Blast from MY Past: 7 January 2008

The Passing of a Dear Aunty

It was saddening news when my brother called to inform that fateful morning, 5th January 2008 that my aunty in Xiamen was not doing well. He had instructed me to book air tickets for all of us including Thea to Xiamen on the next available flight in hope to see her for the last time. The tickets were booked but we wanted to wait for dad's confirmation if we needed to go so we did not have the tickets issued. Later in the evening, my brother called again, informing that she passed on, and that all of us are to all go to Xiamen for the funeral. At that moment, the first thought that crossed my mind was dad - how was he and if he got to see my aunty. He had left for a morning flight to Xiamen to visit her, but she passed away merely an hour that he touched down. Anyway, I made the necessary arrangements through Mike who owns a travel agency (the travel agent I booked with earlier was closed). All else done, I decided to call dad. He sounded calm. He sounded as if he had accepted the fact.

After I've put down the phone. The next thought was... my aunt. She was a very special aunt. She didn't see me grow up and didn't really play a big role in my life; but she played a very big role in dad's life. When dad was going through tough times, she was somehow always there to help and support dad. Dad respected her a lot. She was one person that dad would not light a ciggerate in front of. Before she comes to visit, he would instruct the maid and us to ensure that the house is clean and dust free as my aunt was a very health conscious person. Dad really loved and adored her.

My encounters with her are few. I visited her once and stayed with her for a while during school holidays. I remember we used to chat in her room after dinners and she would tell me about how to be a lady, how to flirt a little and what clothes to wear... If I remember correctly, she even brought me shopping! It was those talks that teenage girls enjoyed... and then, two other significant events we were together was my wedding and her visit to us when Thea was just born. She came all the way just to see her first grand-niece. That time when she visited was year 2006. That was the last time I saw her.

Dad actually arranged for all of us to go down to Singapore to visit her on her birthday last year. Dad felt that it was an ocassion to celebrate because she suffered and survived a cancer battle earlier that year. However, due to my own selfishness of not wanting to disrupt Thea's timetable and meal times, I did not follow them. I did call her though, and she was so lively. We really had a good chat, and she told me she likes flowers in that conversation before we hung up. I made a mental note that I will arrange to send her flowers soon, and will do so every year on her birthday. Alas, I was so caught up in my own world that I forgot about the flowers; and now, I will never have a chance to send her flowers anymore.

I honestly feel bad, and somewhat guilty. Although it is too late now, I told myself no matter what, I have to attend the funeral. And then, Thea has to fall sick... Last night, while we were all sleeping, I suddenly was struck with stomach ache and had to rush to the toilet. I guess when she found out that I was not within her reach, she started howling! Hubby tried to pacify her but it didn't work so he had to bring her to me while I was... erm... doing my business. Yup, as disgusting as it sounds, I held her while doing my business. My heart ached as she held on tightly to me. I wondered at that moment how are we to survive without each other for the next two days when I am in Xiamen? After I was done, I carried her and walked to my handphone. I texted Mike to to cancel my ticket as I decided at that point in time I will not be going to Xiamen. I was so determined.

This morning, she woke up with a smile when she saw that I was beside her. Her fever had gone down but not entirely. I then called dad to tell him that I might not go to Xiamen because Thea was sick. He was really understanding, and told me that if Thea needs me, I should just stay to take care of her. And then, I felt guilty again. Thea was indeed getting better, but my aunty has passed on; and I know somehow, my dad would love for me to be there with him. It is, afterall, the final journey for my aunt. So I decided to give myself time. I called Mike again to give me a cut off time to decide. 12pm. Ok, cool... so I took half a day, calling hubby a few times in between to check on Thea's progress (I was at work). By 12:10pm, Thea was napping and hubby assured that Thea's fever was getting better. With some relief, and also a heavy heart, I confimed the ticket.

I know for sure I will miss hubby and Thea very much. Plus the fact, that I might not see hubby when I come back on Thursday as he will be leaving for JB before I arrive. Sigh... so many things happening. I still remember when Mike came over to hand me the tickets, I suddenly felt very down because in less than 24 hours, I will be leaving my babies behind...

Lord Buddha and Blessed Devas and Angels, please help me take care of hubby, love-love and my household while I am away. Please protect them and may they always be free from harm, danger and evil... and also, always be free from physical and mental harm. May they, most importantly, always be well and happy; even when I am away. Sadhu, sadhu, sadhu...