On the Right Track

I always loved seeing Hari. Yup, had a session with him this morning and as always, the session always turned out fantastic and wonderful. Walked out of the centre feeling... hmm... liberated?? hahaha.. a bit exagerated but somewhat true. :)

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So I am on the right track. Only that I was stuck because I was afraid my responses were my reactions. It's crazy, because now that I know that Truth I am afraid to experience the Truth! Absolutely absurb of me! I must say that there were many "phew...."s in me throughout the session. It feels great to know that now is the time to creative, and to create!

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So the mind IS pretty silent. Sometimes I can't really hear it. I note that. And sometimes I experience NO thoughts, and that brings me to the space of peacefully being with the emptiness. But then feelings of boredom arises because I am not contented with 'nothing to do'. Funny eh? And I am not saying that my mind is B-L-A-N-K (though many a times, I wished that it would just shut up!) when I say that it is pretty silent. Just not much dramas running in the head... if you know what I mean. And so, I am now told that it is time to fill the 'empty' cup with affirmations! Wonderful!

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BB once told us in a group sharing that positive affirmations doesn't work. That applied to me then because our minds (collectively) or should I just take responsibility for this little subset mind of the collective mind because it was FULL of SHIT! But now, it seems that the bulk of the shit (ahem, I don't mean shit as being bad here.. just explaining in a laymen context so that you'd understand), it is now time to train it with positive and loving affirmations.

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I used to have a thought that our minds are evil - fear based, ego based and etc... and that only the heart is good. But now I have a new understanding of the mind - it is in fact just a tool which has been programmed by default to help us get what we want. It incorporated all these fearful experiences/conceptions which inevitably molded the personalities of who I think I am because at that point in time, I did not know any better... or to put it truthfully, was still asleep. Not that it was there to harm me, but it was just doing its job. And my job, is to understand how it works, 'treat' it with 'anti-virus' and to reformat and reprogramme the damn hard disk!

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Really, the truth does get easier to grasp when you are willing and ready for it in the journey of awakening. There are only 2 laws - the law of fear and the law of love, quoted many times by Hari. They are neither good nor bad. We always perceive fear as bad, but fear can uplift both you and I to a higher level of love -if and only if, the intention is love. I guess while fear visits off and on, love always pulls me back. I didn't know that, and I give this acknowledgment to Hari for sharing that with me, and to myself for receiving that information.

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Kalai said the other night, "wah... Hari and Tuck Loon really made an impact on your life huh?" while I acknowledged that, I blurted, "I was the one who made an impact on my life because I was willing to listen and practice the teachings they shared with me." Egoistic? Well, I was shy after making that statement to tell you the truth. But when I was sharing with Hari this morning on the exact same thing, he acknowledged the same. BB always said, "In truth, we cannot help anyone. We only share our ideas with them, and if they buy into our ideas, we are still not helping them although it looks like it. In truth, they are the ones helping themselves because they bought into your idea to help themselves." Oooohhh.. do you see now why I love myself so much for having 2 such beautiful, loving and wise Teachers!!! *winks*

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You see, no one can help you or whatsoever. Whatever that could be said or done to you, has been said and done to you. It's the choices you make thereafter - to either listen or to shy away. I chose to listen and I choose to continue to be obedient to both my Teachers and Masters because I want to continue to make an impact on my life. While I am grateful to them for departing their knowledge and teachings to me, I am even more grateful to myself for having made that choice of being their student for my own growth...

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Love to both of you, my Teachers and Masters, BB and Hari. :)