Last night, I made a realisation through Angeline's sharing of her experience with Kelly. As I probed her to reflect on what Kelly was trying to show her the quality that she herself (as in Angeline) has within, it suddenly dawn on me that Thea was telling me the same.
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Remember my entry about yesterday being the first day of school and that Thea never really tells me anything that happens in school even if I ask? And it was other kids' parent who shares with me how clever my daughter was? Honestly, nothing striked me then.... until the sharing with Angeline during supper after the meditation class.
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Kelly hardly shares anything that happened in school with Angeline too. Thea's the same, she never shared anything that happened in school with me. And mind you, we do ask. I thought nothing of it, that it is ok if she doesn't want to share her space.. but then again, which child doesn't want to share his or her experiences with his or her parents; especially when Thea is so attached to me? Actually, not possible... unless she was trying to tell me something about me.
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Angeline concluded that Kelly did not want Angeline's presence in her life; which is not what I saw. I saw that Kelly was reflecting what Angeline was doing to Kelly. Angeline was always physically there with Kelly and Joey; and same as me, I am always physically with Thea, but not present to Thea. Thea can be asking me to take this for her, put that for her, do this for her, read that to her, and yet... it is either I do it half-heartedly, or I tell her to go look for her kakak! And children, being sensitive to our energies and state of being can naturally sense our intentions at that moment in time. She picked up that I was not interested to be in her presence, her space; hence she hardly tells me about anything that happens to her.
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And then the next question pops up - do I want her to share her experiences, thoughts and space with me? Doggone it, OF COURSE!!! So I started out this morning (when I got home last night, she was already sleeping), I made conscious effort to be in her presence; accepting her presence in mine too. 1 example, before we went for class this morning, she told me that she wanted to feed the fish in the aquarium and told me to join her. Usually, I would have just called out my favourite word at home "KAKAK!!!!!!!!", but I smiled and said ok. I took her little hand, walked to the aquarium, carried her up and together with her, held the bottle of fish food and sprinkled the fish food to the only pathetic fish in the aquarium. She was really happy. After that, it was time to go for class. After class, I asked her the same question as I would everytime she went for class, "how was class today and what did you do?". Not expecting any answer, and very very pleasantly surprised, she answered "Bunion walk"!! Although that was all she said, and I didn't really know what that was but hey, it is indeed a start!! And on the way back home, we talked about how she preferred the white coco-crunch compared to the chocolate ones eventhough she ate the chocolate ones first. Hmm.. a similar trait like me.. I like to finish what I don't like first then slowly savour what I like... hehehe.. And then she asked me if she could watch Strawberry Shortcake (AGAIN!). I said yes and offered to watch with her. She smiled all the way home... And true enough, when Strawberry Shortcake was on (AGAIN!), she called out to me (I was in the study room checking mails), "mommi, come! come!! see! see!" I rushed out immediately excitedly and sat down beside her to watch the series (AGAIN!). The (AGAIN!) implies that we have watched this over a thousand times... sighs...
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It is tremendously beautiful at this moment. And I am so thankful for the company that I am in, and the energies that surrounding me. They constantly remind me of what I need to know or reflect so that I don't miss out on anything; or rather, the simple joys of life...
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And thank you Angel & Kelly... for this beautiful lesson too... :)
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