She arrived in October 2006 and proved herself well. She earned my trust and I grew fond of her. She is the only person, other than hubby and my mom that I would leave my precious with. She showered her 110% attention on Thea, and there was no doubt that she put Thea above all other matters, including calling home. She was indeed an angel in some ways, a blessing to our family.
There was no need for a negotiation as she willingly promised that she would extend another year of service after her contract expires. With our doubts assured and our worries settled, I ventured once again into my career path. Work was tough, despite so many people who doubted the capacity of my maid, I trusted her with the gem of my life.
She told me that her brother was getting married. Because I appreciated her work so much, I offered for her to go back home to attend her brother's wedding. A wedding afterall, is only once in a lifetime; and because her birthday was also near the wedding date, I allowed her a 1 month holiday.
She left on April 2, 2008. Little did I know that that would be the last time I would ever see her again. The first week without her was tiring... alternating between sending Thea to my mom's and babysitting her on my own. Thankfully my parents in law came over to ensure we had good meals, and hubby was a helpful hand when he was around. By the end of the first week, I was so stressed out that we followed hubby to JB for the second week. There, his colleague's wife and twin daughters were there, not to forget their two maids! The twin daughters helped entertained Thea, and the maids made sure the house was clean. Food was an issue as we were eating out most of the time, but I told myself it is only another one more week and she would be back. By the time the third week came, I was already getting excited. I was really looking forward to her coming home. Hubby and I even agreed to increase her salary by RM100 once she renews her contract with us.
Alas, on the fateful April 26, 2008, we waited like stupid fools at LCCT only to find out that she neither checked in nor board the plane. My heart sunk. I was so ready to burst out in tears but because I had the little one with me, I had to keep cool. I was all alone. I made some phone calls and was really so so disappointed. How could she? How could she not turn up? How could she not even call or sms me to say that she has decided not to come back? It was really heart breaking.
So again, Thea and I were alone that night. Did I mention that the night before was also the first time that Thea and I were alone in the house? All these time, she was always around. But that night, with hubby going back to JB, was truly a lonely night. On Sunday, Siti came over. She is another blessing. She has made my house so squeaky clean that I nearly slipped! I love it! My house has never been this clean!
I never did receive a formal reply from her or her dad whether or not she is coming back to work. Only excuses or possible lies. Hubby and I are disheartened and we doubt that we want her back at this stage. Through her actions of not turning up at LCCT, it has caused so much inconvenience not only to hubby and I, but also to my dad and brothers. Now, my family is doubting my sincerity in the family business, and it has in a way jeopardize my career.
There is no doubt that Thea will always be above the rest. For that, I have no choice but to possibly put a hold in my career. Some people think that I am overprotective by not wanting to send her to a nursery or babysitter; some think that I am using Thea as an excuse not to do anything. But seriously, if anything were to happen to her; or if her development is disturbed, who should then be responsible? Some say put with this person or that person... how could they forget about the element of trust? How could I trust another person with my daughter just like that? Maybe other parents can because they have no choice, but I have a choice, don't I? I am not other people!! And it's not that my hubby can't afford it, or my hubby disagrees! In fact, hubby has told me many times to take care of Thea full time. His reason is that I am the best person who can bring Thea up, especially since he is already not around all the time.
But really, by putting my daughter first in my life for now, am I being selfish? With or without me, the Company will go on. But with or without me, it will make a difference to Thea, am I not right? Am I not right to be concern of her emotional development if I send her to a nursery at this age? Am I not right to be concern of what the babysitter may teach her if I put her with someone that I don't even know? Yes, I know that other parents are doing the same thing and it doesn't mean that they love their child any less, but this is my daughter is she not? And I am her mother am I not? Why do I have to do what others do? And why can't I do what I think and feel and know what is best for my child?
Actually, I can do what I want to do. But it's just that I am too considerate of my family's feelings. I know that they care and love me lots too... but there are just certain things that I can't sacrifice.
Sighs... all this because my trusted maid decided not to come back from her holiday! No wonder they all said that there is no need to treat them nice, because they will not reciprocate! Personally, I feel that surely something has gone wrong as she is not such an irresponsible person. But whatever that has been done, IS ALREADY DONE. So there is nothing I can do about it but to apply for a new maid. So until then, this memoir forms part of my journey as a "Majikan". For the record, I really enjoyed being her "Majikan". She was really a good maid.
Have a good life, Fitri. May you be well and happy wherever you are.
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