I feel that I've been busy, but not that kind of busy that you get something fruitful out of it. And I wouldn't say that it is fruitless either, but well... I can't really conclude it, except that they are experiences which could mean something, but ultimately meant nothing.
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Past couple of days, besides the insurance issue with my uncle (and resolved!!), my energy was relatively low. Went to see a Psychic with Thea and she shared some information which I found a little hard to believe but know that it was something that I'd used to believe in. I felt resistance in accepting it. It was crazy, because I found myself 'suffering' and really really low after that. Suffering not in an emotional or physical sense, it is something I can't really explain. I just didn't feel good, probably arising from lots and lots of resistance.
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Having a word with BB did not calm me and no, it was not because he did not say useful things; but more because my mind was closed. I was aware that most of the time while listening to him (I was attending a Wisdom Meditation class conducted by BB), I was experiencing glimpses where my mind was opened and closed, and then opened and closed again. This cycle went on throughout the session, until after the session I felt a release. I did not share this with anybody, not even my usual buddy, Angel. Don't know why... I guess it was because I was still not accepting of what was seemingly happening to me. Aah... the 'Me', always the cause of the suffering... *shake head*
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Anyway, yesterday was a day where I told hubby that I WILL NOT BE OUT DOING ANYTHING, although I was still doing something at home (at least I am home right?). Busy stuffs.. but can't remember what it was. Oh yes oh yes.... I filled my time watching a movie, read, the guy from Fujioh came over to service the cooker hood before I went out at about 530pm. At about 615pm I think, I made a decision - that whatever that was haunting me, keeping my energy low and etc etc... I will treat it as an illusion.
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I know, for some of you who have not been fed with such information, you'd probably be wondering what the hell I am talking about. And I don't think I will explain it here. Don't want to make my blog too complicated, since I am still in the process of drilling through the clouds of illusion.
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During the class conducted by BB on Wednesday, he confessed that he was walking 2 spiritual journeys, which resonated with me. At times I feel that way too... Angel said that there is something called the Middlepath - now, that made me wonder, could that be what the Buddha meant by 'Middlepath', instead of what we had been taught in the Buddhist context of what 'Middlepath' means. That, deserves some pondering.
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Back to the illusion bit, once I made that decision, surprisingly I felt better. There was an almost immediate switch from being energetically low to high! I chatted with Angel again and was laughing away... I was so happy! I even slept early!! (I've had trouble sleeping lately).
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And today, was another busy day - just with nails, nails and nails. My damn nails took up my time between 10am to 4pm. FED UP!! ARGH!! And now, my pointer still doesn't look nice ok!! GRRRRR.... Geram only...
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But you know what I was rewarded with when I finally took the time to drive up to Alina's house to pass her Jon & Pauline's wedding invitation card??? (and the reception is tomorrow!!), her freshly baked Buttercake!!!! Just plain buttercake!! It was simply awesomely delicious!!!! Girl, you can cook AND bake!! Hmm, you must be wondering about my excitement - I am not a chocolate or cake person; so when I say that a cake or some piece of chocolate is good - it's damn good!!!
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After dropping off the invitation, I went to collect the corsages for Jon & Pauline. Came back, had dinner, showered, talked to Thea a bit (she's not feeling well :( ) and then had to go out again to run some errands with Bee for Jon & Paul's wedding. Had a good laugh during the conversation with Bee. My brothers make me laugh most of the time; that is, when they are not irritating me... hahaa..
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So, this is an aimless entry - and it is 1040pm now. I could go to sleep (Thea's already asleep), but I think I will stay up to watch another movie and wait up for hubby.
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Nightie night and sweetie dreams...
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