Friday, January 30, 2009

His Birthday - Cozy, Cozy.

Hubby & I at HaiSiang Kopitiam, Puchong
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His first celebration was last night with his family. Dinner was superb as usual because my in laws are just excellent cooks. My MIL even baked him a birthday cake! Too bad I didn't bring my camera so I couldn't take pictures of the occasion, but it was certainly cozy and comfortable, with my FIL, MIL, Jay Lyn, Siang, Thea and Sukanah around. Oh yes, I must mention this, my MIL's baking skills has really improved. The cake was yummy and not sweet at all! Delicious!!

Sorry I can't share much about this event because I was quite "high" from lack of sleep due to catching up with the Heroes Series the day before yesterday, and yesterday itself. :( But it was truly a warm night filled with love, being surrounded by family. It was a lovely night.
Well, tonight is really special too. I planned it all out with help from my dear friends, Adrian & Elly. I told Elly that it was Jason's birthday and that I would like to have dinner at their Kopitiam and have Adrian cooked. If I had not mentioned, Adrian cooks the best western food!

We started out our journey to HaiSiang at about 6:50pm. He had absolutely no idea where I was bringing him for dinner. I just told him to dress comfortably and leave the rest to me. :) I told him that I had to go to Citibank first to do some banking and since we were in Puchong, we will go to HaiSiang to pai-nin with Elly & Adrian. He still did not suspect anything. By the time we arrived at HaiSiang, he was literally shocked that we were going to have dinner there! Haha.. the look on his face, I wish I had it on camera! Anyway, it was until when we decided where we wanted to sit; Adrian came over to set the table up for us like this: -

Pretty romantic for a kopitiam huh?


He cooked up a storm for us in the following order: -


Salad


Appetizer: Grilled zucchinis, yellow zucchinis and carrots - yummy!

Adrian called this a light main course, whatever that means: Fish & Chips

The apparently Heavy Main Course: Beef Stew with Mashed Potatoes

Followed by,

I had absolutely no idea about the "I Love You" on the birthday cake, but then again, what the heck! haha...

And here's a picture of the lovely and talented chefs & owners of HaiSiang who made it all happen,

Elly, little Abby & Adrian
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Hubby actually commented in the midst of the dinner that this was indeed one of the best birthday dinners he has ever had because he has never celebrated his birthday in a kopitiam before and the food was absolutely fantastic! It was truly authentic. I agreed with him that it was pretty special because we were actually enjoying such a well dished up dinner at our very own friends' kopitiam cooked by themselves! How good can it get!

Thank you so much, Elly & Adrian. We truly truly had a great time and enjoyed the food immensely. The whole table set up with candles were also lovely. It is truly a night to be remembered and it wouldn't have been so perfect if not for you two beautiful cooking angels. :)

For the rest of you who wants to try out food and drinks at HaiSiang Kopitiam, the location is in Bandar Puteri Puchong. It is the same row as Citibank Puchong Branch, opposite Giant and right next to Old Town. Believe it or not, it is better than Old Town. Food and drinks are not only excellent, but their services are so personalised. They know nearly all their customers by names! Anyway, if you do indeed to pay them a visit, you must, you must try their chicken rice which is only served on Fridays, Saturdays, Sundays & Public Holidays.

As for my hubby - May all of your manifestations come true!! *winks* Happy Birthday!!

Heroes Season I

Believe it or not, I finished the whole season in 2.5 days. If not for certain activities that I had to attend to, I would have finished it in 1.5 - 2 days.
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Amazing amazing series! I've heard some friends talked about it, but never really got about it. I told hubby to get me the series some months back and refused to watched it until I am sure I had absolutely nothing to do.
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Actually, there is nothing to really blog about this.. just for the fact that I am quite amazed at myself for watching such series! I am not a bummer, no. But somehow, this series just got me GLUED to the TV! The exact sentiment when I watched Desperate Housewives Season 1 & 2. Well, actually, a bit different because with Desperate Housewives, I could still take a toilet break without having to pause the damn series; stop the CD to go out and etc.. With Heroes, I was just absolutely glued and when I am out, I actually consciously contemplated if I should turn back to continue watching it! Absolutely absurd.. haha.. but I love it.
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Now that I have finished Season 1, I am seriously considering if I should get Season 2 & 3. Hubby, being supportive as ever said, "Get la!" hahaha.. and it's not like he sits down and watches the series with me! Haha!
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Anyway, it's quite fun. I can't wait to catch up on the rest to see how the special people save the world! Boy, such a great mission!! :P

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

DaWongz


This is almost all the family members of DaWongz.
(Only missing is our Uncle Tom, Aunty Chloe & her 2 daughters in Singapore & cousin Andrew)
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When I first met Jason, meeting his family members were quite overwhelming. It was not nervousness out of meeting such a big crowd, but more of their simplicity that I wasn't used to. You see, I came from a family that is deemed simple, but actually; not so simple. It's complicated.. and really, also a little too complicated to explain here and if I do, it would deviate from the main topic of this entry.
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They were all very simple people. Their gatherings were mainly at home with home cooked food because it was not only healthier, but also thriftier. Now I came from a family who always preferred to eat outside. To me, it's a real a hassle cooking so I always thought it would be more convenient and easier eating outside. But each time, the experience of eating out with them is somehow.. I don't know.. just not the same. It was like, eating home was better; and everyone had a chance to catch up with each other and laugh together. Hanging out more with DaWongz has indeed brought more sense to me of what a family and home is.
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The whole of them are very understanding and nice people. They don't judge or say anything when you can't make it to a dinner gathering with them; even when they know that the reason why you don't turn up is because your hubby isn't there, and you'd feel left out there. And the very next time you turn up, they never fail to welcome you in their warmest way. It's a true family.
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To add on, I believe the only person, who may be the actual reason why everyone gathers together is Jason's grandmother; whom we all refer to as Ma-Ma. She is 90+ and is still going strong. She is almost the quietest amongst us all. Although I think she hardly understands English, she would just sit amongst us to listen to our conversation (mainly in English) just to be present with us. A gem indeed. May she blessed with good health and longevity.
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I've come to appreciate being part of DaWongz. I've come to appreciate each and every one of them and the gifts that they bring to the family. The old, the young, the married and singles. They are all different individuals that bring laughter to the family each time we all gather and meet.
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I am proud to be part of this family. There is an immense gratefulness. I don't know how to explain it. There are more that I could write about this family, but then my words to describe each and every one of them may not bring about justice to their wonderful presence in my life.
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I guess the reason why I chose to write an entry about DaWongz is because I want to introduce them to you; those who read my blog. Because they are now my family too; and I love them so.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Almost Done.

Yes, I am almost done preparing for CNY. Although I kinda overslept this morning, but time was on my side. I did everything that I had to do for the house, i.e. clean the altar, wash and re-energise my crystals, place them accordingly to the fengshui directives and etc. I even got stuffs ready for tonight's prayers and tomorrow's pai-nin stuffs - so that there is no need to rush tonight or tomorrow. Hubby was really sweet too, when I told him to wake up to help me, he woke up immediately without hesitation. :)
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Why I decided to blog an entry today is because, well... it is almost over, CNY eve I mean; I only need to get a few things later when little princess takes her nap; and this is my break time. ;D Other than that, guardian angel said something to me which I found quite funny in the midst of her cooking. She said, "Ma'am, today you very busy hor?" I looked at her, blurred that such comment could even come out of her! Haha! No, I wasn't angry or anything like that and I am quite sure she knows me better now to be offended by things like that. I was just shocked by 2 things: -
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1) She felt such ease with me, which is really good news to me.
2) By her statement, that meant that I was literally WORKING today!! haha!
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No, it's not that serious. It's just that most days, she sees me either out, in front of the TV or laptop, reading, playing with Thea or talking to hubby. She hardly ever saw me lift my finger to wipe or clean anything! Haha! I jokingly told her that she shouldn't be teasing me and should be more encouraging to me! She laughed, nodded her head and said, "yes ma'am, it's good!" and gave me a smile. Anyway, I gave her assurance that I would only do this ONCE a year.. haha!
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Afraid that she'd climb on top of my head? Nah. I trust that she wouldn't. In fact, I don't even want to label her as my domestic servant because I don't see her any lower than me. I see her as equal and she does all the work that I am suppose to do in exchange for shelter, clothing, food and money; which spiritually, is just an exchange of energy. And I am so blessed and fortunate that she does it better than me. Really! I couldn't get Thea to take her medication and she was like, "Ma'am, leave it to me." And as I trustfully did, so many times she managed to "con" Thea to taking her medication! She is good.. haha.. and thank Heavens for a guardian angel like her!
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Ok, it's going to be 3pm soon. I really ought to get going to get the remaining stuffs to usher in the Moo-Moo year. Oh, did I mention, I love the CNY song they are playing on PHDC...
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"Clarabelle is in the house, happy moo-moo year... " hahaha.. so creative, so catchy and Thea loves it too!
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Happy Moo-Moo year to all! May you and your loved ones be blessed with love, happiness, joy, peace, good health, prosperity and lots of moments of right understanding. Blessed We Are.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

2 Days before CNY

Today is the eve of CNY eve. The weather is hot, and I am not done with cleaning. To make things worst, little princess is sick. She vomited 3 times thus far and her fever is not too friendly to me. She refused to take her medication and each time we use force, she willingly throws out everything that she has eaten before. Bad.
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To think that tomorrow is the eve and the day after is CNY is already sending me the chills. The only thing that I am looking forward to is the 2nd day of CNY where hubby's friends will be coming over, and the 6th day of CNY, where I'd meet up with my old college friends. Other than that.. CNY, BAH! HUMBUG!
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Nothing to do with the money, the prayers or anything like that.. just the intensity of things lining up one by one which has to be fulfilled not by the free will. CNY, BAH! HUMBUG!
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Gosh, such resistance! But at least I am now more truthful to myself about what I don't like rather than suppressing it and giving myself 101 better reasons why I SHOULD lurve CNY!
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Still, I know. I have to work at it. Not to let the mind swing like a pendulum from an extreme right/left to the extreme left/right; but to stay just still, right at the middle...
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Yes, the middle path - there's where apparently peace is. So I heard.

59.7kg (13th November 2008) - 57.55kg (24th January 2009)

Yup. Progress again. I lost 2.15kg todate from the last time I weighed myself since 2 months 2 days ago on the 13th November 2008. It's strange that each time I weigh myself, it would be at my daughter's doctor's clinic... tsk tsk tsk.
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She was having fever since last night so I took her to the doctor this morning. After consultation and while waiting for the dispense of medicine, I decided to help myself to the weighing machine just next to the reception counter. Hmm... 57.55 kg. Happy. :)
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I think I am absolutely entering into the vanity zone. I got so excited that I took out my calculator and started punching the difference, divided by how many months, how many days - calculating how many grams or kgs I'd have lost in the span of this period. Amazing.. hahaa.. and I did not even go to the gym for the whole month of December and the whole of last week due to the school holidays and the CNY preparations! And I must say this, I am actually able to wear some of my pre-marital and pre-prenancy clothes!! Every year, when I pack up old clothes to give away, they were mostly clothes that I could not fit in anymore; but this year, the clothes that I mostly gave away were clothes were that too loose or too big for me! Although I did feel a bit "sayang", but heck, no way am I going back to that size!! I want to look good, stay good and feeeeeeeeel good!!!
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I guess eating the right food and the right quantity does make a difference. I remember in my last entry, my target was 54kg and my new year resolution was 51kg. Ok, I'll take it slow. Work towards 54kg first, then the 51kg will follow. I have 11 months to work at it. Kudos to me! :)

Friday, January 23, 2009

The Goose is Out by Osho

Beloved Osho,
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Yes, Osho, yes. There is no more bottle, no more You, no more I. only this drunken joy that makes my toes curl in ecstacy. But, Osho... what was the joke?
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Yoga Lalita, the ultimate joke, the only joke... The official, Riko, once asked Nansen to explain to him the old problem of the goose in the bottle.
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"If a man puts a gosling into a bottle," said Riko, "and feeds him until he is full-grown, how can the man get the goose out without killing it or breaking the bottle?"
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Nansen gave a great clap with his hands and shouted, "Riko!"
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"Yes, Master," said the official with a start.
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"See," said Nansen, "the goose is out"
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This is the only ultimate joke in existence. You are enlightened! You are buddhas, pretending not to be, pretending to be somebody else. And my whole work here is to expose you.
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See, Lalita, the goose is out! You will make every effort to put it back into the bottle, because once the goose is out then you don't have any problems. And man knows only how to live with problems, he does not know how to live without problems, so he goes on putting the goose back into the bottle.
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There is a beautiful story of Rabindranath Tagore.
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He says: I was searching for God for thousands of lives. I saw him... sometimes far away, close to a distant star. I rushed. By the time I had reached there he had gone further ahead. It went on and on. Finally I arrived at a door, and on the door there was a signboard: "This is the house where God lives" - Lao Tzu House!
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Rabindranath says, I became very worried for the first time. I became very troubled. Trembling, I went up the stairs. I was just going to knock on the door and suddenly, in a flash, I saw the whole point. If I knock on the door and God opens the door, then what? Then everything is finished - my journeys, my pilgrimages, my great adventures, my philosophy, my poetry, all my longings of the heart - all is finished! It will be suicide.
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"Seeing the point so crystal clear," Rabindranath says, "I removed my shoes from my feet, because going back down might create some noise - he might open the door! Then what? And from the moment I reached the bottom of the steps I have not looked back. Since then I have been running and running for thousands of years. I am still searching for God, although now I know where he lives. So I only have to avoid that Lao Tzu House and I can go on searching for him everywhere else. There is no fear... but I have to avoid that house. That house haunts me! I remember it perfectly. If by chance I accidentally enter that house, then all is finished.
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It is a beautiful insight.
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Man lives in problems, man lives in misery. To live without problems, to live without misery, needs real courage.
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I have lived without any problems for twenty-five years, and I know it is a kind of suicide. I simply go on sitting in my room doing nothing. There is nothing to do!
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If you can allow so much silence to penetrate your very being, only then you will be able to leave the goose out of the bottle. Otherwise, for a moment maybe... and then again you will push the goose back into the bottle. That gives you some occupation; it keeps you occupied, keeps you concerned, worried, anxious. The moment there are no problems there is no mind. The moment there are no problems there is no ego. The ego and the mind can exist only in the turmoil of problems.
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As I see it, man creates problems to nourish his ego. If there are not real problems he will invent them. But he is bound to invent them, otherwise his mind cannot function anymore.
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So, Lalita, this is my simple declaration: that all is divine. The trees and the rocks and the stones and the mountains and the stars - all are divine. The goose has never been in the bottle. it is only the man who cannot live without problems who forces the goose back into the bottle; and then he starts asking how to get it out. And then he makes impossible conditions: first, the bottle should not be broken, the goose should not be killed.
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Now the goose is big, it fills the whole bottle. It is impossible to fulfil the conditions. Either the bottle has to be broken - that is not allowed; or the goose has to be killed - that is not allowed. You have to bring the goose out without killing it and without destroying the bottle. That is not possible, in the very nature of things. Aes dhmmo sanantano: this is how life's law is, it is not possible. So man remains happy because it is not possible, so he can go on carrying the bottle.
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I see Lalita carrying the bottle with the goose... But the truth is that the bottle is only your imagination, fantasy, just made of the same stuff that dreams are made of.
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This is the most difficult thing for humanity to accept. Hence, so much opposition to me - because I am telling you that you are gods, that you are buddhas, that there is no other God than you. That is the most difficult thing to accept. You would like to be a sinner, you would like to be guilty, you would like to be thrown into hell; but you cannot accept that you are a buddha, an awakened one, because then all problems are solved. And when problems are solved, you start disappearing. And to disappear into the whole is the only thing of worth, is the only thing of any significance.
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What I am telling to you is not a teaching. This place is a device - this is a buddhafield. I have to take away things which you don't have, and I have to give you things which you already have. You need not be grateful to me at all because I am not giving you anything new. I am simply helping you to remember. You have forgotten the language of your being.
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I have come to recognize it: I have remembered myself. And since the day I remembered myself I have been in a strange situation: I feel compassion for you, and deep down I also giggle at you, because you are not really in trouble. You don't need compassion, you need hammering! You need to be hit hard on the head! Your suffering is bogus. Ecstacy is your very nature.
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You are truth.
You are love.
You are bliss.
You are freedom.
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Enough for today.
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- An excerpt from The Goose is Out by Osho -

Mystery & the Mind

Mystery and mind cannot exist together; they are not, by their very nature, co-existential. Just like darkness and light: you cannot have both in your room. If you want darkness you have to extinguish the light; if you want light that you have to lose darkness. You can only have one, for the simple reason that the presence of light is the absence of darkness, the presence of darkness is the absence of light; they are not two things, in fact. The same phenomenon, present, is light; absent, is darkness. Now you cannot manage both, to be present and absent together.
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Mind is the presence of the non-mysterious, the logical, and meditation is the presence of the mysterious, the miraculous.
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Hence, move from the mind. Let art, poetry, painting, dancing become more important - they will bring you close to meditation - and finally take the plunge. If you have tasted something of poetry you will gather enough courage to take the ultimate plunge.
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Time consists of two tenses, not three. The present is not part of time; the past is time, the future is time. The present is the pentration of the beyond into the world of time.
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Time conceived of as part and future is the language of the mind - and the mind can only create problems, it knows no solutions. All the problems that humanity is burdened with are the mind's inventions. Existence is a mystery, not a problem. It has not to be solved, it has to be lived.
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People are trying to play the game of life but with many conditions. and those conditions prevent them. Life is a beautiful game if you don't have conditions to it. If you can simply plunge into it with no ifs, with no buts, then there is no need for enlightment.
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What is actually meant by enlightenment? - a relaxed, restful approach to life, a deep synchronicity with existence, an egoless communion with the whole.
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- Excerpts from The Goose is Out by Osho -

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Rushing, Rushing, Rushing

Gosh... I don't even know how to begin this. I don't know if I am looking forward to CNY, or just simply wishing that it is all over to end this misery.
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It seems as if I am rushing... there is like, so much to do, and yet the time is not yet here to do it. If I do it too early, then it might be redundant. If I do it late, then it will be just as it is - LATE! Arghhhh....
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Maybe it is just me. Just anxious to get everything in order. I have also come to realised that I am the kind of person who, when there are things to do, I can't sleep, sit, stand or just be still. It's like I am always rushing, rushing and rushing... rushing to get things all done... just can't wait for it to be ALL DONE!
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Maybe I am scared too. That I'd forget this, or that.. and then make everything imperfect... ahhhh... that's it! I must be afraid of being imperfect. Gosh, there I was, living in my imperfections and being at peace with it, and now I am not! What a total 180 degrees swing!
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And just the other day, mom was saying how lucky I was that I don't need to literally clean my house with my bare hands (because of guardian angel ;D) and here I am, having lists of things to do swimming around in my head! Arghhh... I hate the feeling.
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I want to tidy up the study room, i.e. move Thea's toys up to her room, and yet.. there are no shelves in her room. I want to start moving all the feng shui stuffs to its destined place for the coming lunar year, and yet I am afraid it is too early. I want to clean/wipe my altar and re-energise my crystals and yet I am afraid if I do it too early, then it might collect dust again. I want to buy vegetables and yet, I am afraid that the vegetables might not last till CNY. Planning, planning, planning... rushing, rushing, rushing...
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*Taking a deep breath and blowing out*
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Have I planned enough? Did I miss out anything? Just seems so much to do... yet so little time... or is it that time is passing so slowly that I have ample time that I am scared that when it pass me by, I'd not realised it resulting in me missing out a thing or two? Worry, worry, worry...
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Calm down, calm down... I must be fine and it will be all over soon...

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Progression, Procrastination, Progession

Have you ever wondered about your progress in life? How does it make you feel, when you start reading someone's blog, or while chatting with someone; you inevitably find out another friend of yours was say, learning to drive; cooking; taking up a new hobby and doing really well in it and etc?
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Does it make you happy for that person? Or does it make you surprise? Or perhaps, make you reflect on yourself how others are progressing in their lives, improving and empowering themselves while you seem to be stuck right where you are?
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For example, losing weight. You'd tell yourself, "argh.. will do that after the 2nd or 3rd or 4th child." or "argh... next month first la" and etc. And then one day, when you attend a gathering, you'd find that one of your friends, who had given birth to more children than you, much later than you; had lost weight and nearly back to her pre-pregnancy weight. And you can't resist but look at yourself in the mirror.. gosh.. the bulges.. do they ever go away?
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Or... when you are a housewife, thinking that what you do now is for the family - mending the house and etc; when in fact, there is a maid already present - doing all that a housewife is supposed to do. And then you read someone's blog, that a friend is starting work in a new place with bigger pay checks, greater benefits, better career path; or a friend learning to cook, or to bake; you start questioning yourself, "geez... what am I doing? I don't clean, I don't bathe or feed the children, the dogs or for that matter, even the fish! And I definitely don't cook! OMG!!!!!!" And then you wonder, are you really wasting your life away? And then you tell yourself, "hmm.. maybe I will start doing this and that to be more useful.. but wait, I don't have the resources.. so maybe later.." and then the whole procrastination process starts again.
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Am I a victim? haha.. by writing this blog, it certainly seems as if I am putting myself as one! Amazing! But what do I really want? Seeing the people around me progressing.. really, it is great and I am truly happy for them... but it also reflects back to me the question of, "Am I too progressing like them?" Hah! Caught you! Thought of comparison!! Shame on you!!
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Again, it is truly shameful? Nah.. it is just a thought.. see how my mind battles within itself to complicated and entertain me? hahaha!
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Anyway, yes... I have progressed. I may not have progressed in my career; my cleaning; cooking; bathing and feeding the child (because I am already an expert in this though I do admit my lack of patience in the latter ;p) and etc... but I have indeed progressed in the inner space within me. First things first, I have come to accept more of myself; the good, the bad, the beautiful and ugly. Not yet fully... but the qualities are emerging slowly and I am embracing them; one by one. This is indeed my latest progress.
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And I've also progressed in my relationship with hubby and some others. It has not only gotten better but it has brought a lot of understanding and awareness to me that we need not have the same character, the same interests, the same whatever... to love and to respect one another. The freedom to grow is one of the best gifts you could ever give a partner, a family member, a friend or even a child. That is how I have progressed thus far.
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I am indeed still learning. And this progress is my own to behold, to experience. Although sometimes uneasy feelings surface, I have also learnt to embrace them; because those uneasy feelings also teaches me a thing or two that I have not yet reflect deeply in my life.
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Thank you for the cycle of progression, procrastination, and progression... :)

Solemn Declaration - FAILED

Yes, I failed.
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2 days ago, I had reunion dinner with my mom. Chow brought 4 bottles of wine and he was like, "huh, serious arr.. I brought 4 bottles of wine wor.. how to finish if you don't drink?" and my mom added, "ya lah.. now what festival... you fast drinking some other time la.. " when I said I am not drinking for a month. :/
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So... I gave in. Not because of what they said, but more because of the peace of the decision to do so. I figured if I didn't drink, it would cause discomfort for everyone and then guilt in myself; so I decided to be "compassionate" and "kind" to myself rather than to hold on to my integrity of not drinking for the month just for this night.
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Did I beat myself up for it? DEFINITELY NOT! I enjoyed myself immensely and it was not because of the wine. It was because of the company during dinner. We talked and laughed. It was truly joyful.
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And the effects after the wine was - I experienced bloatedness in my body and calmness in the midst of blurness in my mind. Don't understand? Hehe.. neither do I. I was just being aware of my physical, mental and emotional state. I was peaceful. :)

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Baked Chicken Drumsticks


I did this ALL by myself!!!
(except for cleaning of chicken drumsticks & cutting of broccoli)
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Yup! I did it again. I got into the mood this morning and told hubby that we should have roast chicken for dinner. He smiled and said ok. Now, this is usually his speciality; but today, I took over. I ransacked nearly all the recipe books that I had and picked one which required all the ingredients I already have at home! Haha! Oh yes, the recipe said "baked" but I roasted instead. Hmm.. this I must admit was my mistake because I kept on thinking I wanted to roast, so I roasted instead of baked.
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And...
It turned out well. Oh yes, I did it all by myself except for the cleaning of chicken drumsticks and the cutting of broccoli. Was busy doing something else then.. ;p
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I marinated the chicken at approximately 3:45-4:00pm, cut the potatoes and carrots, cleaned up the sink and left. :)
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The Result: -
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  • Thea loves it. :)
  • Hubby - don't know yet because we have not eaten our dinner because he is outside talking to his boss. But then again, I'm sure I'd pass the test when it comes to him because he always praises me whenever I cook. I know, I know... comment not reliable, but hey, I need encouragement right? Maybe he is afraid that I won't cook for him anymore! haha!
  • Myself - taste is good.. though I do find it a little dry (I stole a bite from Thea). Next time, I should try to "bake" rather than "roast". Haha!

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Anyway, here's the recipe - especially for An. :)

Ingredients
6 pieces of chicken drumsticks (I only used 3)
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Seasoning
1 tbsp chopped garlic (I used 1 tbsp)
1 1/2 tsp salt (I used 1/2)
1 1/2 tsp dried rosemary (I used 1 tsp)
1 tsp paprika (1 used 1/2 tsp)
1/2 tsp ground black pepper (I used 1/3)
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1 tbsp olive oil or corn oil
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Method
1. Combine chicken drumsticks with seasoning and marinate for at least 3-4 hours.
2. Line a baking tray with foil. Arrange drumsticks on tray.
3. Sprinkle olive oil all over the drumsticks.
4. Bake in a pre-heated oven at 220C for 30-35 minutes or until cooked.
5. Remove, serve baked drumsticks with whatever... (I served with home made french fries and blanched broccoli and carrots which I also made myself :))
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Considering my standard in cooking... Yeah, I am quite proud of myself. Are you proud of me too? ;D
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Friday, January 16, 2009

A little about Anger

Consider this:
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"Anger simply shows fear. Remember always: anger is fear standing on its head. It is always fear that hides behind anger; fear is the other side of anger. Whenever you become afraid, the only way to hide the fear is to be angry because fear will expose you. Anger will create a curtain around you; you can hide behind anger."
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- an excerpt from The Goose is Out, authored by Osho -
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Is this really how you want to really live your life? To use anger to hide fear? Or to brave the fear, face the truth and be healed?

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Tempted

Tonight, or rather last night (since it is now 2:51am), we went over to Siang's place for dinner. The invitation came in slightly after lunch and I graciously accepted. It is fun hanging out with them (as in my SIL and Siang) somehow.
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When we got there, Siang already started drinking. Hubby joined him. I declined politely because of my solemn declaration made some time ago. Somehow, I felt a slight urge to drink. I resisted.
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After dinner, Siang opened another bottle.. and when hubby put his glass of wine in front of me.. I tell you, it was really like testing me! I was amazed myself because the urge to take a sip or a glass was so strong!! My brother and SIL think that it shouldn't be hard for me since I don't normally drink anyway.. but see what the mind did to me when I made a declaration that I wouldn't drink for a month? I end up craving for it as if I am addicted to it! Which in fact, is NOT a fact!
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Then why did I feel the urge? And you know, by typing this entry now, the urge is like surfacing again! This is truly a test to my will power! and you know what, if I can do this; I might be able to quit smoking too!!! haha!! Gladys was just complaining that day - to quit smoking is one thing that I failed miserably every year! haha!!
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Anyway, yes.. I was very tempted, and still... but am resisting and will continue to resist the urge until 2nd February. Nope, there is no count down to that day also. If it happens, it will happen.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Nature.

It was many days ago that I seem to have noticed its beauty. It's peculiar, because I've never really stopped to look. And yet, when I actually made a conscious effort to be mindful about my thoughts, feelings & bodily reactions, I started to notice how beautiful nature really is.
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It started out when I was driving out of the guard house of my home this one day. When I looked straight ahead I saw the skies... so beautifully blended in light blue colour with some orange streaks. The sight was so beautiful and I wondered to myself, how come I never noticed it before that such beautiful skies were just right in front of me; and not in some beaches or ports or countries. I was so thankful to have eyes to witness such a sight, and gave my thanks to the Universe for making this world to beautiful. I stopped a moment to enjoy the sight, and even as I drove off, that scene was in my mind.
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Some days after that, the usual smoke-after-lunch routine. I was sitting at my car porch, facing my garden. A bird that was flying across the sky which caught my attention somehow; and again, another awesome awesome sight... Light blue skies... with white streaks of cloud.. some clouds were forming its shapes; elephants, trumpets, whatever...; the wind blew and weather was cooling... I smiled at such beautiful sight and noticed the peace in me.
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Another day. I called Terri. I was not in peace that day and I wanted to vent, but somehow nothing came out of it. And then I realised, that I just wanted to hear her voice, to soothe my guilt. It was raining. She was indeed on the line, but we did not speak. My eyes stared straight at the direction of my pond; and I noticed... the surface of the water in my pond as the raindrops came in contact with it. Each raindrop formed a circle when it touched the water of the pond and then disappeared almost instantly; and the many many raindrops that did that, made it so complete and beautiful. And then I noticed, that the sound of the pitter-patters... it was soothing as well... and the raindrops that hit my pebble-washed car porch... hmm... nice... and I asked Terri, "have you ever see how beautiful it is? The raindrops on a puddle of water, the synchronised sounds of the thunders and the rain, the pitter-patters.. and how they hit the ground..." She replied, "no... but one day, I will stop and see." I smiled. We hung up after that. There was really nothing to say. Just presence felt and a realisation that sometimes, not everything needs to be said.
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Last night, the moon was so round and beautiful with trails of airplant jets; one above it, and the other below. I couldn't resist and wanted to take a picture of it, but my camera could not handle its beauty. I quickly called Angeline who didn't pick up the phone; and T2 who answered the phone to share the beauty I saw. T2 said that there was a chinese saying that when you see such a sight, it is a message from God - to leave the past when its suppose to be; the past, and look ahead. Thank you T2, for the message.
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Today, I was having coffee with hubby at SaiBao, this almost new coffee joint in KK. It was drizzling. While he was talking on the phone, I noticed a sparrow. It was bathing itself in a puddle of water accumulated by the rain on an uneven walk way. I smiled again. It was beautiful.. so many many beautiful faces of nature, and yet we take it for granted, chasing things that we deemed mattered too much to us. We'd blame the uneven walk way if we'd ever trip on it... but without it, how could the little sparrow clean its feathers and beak?
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I've never really appreciated nature as it is. Or whatever, as it is. Now I begin to understand a little more of what Tuck Loon meant by "Peace is when we see what is, is."
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Here's hoping that you will begin to find the little joys nature brings to us, everyday... Thank you, dear Universe... for allowing these experiences through my willingness to see beauty...
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Blessed We Are.

Friday, January 9, 2009

Result of cooking adventure

It's 6.46pm. I just had my dinner.
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Taste is alright. Only that the pork is hard.
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Anyone wants to give me pointers?????????? :<

Fried Preserved Zha Choy With Pork Belly


Congratulations to me. :)
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I took the first step in cooking since the guardian angel (Sukanah a.k.a. the maid known in earthly terms) came on board. ;p
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Since hubby's official transfer back to KL on 5 January, I shared with him that we should actually start cooking some pork in the house since there is now an additional person in the house (which is him). We don't usually cook pork because when hubby was working in JB, there is only 2 adults and 1 kid; so we cook whatever we could finish (angel is muslim). The only pork that we might have consumed at home was when my dear MIL cooked a sumptious meal and there are leftovers; or when she came over to stay. Other times when hubby is actually home on his off days, we would be eating out.
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Terri and Gladys suggested that I should really start working on my cooking resolution. A bit of resistent there... hmm.... I just think I am not gifted in this area.. and both of them said simultaneously, "try lah.. otherwise you'll never know.." hmm.. ok... wait first...
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That was on Tuesday night.
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On Wednesday morning, I surprised myself by walking to the kitchen shelf to pick up some recipe books and thought to myself; if I should cook, I'd really like to cook pork since Sukanah doesn't cook pork. Not that she doesn't know how to; and she cooks really well, mind you... Just that I thought I should give it a go! And there I went... grocery shopping and planning for my cooking adventure which was TODAY!!!
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Coming back to the present. When I checked back on the recipe, I realised that I didn't get everything in order which led me out to the mini market again this afternoon. Coincidently (or is it Divine order?), Sukanah said that she had a list that she wanted me to buy as well.. and trust me, I didn't know anything that was written on that list... such as candlenuts, ginger root, turmeric, tamarind and etc... I mean, I knew that they were some spices and nuts stuffs, but I didn't know what they really looked like. Thank God she translated them to malay which made it easier for me to ask the ladies at the mini market.
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So I got everything. And the best part was, I learnt what was ginger root (lengkuas), candlenuts (buah keras), turmeric (kunyit), tamarind (assam jawa) and etc.. Cool! Not bad for my first day huh! When I came back, I went to Sukanah to thank her for introducing me to what seemingly were "alien language" to me before. :) Now I know. :) So proud of myself!!! *pat on the shoulder*
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So I started cooking (Sukanah helped prepared the slicing and the cutting). And I am so proud of myself of the result that I took a picture of it.. hehehe.. it didn't look like it was not edible!!! HOORAY!!!!!! hahahhaa.... and of course, the next test is.... is it delicious? and will all of us get a tummyache after that... :{
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Call or text me, and I will tell you ok? *winks*

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Presence to the Child

Last night, I made a realisation through Angeline's sharing of her experience with Kelly. As I probed her to reflect on what Kelly was trying to show her the quality that she herself (as in Angeline) has within, it suddenly dawn on me that Thea was telling me the same.
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Remember my entry about yesterday being the first day of school and that Thea never really tells me anything that happens in school even if I ask? And it was other kids' parent who shares with me how clever my daughter was? Honestly, nothing striked me then.... until the sharing with Angeline during supper after the meditation class.
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Kelly hardly shares anything that happened in school with Angeline too. Thea's the same, she never shared anything that happened in school with me. And mind you, we do ask. I thought nothing of it, that it is ok if she doesn't want to share her space.. but then again, which child doesn't want to share his or her experiences with his or her parents; especially when Thea is so attached to me? Actually, not possible... unless she was trying to tell me something about me.
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Angeline concluded that Kelly did not want Angeline's presence in her life; which is not what I saw. I saw that Kelly was reflecting what Angeline was doing to Kelly. Angeline was always physically there with Kelly and Joey; and same as me, I am always physically with Thea, but not present to Thea. Thea can be asking me to take this for her, put that for her, do this for her, read that to her, and yet... it is either I do it half-heartedly, or I tell her to go look for her kakak! And children, being sensitive to our energies and state of being can naturally sense our intentions at that moment in time. She picked up that I was not interested to be in her presence, her space; hence she hardly tells me about anything that happens to her.
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And then the next question pops up - do I want her to share her experiences, thoughts and space with me? Doggone it, OF COURSE!!! So I started out this morning (when I got home last night, she was already sleeping), I made conscious effort to be in her presence; accepting her presence in mine too. 1 example, before we went for class this morning, she told me that she wanted to feed the fish in the aquarium and told me to join her. Usually, I would have just called out my favourite word at home "KAKAK!!!!!!!!", but I smiled and said ok. I took her little hand, walked to the aquarium, carried her up and together with her, held the bottle of fish food and sprinkled the fish food to the only pathetic fish in the aquarium. She was really happy. After that, it was time to go for class. After class, I asked her the same question as I would everytime she went for class, "how was class today and what did you do?". Not expecting any answer, and very very pleasantly surprised, she answered "Bunion walk"!! Although that was all she said, and I didn't really know what that was but hey, it is indeed a start!! And on the way back home, we talked about how she preferred the white coco-crunch compared to the chocolate ones eventhough she ate the chocolate ones first. Hmm.. a similar trait like me.. I like to finish what I don't like first then slowly savour what I like... hehehe.. And then she asked me if she could watch Strawberry Shortcake (AGAIN!). I said yes and offered to watch with her. She smiled all the way home... And true enough, when Strawberry Shortcake was on (AGAIN!), she called out to me (I was in the study room checking mails), "mommi, come! come!! see! see!" I rushed out immediately excitedly and sat down beside her to watch the series (AGAIN!). The (AGAIN!) implies that we have watched this over a thousand times... sighs...
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It is tremendously beautiful at this moment. And I am so thankful for the company that I am in, and the energies that surrounding me. They constantly remind me of what I need to know or reflect so that I don't miss out on anything; or rather, the simple joys of life...
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And thank you Angel & Kelly... for this beautiful lesson too... :)

Monday, January 5, 2009

1st day at school & gym

Today is 5th January 2009 and it is the first day of school for schooling children. Thea initially was reluctant to wake up from bed until I reminded her all her friends at TT was waiting for her at class. She quickly got up and got herself ready. She was really excited.
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Her being first day at school after a long break, was also my first day at gym after her long break. Because I had been away from the exercise regime for quite some time, I decided to take this first day slow by attending the Core & Stretch Class by Tomas. This instructor will be leaving soon and all the tai-tais at the gym just simply love his class. Although I find some of his classes quite hard to follow but I must admit that I had fun too.
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After class & gym, we headed to Sheraton Subang to have dim sum lunch with my cousin from Australia, Jillian, whom I had not met for ages! Boy, had she grown!! I was so glad to see her! Although time was short of us catching up more on each other, I was really fortunate to be able to have a meal with her to find out about her latest updates.
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Don't ask me how Thea's class went because she never tells me even if I ask. But there was this lady who asked me which was my child when I was standing outside her class waiting for her to finish. When I revealed, she smiled happily and said, "oohhh... Thea!! She is really clever!!" I was amazed and asked "really??". She explained that Thea would help the "aunties" (actually the teachers at TT) to paste clouds on the board! Honestly, I have absolutely no idea what she was talking about, but I guess if other parents notice it, then my little princess must be clever! hehehe..
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Today is not only Thea's first day at school and my first day at gym. Tonight (which is still today ;p) will also be my first Mindfulness Meditation class at Clove&Clive. I just can't wait!! And to my pleasant surprise, I found out that Penny, Ms Ang and Mr Siew will also be joining us in class. It will definitely be a beautiful class with the presence of loving beings.

Sunday, January 4, 2009

The Book Exchange @ Clove&Clive

Today is truly a plesant day. I got up early this morning and headed to Centrepoint to meet Jer Lin for brunch at Pizza Uno. It was great being able to catch up and share both our thoughts, feelings, experiences and knowledge on the vast subjects that we talked about. She suggested that she will come over to my place on Wednesday, which I am grateful because the forgetful me forgot to pass her some of Thea's clothes for Kierstan and Tristan's birthday present which was meant to be passed to her since ages ago!! After lunch, I headed to Angel Caster to get the 2 deck of oracle cards that I had meant to get for 2 Earth Angels - Annie and T2.
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I arrived at Clove&Clive slightly past 2pm. We were all seated and guided to share our gratitude for year 2008. It was seriously like another CM's course. People started crying and I wept too. Before it was my turn to speak, I was so ready for a lengthy gratitude talk. However, when it was my turn (as I was weeping away with gratitude), my gratitude "speech" turned out to be short and sweet.
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We "partied" a little when it was makan time. Mamma Mia was playing. Some people were laughing away, some chatting away and some, observed others with peace and love. I was doing all of those, while snapping pictures away with my camera which was running out of battery. It was truly a beautiful session.
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After the makan time, we all sat down and took turns to take numbers, from a transparent fish bowl to "pick" our destined book for the day. Angeline was joking that if she picked my book, she would roll on the floor 3 times! Swee Leng added that it had to be naked!! We were all really looking forward to that scene... and fortunately for her, she didn't pick my book! Haha!
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I picked a book written by Paulo Coelho. I can't remember the title of the book because I exchanged it with Angeline who picked the book, The Alchemist, also written by Paulo Coelho. We exchanged the book because Angeline already own the same book which she picked so we decided to exchange it. Angeline suggested that after we have both finished reading the book in hand, she will hand me back the book which I initially picked as it was meant for me too.
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Tuck Loon ended the session with another round of thanksgiving for our efforts to be present at the event which made the event possible. Some of us stayed back for some card reading session. I left at about 5ish.
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Clove&Clive has indeed showed me much. I am so thankful and grateful to the Universe for making my meeting with Tuck Loon again possible, and for Lai Fun's invitation to join them on their weekly meditation sitting. I calculated back and it had only been 3 months since my involvement there and somehow I feel that I have been there since its conception, which was 3 years ago. It is truly like being HOME, and a few others share the same sentiment. I shared with Angeline this, and with the rest of them today during my gratitude "speech", that "kewujudan saya di-confirm oleh Clove&Clive".
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With gratitude, to Clove&Clive and all the wonderful beings' presence there. I love you.

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Solemn Declaration

This was supposed to be posted yesterday. Although I wasn't very busy yesterday, don't know why I never got about posting it. Hmm... and yet I had posted something else, right? Hmm.. could be resistance.. haha.. but no bother, am going to do it anyway.
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So...
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I hereby solemnly declare that I shall not consume any kinds of alcohol of any amount for period starting 2nd January 2009 to 1st February 2009 for any purposes or whatsoever. Nevertheless, food or desserts knowned for its recipes being cooked with alcohol, is acceptable.
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Reason: TL told me once, to stop drinking as it messes up my chakras. Although I don't already drink much, I am conscious of that fact. I realised that each time after I drink, especially more than 1 glass, my body systems messes up. Yeah, I do have a great time drinking, but it takes a few days after for my body systems to be functioning normally again. Not that I get hangovers or anything like that, my body just works very strangely after a night of alcohol. TL invited me to not drink for a month, so to observe what happens to me. I decided to take up the challenge hence this declaration to all. :)
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So, why the period stated? hehehe.. because 2nd February is hubby's birthday. I can make an exception for him. :)

Friday, January 2, 2009

Love Heals

I got this email greeting in my spam folder. I suspect that it was sent by Navithar of IRAH. I find it quite inspiring, hence the decision to share it with all of you... Blessed You Are.
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When the power of LOVE overcomes the love of power
the world will know peace...
May LOVE shine bright in your heart
as you become a Light for others.
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Love Heals
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LOVE MAKES IT HAPPEN
~~~

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Abundance

Its Meaning & Miracle

Both Thunder and Lightning come;
The image of Abundance.
The superior man gives without reservation and thus
Receives without limitation.

Life will continue to give to you in the measure which you give to others. Only if you hold back, will the flow of abundance begin to deplete. Give for the sake of giving and not in order ot get something back. A truly warm and generous heart will bring its own rewards.
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May you be blessed and rewarded with abundance as a result of selfless and sincere giving.
~~~

2009

It is now 4:37am. Yes, I am awake. I did sleep, but when hubby came back and required me to open the door for him; I am now having difficulty going back to sleep. Hopefully, after this entry, I will actually be tired enough to go back to sleep so that I could be alert enough for my new year breakfast with the gals.
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2008 ended with maggi mee as my last meal. We got back from Clove&Clive at about 11ish and I was hungry as I had an early dinner at 5pm. So as I finished my meal and watched AOD, hubby called to wish me happy new year! And it was then that I realised, time had crossed over to year 2009.
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It was really very ordinary, and yet quite special. Don't know why, it's like there was no need for a great party or gathering or any event to make it special. Just being exactly where I was, be it lying down texting or replying new year messages, or reading the encyclopedia to Thea was perfectly where I was supposed to be. Somewhat special in a weird way.
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A new year always starts off with a resolution. It's pretty sad that some people think that resolutions are a waste of time and don't work just because almost 90% of people don't do or follow up with it. Maybe it is time to have a resolution that you will actually do or follow up with? Or perhaps, if it was the wordings that somehow gave you an excuse not to achieve your resolutions, then perhaps change it (like what my dear ah neh, Mesh suggested) to a "To Do" list instead! Anything that would encourage you or kick your butt to achieve it! Because that is what you wanted in the first place and you do deserve every right to achieve it as long as you put efforts into it.
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According to the Oxford dictionary, "Resolution" means the quality of being resolute or firm; determination; a firm decision to do or not to do something. There, that explains it. If you are not firm about something, then don't list it down as your new year resolution. Similarly, if you are determined and firm about something that you wish to do, then list it down as a resolution! Simple!
Anyway, just to share. My new year resolutions for year 2008 and my achievements in relation to each and every one of them :-
  1. To learn how to cook / bake one dish per month - it worked for a few months, but I lost interest because I realised that I didn't really enjoy cooking as a chore.
  2. To exercise at least half hour every two days - it worked for the 1st week of year 2008 but I eventually stopped because of certain reasons (which of course should not be used as excuses). But hey, I joined a gym in October 08 and go to the gym at least thrice a week from then on (ok ok, except for month of December because Thea didn't have classes)! Thumbs up for me!
  3. Spend more quality time with Thea - actually, this really shouldn't be a resolution but something that I should be doing sincerely from my heart, naturally.
  4. Spend alone time with Jay Sheng at least once a month - yes, this is quite consistent.
  5. Decorate my kitchen - I can't blame anyone but myself for not being creative. But I am proud to say that my kitchen is still in neat order. :)
  6. To buy myself a branded handbag worth more than RM1,000 - Does getting a branded bag worth RM3,000+ as a birthday gift count?
  7. Get pregnant by December 2008 - I would like to reserve my comments on this.

For year 2009, I have decided to have 2 lists. A new year vision and a new year resolution/"to do" list.

New Year Vision for Year 2009

  1. To learn how to entirely trust myself
  2. To honour and respect myself in all aspects
  3. To love myself more and to accept myself in areas I have not done so
  4. To forgive myself when I have allowed myself to be dishonest, a victim or in any unpleasant/uneasy feeling or situation
  5. To do what I want to do, when I want to; contrary to doing out of obligation and/or fear

New Year Resolution/To-do List for Year 2009

  1. To bring the orphanage project into fruition
  2. To lose weight healthily to 51kg
  3. To read at least 6 books of any kind
  4. To visit Kuching either alone or with Ming Yen
  5. To arrange a boating trip with either family/friends/orphanage (see who gets lucky!)
  6. To learn to cook/bake 1 dish and 1 dessert well (yes, only 1 of each in the entire year; anything more than that will be a bonus! ;p)
  7. To allocate time for a self-retreat at least once a year

There, easy to achieve targets; hah! or so I think. Difficult or easy, I guess it all depends on me. And I choose every possibility of achievement with love, wisdom, light and gratitude.

Happy 2009, everyone! May this year render upon you all beautiful opportunities of your dreams come true. Here's wishing you materialisation of your manifestations which brings joy, love, peace and light to yourself and those around you.

Just me. :) Peace out. (at least for now)