Came back a while ago from my first meeting with the Resident Committee as President. Didn't feel any different. Although some fellow members could not turn up but the support that I've received was still tremendously solid. There were practical queries, suggested solutions and healthy discussions. It was obvious that those in the Committee were in the Committee to serve the community. It is a good feeling. :)
I've also prepared chicken sandwich for hubby. First time! But I didn't prepare the chicken. Leftovers from Italianies last night ;p. Mixed it with a little mayo and black pepper - simple! and yummy too (I tried!)! Hope hubby will enjoy it.
While washing the dishes, a conversation I had with Penny this morning surfaced in the mind which made me laughed quietly to myself. It went like that...
Gerry: Eh, I tot you taking leave to spend a day with me?
Penny: Ya, I got 4 days leave left, but all frozen.
Gerry: Why like that?
Penny: Company say not enough people to work wor..
Gerry: Wah.. why your company like that one *laughing*
Penny: Ya lah.. so much work to do man.. and then office nobody some more..
Gerry: Ok lor..
Penny: I know, I know.. I promised you already... next week la k...
Gerry: Next week a bit difficult lor.. because Thea starts school already...
Penny: Aiya... sorry la.. tomorrow I got work to do, that's why cannot take leave.. going back to Malacca in the night some more..
Gerry: huh? going back to Malacca? no need to work on Friday meh?
Penny: Friday holiday mah...
Gerry: Ya meh? holiday meh?
Penny: Ya lah! New Year mah... aiya, but people who don't work don't know one lah..
We both burst into laughters...
And that's when I realised that tomorrow is New Year's Eve and Friday is New Year, and yes, also a holiday... :D
So I went back to my previous post in the beginning of the year to re-read my New Year resolutions. Sad to say, I've only fulfilled 2 out of 7 of them.. but you know what, I had this New Year Vision for 2009 which I think I did pretty well!!
New Year Vision for 2009
To learn how to entirely trust myself - I realised that the word 'entirely' is a BIG word!! Lols. But yes, I have made progess in trusting myself. I'd say that there had been instances where I've trusted myself more than I did before in previous years. Hooray!!
To honour and respect myself in all aspects - Yes, I've honoured and respected my needs a little bit more this year - daringly speak of my needs rather than keeping quiet and going with the flow of things with resistance within.
To love myself more and to accept myself in areas I have not done so - Yes, with the baby steps of finding the false ideas I have of myself and others; I've come to love myself a little more. The acceptance can be pretty tricky and difficult evident from my continuous judgements on myself. I know.. how could it be possible to not accept when I love, right? All I can say is that I am not so hard on myself anymore.. there is now more gentlenes towards myself. Tha'ts progress, right?
To forgive myself when I have allowed myself to be dishonest, a victim, or be in an unpleasant/uneasy feeling or situation - wow... this part is R-E-A-L-L-Y difficult. Actually, more correctly, the above 'Acceptance' bit would be a result of forgiveness. Though not many times I could forgive myself evident from the guilt I still carry on my shoulders, but I'd say that awareness of it has been helpful in my journey.
To do what I want to do when I want to; contrary to doing out of obligation and/or fear - Yes! Yes! Yes! I'd say that 50-60% of the time I'd be doing what I want to do! And that is HUGE progress to me! Because I'd do them with joy!! Be it outing with a friend(s), reading a book, lazing around, shopping, cooking... with company, alone, whatever!!! Tremendous joy and freedom!! No one to answer to except myself!!!
Maybe the 'vision' method is more effective than the 'resolution' or 'to-do' method.. Lols! Ah well, I believe I've grown in areas which matters most in my heart although I am also aware of my non-satisfaction too! I guess I must be greedy!! Lols.
Since it is still the Eve of the Eve, I guess I still have another day to think about what I'd create for the coming year.
I ask for inspiration, and then determination to follow suit... :)