The Egoic Cycle

This is existence is as such, at least on this plane. We want the success, the joy, the happiness, the excitement hence we had inevitably 'agreed' to accept the failure, the pain, the sadness, the fear; in our experience. To understand this is to see through the veils of illusion. To see through this illusion, is to finally understand that they are merely different sides of the same coin. To see though the coin, is to come to peace with it. And that peace too, is an illusion at another level. For in peace, there exist too, a space of non-peace. When peace as an illusion is finally understood, then there is impartiality.

But this impartiality, also comes with its imitation versions. It is the 'none of my business' illusion. You see, the ego will never want you to have it easy. To the unwise, 'none of my business' is merely an unconscious attachment to peace; a wise 'none of my business' understanding is where whatever that arises; the ups and the downs; the recognition of impermanent nature. The recognition of impermanent nature, is understanding that the 'none of my business' illusion consists of no "I" or "you" or "him". There is nobody there. Just impermanent nature. As what Sayadow has mentioned, "it is all just a misunderstanding".

The whole consciousness is egoic on its own. The human realm thinks that they are in trouble, and then they call upon teachers and others realms for help. But who are their teachers and those from the other realms, but their own imagination, another form of egoic existence.

Not that there is no Truth. Not that there is no enlightenment. Not that there is no teacher or guide. But they are not meant to be put on a pedestal, nor an altar. When we unconsciously idolize them, we are then again separated once more. Only we don't remember, what we are here for. As shared in Matrix 2 - you have already made your choice, you just need to understand why you made it.

I need my husband, my husband needs me; I need my children, my children needs me; I need my job, my company needs me - all egoic; albeit in its own sense. Albeit in its own sense; all the same trap. In truth, no one needs us, and we don't need anyone. We only think we do and they only think they do. We like to think we are heros, we are important; we like to think that we have heroes too, that we have people important in our lives. So we are forever like little children. No wonder we will always have a 'father' and a 'mother' and later on be a 'father' or a 'mother'. No matter how much we try to deny it, it is in all of us. Even if a person is not our biological parent, or our biological child, there comes a point in time where we play that role anyway.

So are we important at all, we ask ourselves? Surely there must be something I can do. Yes, yes, we are all important! But surely you must know that it is not in the meaning that you have thought it to be. But what else is there? We hear ourselves ask. Seek and ye shall find, but be forewarned because there will be no turning back.

Do I know? I do not know. The ego would like to arrogantly say 'I DO!' and also unworthily say 'I don't..." So do I know or do I not know? The Spirit already knows, so what is there for the ego to know? Why must the ego know but to satisfy its needs? And what needs are those, but to strengthen the meaning of "I".

Could it then be possible that there is just knowing.. with no "I" in it? I don't know..

Ah, but you see.. there is still an "I" in it... Soon I will realise that I can never get rid of "I". But the "I" can be transformed or rather, transcended as what my teacher say. As long as we are no longer succumb to the automated mode, we are already making progress and deserve a pat on the back. Oh dear, so it looks like you are here to stay...

So who is this "I" which I think "I" am? Actually, just programmes in the mind which I had mistakenly thought it was - I.