Last night, I was working on my laptop. As usual, the little one came climbing on top of me to either join me in my work, or to irritate me. It was really annoying because I was trying to finish my work quickly so that I could take a break for the day. Stressed was building up especially when she kept attempting to type on the keyboard I was using. Soon, I could not take it anymore and blurted, "Thea, mommi's getting angry." After I said that, she kept quiet and burst into tears. She turned around and hugged me. I hugged her back for a very short while and typed away as she held on to me.
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After a while, she got down from my lap and went to watch TV. I could still hear her whining as she watched her favourite Strawberry Short Cake VCD. I made a mental note to give her an assuring hug and kiss after I was done with my work.
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Soon after I've finished my work (I am currently working on a project and some other voluntary work), I went to her. She was sitting at her little sofa all curled up. I told her that I've finished work and gave her a big hug and a few big kisses. She continued to sulk. I decided to leave her alone and proceeded upstairs to watch TV with hubby.
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Hubby and I were quite engrossed with the movie that was playing on Star Movies. She came upstairs and greeted us like normal.
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Thea: "hi dada, hi mommi!"
Dada & Mommi: "hi Thea!"
Thea: "Thea finish crying already."
Mommi: "Why were you crying?" *amazed*
Thea: "oh, because mommi was feeling angry with Thea."
*Mommi feeling guilty, shocked and touched by her sheer honest expression*
Mommi: "oh, I am sorry, pumpkin, for feeling angry earlier..." *hugging Thea tightly*
Thea: "oh, it's ok mommi, it was only an accident." *smiling*
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I had only taught her thrice, that she is not anger, and that anger is only a feeling; and there she was, explaining to her best capacity of what she understood... and what amazed and touched me even further was that she was able to understand that the anger was not intentional, and that it was just a feeling that came and went; not permanent. And by being able to "wake up" from the "victim" mode all by herself, she surely taught me a thing of two: -
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You have a choice to choose what you want to believe. You can choose to believe something that will make you feel better or worse... because no truth, is ever the REAL truth. The truth is, only what's real to you. And what's real to you, shall be what binds you; or free you.
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Thank you, my little pumpkin.. my young & wise teacher... With gratitude, I love you... :)
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