Children of Our Own II

You know what, today when I went to pick up Thea from school today, one of the parents (let's call her Parent 1) there asked me,

"Eh, Gerry.. the other day you were not feeling well right... is there another one coming arr?"

Just so you know, I brought the 500D with me and started clicking at baby Ismee (one of Thea's friend's baby sister).

I said,

"No lah!"

Then, one of the other parent (Parent 2) pointed at herself (Parent 2), another parent (Parent 3) and me.

I then asked,

"what?"

Then Parent 2 (who pointed) said,

"no... we stop production already, don't want to have anymore. one sudah cukup."

I smiled and nodded.

Then Parent 1 asked me again,

"Eh, but Gerry... one enough ke... you sure arr? I see you like always play with baby only, take picture of baby, smile and talk to baby onli... you like memang like baby lah..."

I smiled and said,

"Ya. I like babies and I like photography. But for now, yes, I don't want anymore babies. I don't know how I'd feel next week, or next month, or next year... but yeah, for today, on the 22nd October 2009, I don't want another kid."

Why am I sharing this? Because, I surprised myself too. Usually, when I answer that kind of question, there exist a kind of guilt or sadness. But today, I felt free and joyful when I gave my answer. As if, really... a huge burden had been lifted off my shoulders!

Of course, re-reading my previous entry today made me realise that my sufferings were caused by guilt and mainly for my inability to stay in the present. Did you observe? I was either throdding in the future, or in the past, failing ever to be in the present when the present, the now, is the most real, most solid and ever the only thing that I'd ever need to truthfully face? Amazing! What a revelation!!

I feel great, because at this moment, I am FREE!!! :D

How about you?