The Disappearance.

So I've heard that I seem to have disappeared from the face of the earth. No emails, no chats, no phone calls, no smses... I know.. it's as if I didn't exist. If not for people's memory of the existence of a 32 (already?) year old woman - Gerry, I guess perhaps I would just gone unnoticed...

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Hah! You wish, Gerry Kok!! It doesn't work that way!! ;p

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So, I have been out of touch. Let me tell you why.

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Firstly, thanks to my faithful modem - I was experiencing slow or possibility nil internet connection for the past 2 weeks. Suspected it was the internet speed and since my brother, Inro suggested an upgrade, and hubby agreed on the upgrade, I did the calling and went to the shop for the upgrade. Strangely, it did not work either. So we were internet-less until Inro suggested that it could be the modem acting up. As darling as he is, he brought back a spare unit from office to examine that possibility and V-I-O-L-A! He was right!! (and because of that, claims that he is God - what a wonderful way to remember who he truly is!) So of course, it took time to get those network settings and passwords or whatsoever which I had absolutely no idea of in place- I left it to my hubby, who left it to Inro to set it all up. Fantastic! So now I am back to being a computer addict (have been sitting in front of my laptop for 2 hours just to read ALL my emails and ALL the updates I've missed out with an in btw break of a mini-durian feast in the kitchen ;D). So I apologise for my MIA. Purely unintentional yet a wonderful experience of not being connected to the WWW.

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Secondly, anyone who stepped into my house for the past 2 weeks experienced difficulty in calling and receiving calls from our mobile phones (only applicable to Maxis subscibers). Yes, we all thought the same - Maxis could be upgrading. So we were patient with the 'upgrade' for a few days and then it lasted longer than we expected. Inro said, "cannot be la.. this is only happening in your house, jea!" Hmm... strange. So I called Maxis I think 3-4 days ago to inform them of this inconvenience that we were experiencing. The network problem somehow seemed to have gone away after 2 days I called Maxis and they were so courteous to call me yesterday to check with me if I was still experiencing the inconvenience. They explained that there was indeed some network problem but only occurred in Kota Kemuning (actually, only my area). Cool, so now it's rectified! But since no one called me, I called no one - except Angeline.. hahaha

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Thirdly, I attended Christopher Moon's workshop recently in the first week of June. I expected myself to cry and cry and cry during the workshop(that was what happened in previously) but found myself laughing a lot more. Lai Fun commented that my facial expression never changed throughout the workshop and that I looked very serious. Well, I was having 'fun' being serious! hahaha.. Anyway, after that session, I called Hari for a session which manifested last Tuesday. Somehow after the session with Hari, I seemed to be on a still mode. I don't know how to explain it. It was as if, I was neither happy nor sad; neither up nor down; neither here nor there. I felt extreme boredom, directionless and erm, a bit motionless too. Didn't feel like talking, or laughing, or singing, or dancing, or cooking, or even going out. AMAZING!!! But it was not like I was depressed or had anything in my mind or anything like that. Hubby kept asking me, "are you ok? are you depressed? how come you are so quiet?" That's the thing! I didn't feel like doing anything and yet, the feeling of experiencing the boredom, directionless or motionless mode was equally cool too! So that was how I was for the past 1 week. Quiet and still.

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Until yesterday, I went for facial. I was lying there, with mask on my face. And then I remembered Hari saying, "Gerry, you can now create anything you want..." well, of course he didn't say it in exact words but something like that.. so I decided to play a game. I told myself "I am living fully, lovingly, happily, joyfully unconditionally." I just kept citing that in my head and the events and energy that I had the remaining of the day was ecstatic!! I was dancing, singing to Thea and Jason and to myself, sobbing with appreciation listening to Jaclyn Victor sing her tunes, talking non-stop to hubby, roasted chicken and etc etc etc... fantastic! hah!

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Guess what? I cooked today, and am cooking tomorrow too.. hahaha.. guardian angel is having a fun time watching me in this mode..

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Anyway, that's the story behind the disappearance. I have much more to update as I feel my heart swell but this entry is getting a little long. Since the internet is not going to fail me for a very very very very very long time (plus the fact that it is now speedier due to the upgrade), I ought not to act like a kid who is not going to get her candies anymore. But... Ooh...., I must say this before I pen off (or rather type off!), I FINALLY know how to take photo shots of objects moving!! I wasn't able to do it earlier and the outcome of the pictures kept turning out blurry.. but I finally got it!! YAY!!!!!!!!!! Will post them up on FB soon. :)

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Nighty night... and remember, live fully, lovingly, happily, joyfully unconditionally...

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Love.