My 2nd QiGong Class

You guessed right, I chickened out (if you did make a guess if I'd ever continue Qigong). After my first attempt at Gigong and falling sick after that, I got really scared going back to Qigong classes. So I keeped the 2nd, 3rd and 4th class altogether. But today, I decided that I've paid for it and won't put my hubby's hard earn money to waste, so I changed into the Qigong uniform and prepared myself.

Believe it or not, before I left home, I felt F-E-A-R. Real, solid F-E-A-R! To the extent that I actually felt nauseous! I was THAT scared! I quickly called Angel. I couldn't stand the fear! I so wanted to turn my car around but at the same time, diligently watched the 'wanting to turn my car around' feeling.

The instructor, Simon, reminded that he could help me. He said all I had to do was to tell him. Fine. That still didn't seem to calm me to the degree of my self inflicted fear. Angel asked me, "if you are not ready, you don't have to do it." The thing is, I am already AT IT!! Stubbon, hard-headed me!! Argh!!!

I was very cautious throughout the whole session, careful not to overdraw 'chi', or overabsorb 'chi'. Although I had no complaints about the earlier down time after Qigong, but I guess the memory is still very fresh in the head hence my reluctance to re-experience it. In the midst of the session, I could feel that familar nauseous, full feeling again... argh... I quickly called out to Simon who advised me to shake my legs, or to rotate my ankles clockwise or anti-clockwise. I did as I was told. Ok, I did feel better. But it didn't stop thoughts like, "geez.. I am really not enjoying this"; "this is so boring..."; or "I really, really prefer dancing..." swimming around in my head. Oh well, another session done. There's still coming Thursday to see how I truly feel about Qigong without judging it. Two lessons are too little time to assess anything.

I am aware of my judgements towards Qigong due to a past experience.. argh.. why do past experiences always have a take on our future actions.. argh... but I am quite sure, that since I am not my mind, I would continue trying this out, until I am divinely inspired to stop... Lols.

Time to shower now. Night! :)