I found my answer.
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I know. It's quite a short span of time to ponder on it. But after a heartwarming chat with Boon Ling last night and through her guidance of certain processes to ascertain what I truly prioritise in my space, I found out that while I would like to venture into something to proof my worthiness, I valued my own time and freedom with my family, loved ones and myself more. Aiks, shame on me! How could I not know that? *knocking myself on the head*
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And after great sharing with Boon Ling over the phone, I walked to my laptop and pleasantly found a reply from my great teacher, Hari. His answer, as usual, came in the form of a question. That brought a smile to my face and eased in my heart. His usual one sentence answer in question form (well, most of the time) always leaves my heart tickled in a sweet and joyful way. Don't know how to explain it, go see him and experience it for yourself! ;D
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So I got my answer, and validation from Hari. How wonderfully perfect! The whole creation of confusion of wanting to go back to rectify a past which I thought I screwed up! I could not remember then that all creations, whether good or bad was a journey for us to experience and to learn.. that was all. While it was a 'heroic' thought to rescue the apparently winding down company, I failed to see everything was perfectly as it was! Fantastic!
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Another of my great teacher, Tuck Loon, always reminded there is indeed nothing to do, or say; because as long as we work within ourselves - the outside changes and reflects the changes that we have within. I guess the opportunity presented in the form of 'reviving' the business was indeed just an opportunity for me to free myself from the guilt of failing and leaving Dreaming Daisies.
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To be honest, the story has not even started but the drama has played itself out in the head already... hahha.. oh this amazing, complicated, hungry-for-drama mentality...
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Thank you Dreaming Daisies - my creation for allowing me to experience the setting up a business, the heartaches of running a business and the withdrawal from it through failure of management. Really got me fooled there!
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Thank you Gladys - my creation of presenting me the opportunity to venture into the business again which actually was just an opportunity to uncover the guilt and shame that I've hidden within me for so long.
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Thank you Boon Ling - my creation for teaching me tools of weighing what is important to me and sharing with me your experiences that assured me that I am not entirely alone in this journey.
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Thank you Hari - my creation of a great teacher, who lovingly guides me, enlightens me and validates my heart's desires.
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Thank you Tuck Loon - my creation of a great teacher, friend and brother who lovingly shares his teachings with me, supports me in my journey in ways he may not even know... or perhaps, he does... :)
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Love you all. And most of all, I love and thank myself for creating ALL of you, the loving beings and experiences that surrounds, reminds, supports and guides me in this journey of self discovery...
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Love.
Dont go back for the purpose of rectifying past. There is nothing to be rectified in the first place.
ReplyDeletePrecisely. But that would really be the only reason why I would do it.
ReplyDeleteSo now that I am clear and conscious of it, I could choose to do it for fun; that is, if I choose to do it. ;p
Success & failure my friend is just a journey. Most importantly from this journey is what we have learnt and in hope that we will not make the same mistakes again....
ReplyDeleteSo, don't go feeling guilty as it is nobody's fault....
Just do what your heart tells you to and I doubt you will go wrong....
Thanks girl.. funny, I received the same message from another friend - that is, to follow my heart. She finished off with this - that our life purpose, is not to do something that we don't like. :)
ReplyDelete