My life has definitely turned around since the moving in of our new home and the setting up of Dreaming Daisies. It was really tough, with no help at all to do nearly everything on my own and to leave Thea with mom, or with hubby (when he is home, that is), or... sometimes, with just the maid. I hate it.. and very many times, I get very upset and angry with that person, who brought me into Dreaming Daisies, and then now left me all alone to manage this just because she thinks she can't get along with me, or the staff. I honestly think it is her personal problem.. and I dont know what it is. I've tried so hard to try to communicate with her and try to reach out to her, but she is just very negative when it comes to the business. Now, she even says that she wants to redraw herself and I really do feel very very cheated and betrayed. I really do feel that she has not given her best to try to resolve whatever issues she thinks we have rationally. Everything, according to her, is how she feels, and is based on her feelings which I feel can be quite irrational. Anyway, she has opted out. In a way, I am upset.. but on a personal level, we're ok.. because she is someone who is very important to someone that I love very much, and I have come to care about her quite a lot. It's just a pity that I am stuck in such a situation because of her. It is obvious that it is too late for me to back out as I've dumped in too much money and time, but I am non-stop screening and seeking for a reliable working partner to build this with me.
I've been really just too busy... I remember when I got home on valentine's eve at 1:30am (actually valentine's day already), I got into the room, and went to see my little precious... she was there asleep, so peacefully... and my heart soured and I became teary. I missed her so so much... As I took my shower, tired... I kept thinking to myself that this is really not what I want... Dont get me wrong, I am enjoying Dreaming Daisies and its potentials, but just not doing this alone. I never got into this intending to do all these alone.. you know, to run everything by myself. I still want time for Thea, my little precious angel...
I actually have so much to say... so much in my mind... but they are all just too clustered. Suddenly, I feel that my life has changed. Some of my friends whom I thought were my angels... they are actually not... but thankfully, God has always been kind to me... while he's taken some of my friends who meant a lot to me before, he also sent me some old friends from the past, whom I lost touch with; and some new friends who really are genuinely nice people...
And then again - my little precious, my darling hubby, my understanding mommi, my generous daddi and my two genuine brothers are always around me... whether beside me, behind me, or wherever... they have never failed me in any way. I love them dearly...
This CNY, i go everywhere with Thea... I hold her as much as i can, I cuddle and kiss her as much as I can... and I know that she is very happy. I've never seen her smile so much.. and laugh so much.. Hubby says, she is really happy that I am around now. I hope it is true, and I hope she will stay a happy child.
I know that I am one of the vital reason to make her a happy child... I am really trying to find my way... God help me.
No comments:
Post a Comment