Family Constellation Workshop with Dr. Wilfried Nelles

It was with intention that I signed up for this workship, with the blessings from hubby (he sponsored! ;p). It was held for a period of 3 days at Pearl Point Hotel. It was amazing. I think there were more or less 30+ participants. Most were locals, some from Hong Kong and some from Singapore with a pretty healthy spread in age group too.

I was already quite familiar with the family constellation methods so it was not difficult for me to 'fit in' in a constellation. A constellation is basically a lay out by representatives (of people) of a family system, to witness and observe what lays deep in the subconscious, or at soul level as some may call it. And each constellation is unique on its own - bearing their own story behind every wound that was brought to surface. So someone goes up there and says, "I don't know why, I always feel that I am not accepted anywhere..." or "I am not successful at work" or etc etc, only to find out through the constellations the entanglements he or she has with her parents or even ancestors as a child. In the best of my knowledge from the learnings of the previous constellation workshop which I had attended last December, a child already loves his or her parents before they are born and are willing to take on anything that his or her parents do not see. Hence the symptoms of sufferings such as unstable relationships, problems with money, diseases and illnessesn apply to the children. So in a constellation, where the representatives are 'led' to move through their own surrendering, the real story is then revealed - that means, that whatever that needs to be seen and accepted is then surfaced. It is amazing process. During the process, the representatives are then guided to resolve the conflict in the constellation. While some constellations were not possible, but most ended in peace and harmony. Having witness and participating in quite a few cases resulted in deeper understandings and compassion within me for others. The constellations sort of peeled off everybody's mask - to their true inner emotions, something that most of us suppress and sweep under the carpet. It was like, stripping naked in front of a group of people, especially to ourselves.

Dr. Nelles shared during the workshop that we need to be with our emotions. Having said that, he also clarified that it doesn't mean when we are angry, we go blaming other people or ourselves. It is more of being aware of this feeling, and allowing ourselves to feel the emotion, be it anger, guilt, sadness and so on. Many are afraid that if they do allow themselves to fully feel these feelings, they would drown in them and never come out of it. On the contrarary, Dr. Nelles explained that it is until we feel the peak or extreame of these emotions, then we'd be free from it. He explained this, "We are not anger, we are not fear, we are not our emotions; but we identify ourselves with it." He advised us to develop an awareness to watch our emotions, whether they go up or down. The rest comes along with it naturally as long as you stay with the emotions by allowing it without judging it. As soon as we resist it and turn away from it, it reveals itself by coming from the back (something like 'belakang mari') through the people around you. How relevant to BB;s sharing on Mindfulness. Dr. Nelles also said that we have to recognise that when the emotions arises be it whatever situation, it is not us who are upset but the wounded child in us. And the wounded child in us ARE us when we were small, when we didn't know any better... and since he/she did not know any better, we cannot push it (the emotions or the wounded child) away. We need to be with the wounded child, to let them know that we, the adult is here.

I truly had an amazing journey these 3 days. I can't speak for anyone else though. Although most of the participants spoke in Mandarin and my Mandarin was only so-so, it was cool to be able to mingle with a different crowd of people.

Being able to participate other people's cases as their representative also assisted in my own healing. The emotions, wounded part and the story behind it was oh so similar. It was as if it was my story too... Dr. Nelles explained that usually when we are picked as a representative or vice versa, it is so because we carry the similar energy. For that, I am grateful that I am not only able to assist in another's healing process, but also of my own.

Much appreciation to Dr. Wilfried Nelles for his sharings during the 3-day workshop! And much appreciation to Heng & Maylin too for bringing Dr. Wilfried Nelles to Malaysia so that the rest of us could learn more about ourselves through the work of Family Constellation. :)

You could google Family Constellation to find out more! It's really interesting work. Have fun! :D