Birthday Marathon: Bonus No. 1

Like I said.. I must be very loved. :D

...

Last night, I had my bonus no. 1 to my birthday marathon with the girls. This time, Florence and An joined us.

An, Terri, Flo, Gladys & me

We had great fun at TGIF, Subang Parade. The highlight of the night (to me), was deciding where to head after dinner. We were deciding between clubbing at Holiday Villa, RP and some event in KL, OR karaoke-ing at Neway, Subang. Gladys, An and I voted for singing, over clubbing. It's not that I don't enjoy clubbing, but I just didn't feel like drinking (or rather, consciously not wanting to drink) and since I am now in the journey of slowing down cigarettes, I still don't have the confidence in myself not to puff away while at the club. For your information, I am in the journey of breaking my belief that I need to smoke. I must give myself a pat on the back because I now do not need to smoke ALL the time. I can't deny that I still do, but there is much control now - as in, I do not need to do it every hour or so. I could even do without it for a few days!! BRAVO FOR ME!! The limit for me now is none a day, or at max 4 sticks a day when there is actually stock (which only means that I am in the company of smokers ;p); and that is considered a 'I-could've-done-better' day for me. Not judging myself, mind you... but just consciously being gentle with myself with the understanding that, to entirely break this belief that I had created for myself and practised for so many years, it'd take me some time to entirely be free of it since it was quite an important part of my life that I needed to smoke. Note the 'was'. :) But, am looking forward to a completely free 'is'!! ;D

...

Anyway, back to Bonus No. 1. We proceeded to Neway. Here's us.

...

An (with the mic), Gladys, Terri & me

Must admit. We were all DIVAs! hahaha.. there were four mics. Each of us held one and sang our hearts out. I think we were just non-stop singing for the whole four hours when we were there. I had a great, great time! Oh yes, Flo decided not to join us because she wished to be home with her kids in anticipation of the late night we'd have. Well, she was right. We left Neway at 1:30am.. hahaha..

I absolutely had a great time. I've noticed that I enjoy myself a lot more when I fully accept and love myself. It's like, I can now fully allow myself to experience the moment, rather than being cautious or careful with the experience, as if restricting myself. I realised that I've always held myself back because of fear... well, that was the past. And I am grateful for many reminders that come my way to live in the Now - because Here is where I Am. Isn't it wonderful to just be present to 'what is' - as in what is already happening now for me - rather than carrying the burden of guilt of the past of what had been done, OR the burden of the future of what needs to be done!

Btw, the below are gifts I received from An & Flo.

I appreciate the many moments of giving, receiving & wonderment. Thank you girls, for the beautiful night of joy. Love. :)