the fella at the check-in counter asked me, "erm, check in for 3?" I replied yes. He continued, "and only 1 lugguge?!?" Lols. Yes, I've heard! 4 days + 1 luggage is not enough! Little did he know that we packed another foldable bag in the check-in bag! Lols!

We indulged in a pre-breakfast at Dunkin' Donuts prior calling time. Nope, not delicious; but they did well in filling our little rumbling tummies! ;p Thea was absolutely excited! Imagine, at 6am in the morning and she was jumping around!!

When we arrived in Hong Kong, we took this bus by this company Vigor. Cost us HK600 for a round trip for 3 of us. I thought it was pretty expensive but hubby explained that in Hong Kong, stuffs are pretty expensive (seriously, then why everybody tell me that Hong Kong is CHEAP?!?!?!? :-o ). Anyway, by the time we arrived at the hotel, there were a swarm of people. The hotel was busy but luckily check-in was quick and our room was already ready despite our early arrival. The minute we put our bags in the room, we left for a proper breakfast; or rather, more like brunch at a local diner. Food was absolutely LOVELY!!!!! albeit a little pricey for my standards. Ah well, Hong Kong mah... To our (hubby & I) surprise, Thea absolutely loved the food too! Otherwise, she must have been R-E-A-L-L-Y hungry!!

We walked around A-LOT!! Went back to the room about tea time for Thea to nap a little and to have her milk. Showered and left for dinner. This was mainly our routine for our 3 days there, including our trip up to Disneyland the next day. While I didn't mind one bit about this, hubby was complaining all the time because he wanted to walk about the city some more when our little darling needed her nap. Lols. It was cute seeing him fuss.

Disneyland was really an awesome experience for the three of us which we visited on our 2nd day in Hong Kong. Ok, more like for Thea and I. We walked around and for the rides that we thought were suitable for Thea, we went on it anyway without consulting her. Lols. We even watched a theatrical show which I enjoyed very much. I was moved to tears watching the performers bring life to the famous disney characters. Unfortunately, food there was not very appertising. I hardly ate and poor Thea only had rice. The chicken sucked too. :( Because Thea was getting tired, and hubby wanted to go back to the city to look-see look-see, we left Disneyland at about 3-4pm. We were there since 10:30am. ;p Thea slept the minute we got onto the train. She must have been really tired.

The 3rd day was spent walking around the city and shopping. I wouldn't say that shopping in Hong Kong is so enticingly cheap, but choices available are definitely encouraging. Imagine, we were walking around sooooo much that hubby and I were sharing that our legs, feet and toes ached, but the little girl made no complaint. Even when I repeatedly asked her if her legs were tired, aching or painful. She just shook her head and happily skipped along with us.

One thing about toilets in Hong Kong. I abosutely respect the cleanliness and the consideration provided. Sanitizer for the toilet seats itself and clean floors. Maybe it's the places that I visit, I don't know; but there is always one or two cleaners on standby cleaning the cubicles each time a person finishes their business. It's really impressive. So one thing is for sure, I would visit Hong Kong again with Thea; even if it's just for shopping purposes... Lols.

Not to forget about the food! Yum! Yum! Although we didn't get to patronise all that we had planned to, but visits to the Macau Cafe (twice), BLT Restaurant (this is actually a western cruisine), the local diner (can't remember the name of the restaurant), a Shanghainese restaurant that my HK friends - Mark, Irene & Sarah brought us to, this dessert shop; save for the notorious chicken rice in Disneyland; it's a thumbs up! I would go to HK just to EAT!!! Lols.

Christmas decorations were absolutely beautiful too. Too bad I didn't bring the 500D. I wanted to. But decided against it since Thea would be with us. It would be unwise to carry too many loads while traveling with Thea. However, I made a mental note to return some day with the 500D to capture the scenic nights filled with beautiful lights. Oooooh yes, how could I forget, we also took the ferry from Central back to Tsim Sha Tsui. The ferry ride was cheap, windy and fun! Plus, it is only a short 10-minute ride!

I guess a beautiful experience that accompanies my 1st time in Hong Kong is the rekindrance with my friends whom I had not met in 11 years - Mark, Irene & Sarah. Mark & Sarah were my classmates when I was studying Foundation Level at La Trobe University in Melbourne, Australia. Irene is Mark's wife, whom I also met in Melbourne. It was really great being able to catch up with each other face-to-face again after all these years besides through FB. The funny thing was, Mark kept asking me if I ate Pork, if I had tried Shanghainese food before and etc etc as if thinking, just because I am a Malaysian, I am a Malay. I reminded him that I am a Malaysian Chinese and that Malaysia comprises of many races. We are multicultural. I guess it's hard for them to grasp unless they live here. Mark & Irene were so kind. They accompanied us from the train ride from Causeway Bay (there's where we had dinner by the way) all the way to Central, and accompanied us further during the ferry ride from Central to Tsim Sha Tsui. Yeah, that's how it was possible. I think if they'd left it up to us to figure out our way for the ferry ride, we would have ended up taking the train or a taxi back to the hotel! Lols. The best part was, Thea absolutely adored the both of them!

I had a great time. Hubby is already plannnig our next trip next year. Lols. I can't wait.

Thank you, Mark, Irene & Sarah for taking the time to meet up with us. It's truly wonderful being able to reconnect again! Looking forward to see you in Malaysia next time round!!!

Ah... I love Hong Kong already... :D

New Moon Round II

Would it be absurb to say that I enjoyed 'New Moon' more this time round? :/

Met up with Terri for this one. We set a date to watch the movie on the Tuesday that we met for lunch. It's been a long time since I've watched a movie with Terri, and since we both wanted to watch 'New Moon' again, there we were last night, at Pavillion. Lols.

Just before I left for Pavillion, I stopped by the bank. There, I met a friend (a housewife with 4 kids). She said hi, I said hi; she walked away, and just as I was about to turn my back I caught a glimpse of something in her hand - Eclipse (the 3rd book of the Twilight Series). I shouted to her "wei, good book you've got there!!", she laughed as she heard me and shouted back, "Ya! it's my 3rd time reading it!". Lols. I cracked at the thought of how this Twilight frenzy is actually getting around, especially to housewives like us! And we think that because we are 30 or 40 something (in age, I mean), we are suppose to be like reading more matured materials?!? Lols.

Terri & I were just teasing each other about being in Team Jacob or Team Edward when I bump into an old college friend, Kah Mun while lining up to buy drinks before the movie. He was at the cinema too but not watching 'New Moon' but 'Storm Raiders' instead, I think. He was just shaking his head when I told him that this was our second time watching 'New Moon'. Guess he couldn't understand the Twilight Frenzies going around too.. Lols.

Ah... no need to explain in detail how I "awwww...." when Edward Cullen smiled, and how Terri "oooooohhhhhh...." when Jacob Black took of his shirt. Lols. It was great fun! After the movie, we had a short session of discussion on how nice if some parts of the books were included in the movie and a little about life over a cup of tea at Starbucks.

By the time I got home, hubby was not happy. He was upset that I was back at 1130pm. Lols. I was really curious about him being upset so after my shower I teasingly asked him, "baby, are you upset because you miss me; or because you are jealous that I get to go out and you don't?" He whined! Lols... I think it's a little bit of both.. Lols. So, he insist that he will be going out tonight.. Lols. My pleasure!! ;D

Hot! Hot! Hot!

I've not been feeling well since the time I came back from Big River (Sungai Besar), my MIL's hometown. Was there for a wedding luncheon at 3pm on Sunday and on the way home, I already felt funny. The same night, fever visited, but for a short while and then the next morning, tonsilitis (did I spelled this correct? :{ ).

I drank lots of water. But I guess not enough. Because if it was enough, I would get better. And I did get better, and worst, and better, and worst; like a roller coaster ride. Jon was too kind. He gave me some herbs to double-boiled which I dilligently did for the past 2 days. Today, the maid forgot. Shucks. So I made do with just Chorofil, a bottle of green stuff that Jon also gave me. He said the combination of the herbs and Chorofil work miracles. Ok, it did.. but I guess the heat within me must be to an undetainable limit! I was just feeling better 2 days ago and today, I feel that fever has come back to visit, AGAIN! Argh...

No sweat. Fever is a small issue. Tonight's date is IMPORTANT!!! Can't miss it! No way, hose! Will be there, definitely! Hmm... perhaps I would drop by the chinese herbal shop to drink bitter tea before heading to my date. Lols. Would definitely not miss seeing them again. It's silly lah - they'd be out in DVD soon anyway.. still, the screen is bigger tonight mah.. Lols.

Round 2 for New Moon tonight! :D

Chef Alina & the rest of the stretched day...

*hats off to Alina*

Boy, can she cook! Although this isn't the first time I've tasted her cooking, I still literally drooled just by looking at the dishes! They were absolutely delicious!!

I was at her place with Thea this afternoon for lunch. Shamelessly invited myself over for lunch since she was still on holiday, plus Thea and I wanted to pass Caitlin her Christmas present. I know, I know, it is a little early... but I figured that once Alina started working next week, coupled with some upcoming weddings and stuffs that is already starting to flood my diary, I doubt that we'd have the time to chat up with each other one-on-one anytime soon. She is the busy career woman; and I am the busy housewife! Lols.

She cooked her famous Cottage Pie, and Penne with Chicken Ala King sauce. She explained that she normally cook her Chicken Ala King with buttered rice, but she prepared penne for us instead. Was nice anyway, and Thea being a fussy eater, came back for more! She loved it! It thrilled me! :)

After lunch, while watching the girls play and watch tv, we sitted ourselves comfortably on her big ass sofa and started chatting about stuffs. Mainly about careers. It was an interesting chat. Alina is my only friend amongst the rest who'd share her career experiences with me. And this is one topic that we could dwell on for a long time each time we start. Now, I kinda know her boss, her job descriptions, her colleagues, her ex-colleagues and all.. Lols. Really an eye-opener for me, especially since I had so long retired from the industry. Lols!

It was about 4pm when I decided that it was time to go. Adorable Caitlin kept shaking her head and said, "no aunty, no chea chea", meaning she doesn't want us to go home. Awww... touched me! Now I know how other people feel when Thea shakes her head and said, "No, I don't want you to go home". We waited out for another half hour or so since Thea insisted that she wanted to finish watching the 'Little Einstein' episod before we finally left. Caitlin was really cute. She was climbing up her gate... Lols. She is absolutely cute and adorable. I don't think I could ever get bored of her expressions. I was just so mused watching her, oh ya.. watching Alina AND her TOGETHER!! Lols..

Met An & Lee at Taipan on the way to pass them a little something before heading home... Promised to get together soon for the kids to play. :)

Met Kok Fai & his lovely family, Melanie (wife) and Daniel (son) for dinner and had a great time laughing... This couple is just one of the funniest couple I've ever met... So blessed to be in their presence. And guess what, they went home after dinner to shower and then came over to our place again. Lols. It's nice to have friends living nearby (They stay 3 minutes from my home). :)

Ah, such a wonderfully stretched day today. A little tired now, but absolutely love it! :D

La..De..Dum... Shopping... Shopping...

Planned lunch with Terri today since last week. Knowing my erratic timetable, better plan ahead. Lols. Also, an excuse for me to take a drive to Pavillion to get a few stuffs; one of the most important, hubby's Anniversay & Christmas present. Thank God our Anniversary is spread out across the whole month of December and not just a 'date', so that gives me time to think, think, ahem... or rather, feel what to get for him. An inspiration came last week, after I've made plans with Terri, so the plan to carry out the 'mission' after lunch with Terri. Lols.

Lunch was perfect. She looked great, and she said I looked great too! Such wonderful reflection.. lols. I teased her that it could be because she was missing me *winks*. Lols. We accompanied each other after lunch to do some shopping while she still had time. It was really nice. I remember the last time we walked so casually and freely a few years ago was when we were both single. We 'shopped' at Taipan because it was near to her house and also cheaper. Lols. So, although we were shopping at Pavillion today, it felt like the good old days - comfy. Nevermind the 'atas' or 'bawah' feel of the gifts we bought for our loved ones, we bought what we wanted to because we were inspired to do so as a token of appreciation for our loved ones. :)

I spent almost another hour at Pavillion all by myself after Terri left for work. Fun man... walking here and there, buying this and that... Lols. And by the time I left Pavillion, it was only about 3pm. I noted the joy within as I drove out of the car park and headed home. I still feel it now, as I am typing away. :D

Now, I am excited. I am waiting for hubby to come home so that I could ask him if he wants his gift now, or later. Too bad, it's gonna be an Anniversary cum Christmas gift.. Lols. But I am sure he will love it anyway!

Thanks Terri, for the wonderful lunch and a short-shopping-spree moment. I loved every moment of it. Can't wait for our next date already!! :)

Power of Forgiveness

Alice forwarded me this. It touched her, so she decided to share with others. It touched me, so I am now sharing it with you...

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Dr. Arun Gandhi, grandson of Mahatma Gandhi and founder of the M.K. Gandhi Institute for Non-violence, in his June 9 lecture at the University of Puerto Rico, shared the following story as an example of "non-violence in parenting":

"I was 16 years old and living with my parents at the institute my grandfather had founded 18 miles outside of Durban, South Africa, in the middle of the sugar plantations. We were deep in the country and had no neighbours, so my two sisters and I would always look forward to going to town to visit friends or go to the movies.

One day, my father asked me to drive him to town for an all-day conference, and I jumped at the chance. Since I was going to town, my mother gave me a list of groceries she needed and, since I had all day in town, my father asked me to take care of several pending chores, such as getting the car serviced. When I dropped my father off that morning, he said, 'I will meet you here at 5:00pm, and we will go home together."

After hurriedly completing my choires, I went straight to the nearest movie threatre. I got so engrossed in a John Wayne double-fearture that I forgot the time. It was 5:30pm before I remembered. By the time I ran to the garage and got the car and hurried to where my father was waiting for me, it was almost 6:00pm.

He anxiously asked me, 'Why were you late?' I was so ashamed of telling him I was watching a John Wayne weatern movie that I said, 'The car wasn't ready, so I had to wait', not realizing that he had already called the garage. When he caught me in the lie, he said: 'There is something wrong in the way I brought you up that didn't give you the confidence to tell me the truth. In order to figure out where I went wrong with you, I'm going to walk home 18 miles and think about it.'

So, dressed in his suit and dress shoes, he began to walk home in the dark on mostly unpaved, unlit roads. I couldn't leave him, so for five-and-a-half hours I drove behind him, watching my father go through this agony for a stupid lie that I uttered. I decided then and there that I was never going to lie again.

I often think about that episod and wonder, if he had punished me the way we punish our children, whether I would have learned a lesson at all. I don't think so. I would have suffered the punishment and gone on doing the same thing. But this single non-violent action was so powerful that it is still as if it happened yesterday. That is the power of non-violence."

"Forgiveness is giving up my right to hate you for hurting me."

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Namaste.

An Anniversary :)

6 years ago on this date - 5th December 2003. That's the date we met. Technically, today, being the 6th anniversary of our 'know-each-other' date is not at a complete cycle yet because we were only introduced at about 10-11pm. And it is only 615pm according to my laptop clock. Lols.

Flowers received today to mark our 6th anniversay. Pretty huh?

We never really did anything on this date all these years, because we got married the following year in the same month. So we just celebrated our matrimonial date - either the registration or ceremonial date. To us, or at least to me, it was all the same because it was all in the month of December, just difference in dates; which is why I am surprised to receive flowers today! I guess he wanted to surprise me, so surprised I am! Lols!

We did nothing 'special' today - but did our usual routine as we would if he was around - spending time with each other either alone, or with Thea. Time spent like these are already special on any day, as long as it's spent together - whether we talked alot or kept silence in each other's presence. It's comforting, sweetness and love. :)

It's wonderful how despite the ups and downs, we stand side by side each other, supporting and loving each other. Albeit there are times where we (ok, ok, mostly me) feel that we are bounded by limitations, but when we managed to surface from the darkness to light, the unconditionality prevails. Today, our relationship is more meaningful to me because we have grown so much with each other, yet independantly - supporting each other's life journey whether in ways of open discussions, or hurtful disagreements. I remember telling some of my friends this before, "as long as you love, don't let go; unless it is peace that you feel when you let go". Although disagreements, temptations or fights sometimes cannot be avoided in a relationship and residuals of such may linger further at times, as long as we are willing to take responsibility for our own hurt, the miracles sort of unfolds by itself. I've experienced it. This is my evident.

I am thankful and grateful that I am blessed with a wonderful hubby. When I tear down my old ideas of how my husband 'should' be, and finally see him for who he is, I find that this old hubby that I married, is a new hubby to me almost everyday - allowing me to witness and learn new qualities about myself through him and vice versa. We are binded together in a way, yet free... Come to think of it, it is quite a gift!

When we wished each other 'Happy Anniversary' earlier and kissed each other, Thea looked at us curiously and asked us why we kissed each other. Hubby said, "It's our anniversary, Thea." And she said again, "anniversary??" Hubby explained, "It's the day that mommi and dada became friends!" Thea want, "Orrrrrr... I see....". Lols. Don't know what would be running in her mind.. lols.

Yes, we became friends and the friendship deepened. Until today, although we are labeled as husband and wife by law, he is indeed my very best friend; an all-rounder who is willing to play the hero and the enemy; the teacher and student; the observer and the observed; the reminder to always love and accept myself and of course, the man who loves me so.

I am indeed blessed. Thank you hubby, for loving me so; and for being in the Game with me *winks* I love you very very much. :)