However, also from what I've learnt, I've come to understand that everyone's journey is defined by their own time; therefore only those that are relevant in certain knowledge that I've gained am I able to share what I've learnt.
It was last night, that a thought dawned on me; that I am not only a student of life, but also, in some ways, a teacher of life. Angeline once told me in one of our late night conversations that when I am healed, everyone around me will be healed. At that time, I brought up an awareness that struck me, that everything, in nearly every situation was always, always about me. Then, I'd feel so ashamed drawing that kind of attention, and questioned indefinitely, "Why me? What's wrong with me?" I remember when the Autopups were so crazy about playing with the Angels, the Angels always focused on me and told me things even when I don't ask. They always had messages for me! And when I bring people to see Master for their tzewei session, he would always focus his attention on me at the end of the session as if the reason why we were really there, was because of me. I couldn't understand it at all. It really made me quite uncomfortable.
But now I know, that all these situations/lessons/teachings were for me so I'd become the student of life. And when I learn and practice my knowledge, I then also become a teacher of life to the different people in my life.
Now, I know this might sound a little arrogant. But let me first start with being a student. I think I live one of the most colourful and fanciful life anyone had could ever have. Some may interpret it as drama, but now, I'd like to call them "lessons". Each one of them taught me something about life. When I didn't learn my lesson, the lesson would repeat itself again and again until I learnt them; and these lessons made sure that I learnt the right thing and that I learnt it well. And throughout the journey of these lessons, I am blessed with individuals who crossed my path to teach me a thing or two, whether implicitly or explicitly.
The obvious teachers of life are people like Christopher Moon, Master, Tuck Loon, Hari and books. They teach me certain things that a normal friend would not be able to share, although when I start understanding the lesson, and observing my environment, I'd notice that some of my friends already had those beautiful qualities in them that I never took notice. One of my wisest friend, is Gladys. Sometimes I just could not understand her reasoning and actions despite her efforts to explain it to me; I'd just accept it, but not learn from it. But now, I realize consciously that she was actually my teacher too; just that she came in a form of a friend rather than a spiritual teacher. Here, I am an obvious student of life. Penny is also one of my wisest friend-teacher. Although I don't see her often, but each time I have a problem; she departs valuable wisdom and knowledge to me that just hits straight to my heart. Beautiful, isn't it?
So then, I would then be blessed with friends who have problems. They would come to me, share their discomfort, feelings and problems with me. For whatever that is obvious to me that I am able to share, I then become the teacher of life. They gain my knowledge and my insight, digest it and try to live their life better since they felt better talking to me. At some point that when I shared with these friends, young or old; I noticed a kind of arrogance in me, rather than compassion; that they did not see or understand what I knew about life. It irritated me to a certain extent because I was repeating myself like a broken recorder from one friend to another. To me, the answer was so obvious that would probe me to question silently at the back of my head, "why can't you see it?" Just to clarify, I am talking about friends who had embarked in their spiritual journey way much earlier than me. I couldn't understand why they couldn't see the answers when I could! I got worried because I did not want to indulge myself in arrogance. So I shared my story with Tuck Loon where he shared his wisdom with me, that my irritation was due to my judgement on those friends. This was really something that I needed to be mindful of. So that brings me back to being a student of life.
And then there are another set of friends who also have problems. I again become the teacher of life to these friends when I depart my insights and knowledge to them. This set of friends are special because they are the ones whom I never had to seek any opinion from any of my spiritual teachers. The lessons just comes to me as I share! I was having supper with my friends from Clove&Clive earlier when I suddenly realized whatever problems these friends had that I saw the answers to, were also teaching me something that related to my life which I also needed to learn and practice. Having the knowledge and the wisdom is simply having answers to questions. But by cultivating and putting into practice that same new knowledge and wisdom that arose from my mind was the new lesson that I needed to learn. This was without guidance from any of my mortal spiritual teachers, but from my very own friends who had problems! See how very soon I became the student of life again by being their teacher of life?
These friends will not realize that as I was a teacher to them, they were also, in their own ways, my teacher. Because it was their problems who has taught me something new, and my sharing of past knowledge and wisdom that uplifted them. It was a fair "trade" and a full cycle. Amazing, isn't it?
Things that I have learnt this past week from friends not from spiritual background: -
1) When there are too many bad memories in a relationship between two people; focus on the few good and happy memories to remember the true loving soul of one another. Angry and fearful words or actions arises from the ego are the causes of bad memories; but the good memories are formed by LOVE. If a relationship is to prevail, much effort is needed and that is to let LOVE flow and not let the ego and the mind limit it.
I learnt this lesson from Terri and Ramesh. Thank you, my teachers of life.
2) By neglecting our responsibilities is also an act of betraying our true self. My mom always told me not to go too spiritual because I still have responsibilities. At that time, I didn't really quite understand what she meant. All I knew was, it was important not to neglect our own spiritual journey. I questioned myself why I did not want to go to Christopher Moon's 10-day Leadership Course in Penang late this month when I knew that it would help me tremendously in my spiritual journey. Despite the course being too expensive (which really isn't the reason why I am not going), I wanted to spend time with my family - my husband and my daughter. Hubby will be on leave and I feel that it is important for the three of us to spend time together. I feel that I have done quite sufficiently for my spiritual growth this year. I've attended the Christopher Moon Course in September, Master's Chakra Course in November, the Tuesdays sitting at Clove&Clive (although not every Tuesday) and am involved in the Body, Mind and Spirit Event held this coming weekend for Clove&Clive. While my spiritual growth and journey is important, it is also vital for me too to nurture my family life. They are also part of my journey.
I learnt this lesson from my mom, Angeline and Yoke Fong. Thank you, my teachers of life.
I told Angeline today that she is not my spiritual friend, nor my spiritual partner (last night we had a chat on the phone and agreed that we were spiritual partners to help each other). When I meditated today and thanked my spiritual teachers and guides, her face came to mind. I immediately knew that she was one of my teachers too. When I told her, she looked at me, blur; insisting that she had nothing to teach me. I explained to her that when she openly shares her worries and problems with me, I am; at that very moment; being taught by her and am her student of life.
As many people know, I don't shy away from friends' or anyone's problems or sadness. By saying this, I am also not deliberately inviting people to share or tell me their problems. I believe in fate and timing. If it is meant for me to know; to help & to learnt; then the Universe will by itself arrange the opportunity for me.
My all-along-with-me teachers of life whom I had failed to acknowledge but would like to now express my deepest gratitude to: - my parents, my siblings, my husband, my child and my friends.
To my teachers of life, thank you for imparting your valuable knowledge, wisdom and love to me. To my students of life, thank you for sharing your problems with me and allowing me to be your student of life. :)
Blessed be.
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