You think I've been quiet? Well, in my reality that is so totally untrue. What I will admit is that there has been plenty of boredom and 'sien-ness'. Is it possible that these situations are coming from the space of 'No Thoughts'? hahaha.. I wished.. seriously, the mind is never at ease, or is it the ego? While to the Internet or mobilephone world I have been hibernating, but let me share with you - the reality of hibernating (according to my experience, that is) - PURE INDULGENCE IN DRAMA!!
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If you were to ask the guardian angel, "eh, what your ma'am do at home ar?", she'd probably answer you, "nothing much.. just eat, sleep, watch tv, read book and play with Thea.". The truth be told that behind all those activities she could have mentioned are many kinds of different stories swimming in my head! Sigh.. seriously, don't bother asking me what it is. I myself also don't know.. but the most obvious is the irritation and anger of not having anything to do. There is this split mind you know.. one says, "eh, there is nothing to do wor.. so no need to do anything la.. it is ok one mah.."; and the other says, "walau-eh, seriously, can die man don't do anything..." Ok, so when I buy into what the seemingly other mind says and start planning to do this and that, guess what... the passion and inspiration is just not there!! So, I lay back and watch my tv, eat my junk food, read my book and play with Thea lor.. Where was hubby? Hubby was busy busy working lor.. he found himself some new entertainment - management work in the office. So busy until he leaves home at 530am and arrives home at 3am. Am I pissed? Nah... not really.. but just really, really bored... because no one around to entertain me. Sometimes when he is home, I will tend to talk some nonsense to him... just to spice things up a bit in my life, you know... Some examples of our conversation would go like this: -
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G: (with sad puppy face) Honneee..... why you don't want to buy handbag for me???????
H: (with a smile) Ok la, you go buy la...
G: (not satisfied with the answer) but, honneeee...... why you allocate budget for me????
H: (still with a smile) How much is the handbag?
G: (getting excited) the handbag is only RM109, but then now hor, got Malaysian sales so got 10% off, so the handbag is only RM98.10.
H: (with a smile) Ok la, go buy la..
G: (not satisfied with answer) but.. but... I bought it already...
H: (with confused look) then why you ask me to buy for you? you already bought it mah...
G: (with a mischievous look) you see arr.. the one I bought is white colour, but today only I saw got light brown colour (same design), and it looks nicer, so I mah thought of asking you to buy for me lor..
H: (with a surprised look) harr.... like that also can arr??? (with a smile) ok la, ok la.. I buy for you la..
G: (with irritation) ggggggrrrrrrr....... aiyooooo... can you give me some challenge arr??? boring la you like that... everything also give in to me!!!!!!
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Hubby burst out into laughter.
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Ya, I know.. as I am typing this also I think I am crazy.. but the truth was, I was picking for a 'fight' or an 'argument' just for the fun of it.. because I was bored...
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Ya... I know.. crazy liao.. luckily my hubby is a wise man.. hahaha.. didn't fall into my trap, if not when it really turns out to be dramatic, I wouldn't know how to resolve the matter.. hahaha
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Anyway, I think I am slowly coming out from the 'boredom' cave. It's really time to do something creative already. Will be cooking on Sunday. Will tell you how everything goes ok?
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Btw, I will also be attending a Public Speaking Course next week, and also plan to assist CnC in some areas just for fun. That ought to keep me busy.
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Must admit, at the first thought of having things I got quite scared - it's like, "aiya... sh*t, got things to do already leh.. cannot lepak already.. " but then as I thought further, "eh, wasn't I just complaining that I was bored because I had nothing to do???"
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Strange... why is it that we just can't be happy when we have nothing to do? And when we have something to do, we wished that we had nothing to do? Strange, strange dilemma...
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