1st Time at the Gym

Hah! Don't be conned! It is NOT my first time at the gym, but my first time at the gym after MANY MANY MOOOOOOOOOOOOONSS!! Lols.

I have been lazy. I admit it. I also have things that I prefer to do other than sweating my butt out at the gym. I know it is good for me, but so? I like to eat my nasi lemak at Uncle Lim's, go shop around in Parkson, chit chat with the ladies over at the Clarins counter, read my book at the mamak or at Uncle Lim's, look-see look-see what new books MPH has, do my editing or writing work WHILE waiting for Thea to finish class. So? So?

Seriously.. who is questioning me? :/

Obviously, I am questioning myself. I don't understand why. I was so "gian" (meaning "eager" in hokkien) to  exercise, go to the gym, lose weight, feel fit again for the 1st quarter of the year (must be overbrew from last year's losing weight sprint) and then after that I was giving myself 1001 excuses NOT to go to the gym.. Wanna know what the excuses were? Here, let me share some of them with you: ~

1. Hubby around - need to spend time with him
2. Meeting Angeline for breakfast
3. Leg pain
4. Just washed my hair the night before
5. Just did facial the day before
6. Lazy to pack my gym bag
7. Got editing/writing work to do
8. This book very interesting to read - inspired to finish reading the book
9. Don't feel like it
10. Period coming
11. Period is here
12. Period just finished
13. No gang - lonely
14. ...

I know.. lame excuses right? Hehehe.. I think so too.. but really just not in the mood.. so how?!? Maybe I am not honest enough. You see, the last time I had to lose weight because hubby was complaining. So, I was doing it for him - entirely missing the mark, AGAIN!!! tsk, tsk, tsk... But now that hubby is no longer complaining and completely loving me, erm, I think.. I find no motivation to work at it anymore! My gosh, how this mind works!!! ARGH!!!

Anyway, I made an appointment for this free Personal Training (PT) session for this morning. To be honest, this appointment, has been made and cancelled, made and cancelled, made and cancelled for many, many times. Excuses - sick, overslept, not free... until the poor trainer also fed-up.. hahhaa.. And you want to know the best part? I am always the one who walks to the counter to make the appointment each time.. you see la.. embarassing or not.. Lols

So last night, I decided that I will stick to this appointment. What I thought would have been an Indian trainer, turned out to be a Chinese trainer who is really young. Probably about 20+, wears specs (I have a thing for guys with specs), and erm, pretty cute.. Lols. He asked me why I don't like weights. I told him that I don't like the after effects of it - the pain and aches.. so he was pretty gentle with me on the weights.. the minute I showed my face, he would either say, "ok ok.. five more only" or immediately loosen the weights if I had not started on the reps. Cute.. but what a way to NOT lose weight and get fit! Lols.

At the end of the session, I insisted on knowing my current weight. As expected, I weighed about 58.1 kg. Real DISAPPOINTMENT!!! I was 57.5kg just last month! And my aim was to be at least 54kg by year end... sighs... but then again, how could I be anywhere near the 'desired' weight when I don't even work at it?!?! Sometimes, I am shocked with myself. :p As usual, the colourful charts pasted on the walls indicated that while I was in the ideal range of BMI (Body Mass Index - I still don't really know what this is), I have an excess fat of xx% (sorry, this has to be a secret!). So I have 2 choices now - Choice no. 1: Love my excess fats OR Choice no. 2: WORK AT IT!!! GRRRRRRR.....

Hmm, can I choose both? Ironically, I am in the mood to 'move' my body now. When I remember how good it makes me feel after a workout session, be it dancing, walking, jogging, swimming, weights or simply just stretching, it motivates me to continuously do it - because I enjoy the experience of it. But when I totally forget and entirely absorbed in the moment of laziness 'NOW', I realise that I don't let go of anything but 'me' and not in a very healthy way... :(

Life could be a balance. In fact, it is always about balancing, but we normally swing from one end of the pendulum to the other and when we realised that we are at the other end, we work towards the other end - and most of time, miss the middle path, where everything is just constant and just is. And it is silly to think that we can do something for someone, or for that someone to do something back to or for us. Yeah, I was silly.. because whether I exercise or not - the healthy and fit body belongs to me, and no one else!

So ya.. today is my first time at the Gym after many many moons, may I have the discipline to continue this journey of honouring the body and uplifting myself along the way - for no one else, but me! :)

Love.