Honestly, this write up is long overdue. Before this, I'd probably a few things in mind to blog already, but due to time constraint and probably the non-urgency of it (simply because the memories are heavily embedded in my heart already !), I guess I left it till now... and that also, I am a little lazy to repeat my previous thoughts... tsk! tsk! shame on me!
Well, let's start of with one week before Mother's Day. We went to dinner at the Club with dad. When we arrived and while waiting for the maid to clean the baby chair with baby wipes (a normal routine from day one), Thea accidently spilled hot tea on her left hand while she grabbed the chinese tea cup. She started wailing loudly, and pretty badly... I held her close to me, trying to comfort her and soothe her, and she held on to me as I try to hold her "burnt" hand. She didnt stop crying.. and to my amazement, as soon as my maid walked up to us to see if she was ok, she turned to hug the maid !! I was shocked, and not giving up, i put out my arms again, and she came to me, which made me feel a little better and later when she turned her head and saw the maid again, she reached out to her again!! At that moment, it was clear to me that she seeked comfort and security in the maid, and not me . I was really hurt... and while the maid carried her and walked her around the restaurant to distract her, I just followed them, as if I was the maid... Of course, I made no attempt to take her back from the maid at that point in time because she was in pain and she needed comfort, and if it had to hurt me so that she could have comfort and security, be it with the maid at that moment, I allowed it because my priority was for her to feel better after such trauma.
The next few days were worst off for me.. I hardly saw her or spend time with her because I was busy with Mother's Day. Literally did not see her awake for 48 hours and I had to just keep reminding myself to be strong. And so, Mother's Day came. I got up early to do some deliveries to Klang (drivers charged a bom for this place!) and was thinking to myself during the drive how lucky these mothers were, that their children went the extra mile to say "Thank You". I wondered if Thea would do that for me in future. I mean, I know it would be difficult for her to send me flowers since I own a florist, but it would really be nice, to receive some flowers from my daughter in future.
So on my way home from the last delivery, one of my partner called and said she would like to bring her sister (whom i also know very well) to my house to see Thea. I was not too keen because my dad was waiting for me to go over to his house but after a few persuasion, I agreed to meet her at home. So when i got home.. the first thing I did, was to greet my little princess and to carry her. They were all seated around the dining table, and as I approached the dining table, I noticed a beautifully arranged flower basket with a few of Crabtree & Evelyn products. There was a message card, and as I read on closer.. OMG!! It was for me!! And it was from Jason and Thea!! And it said that I am the BEST mommy in the world!! I broke down in tears... it was the most touching moment... I repeated kissed Thea (since i was carrying her anyway) and went to hug Jason (with Thea in my hands), I think it was the most beautiful moment for me (although I had guests watching us.. hehehe). I was just too overwhelmed. I just can't believed that it was Mother's Day for me too (eventhough it is my 2nd year celebrating it already ) Thank you, my darling hubby and my little love-love... and thank you, partner, for making my Mother's Day as beautiful as those mothers who had flowers delivered to them by us.
So the following week after Mother's Day was also a busy week for me as we had to prepare for a wedding deco all the way up to Penang. Believe me, if that week Thea didnt recognise me as her mom, i would understand why! I was literally like a mad woman trying to arrange this and that, coupled with orders from people here and there.. business was good... except that I was missing Thea. So the florist coincidently applied for 5-days leave after the Penang wedding. I allowed her to go with certain conditions, and I myself took leave. It was awesome.. So far, although I still have to be out for some meetings, or to go into the office for some orders, I come back early. And today, the most wonderful thing happened... I left for office for some urgent orders, and came back only at about 3:30pm. When she saw me, she walked towards me, gave me a hug and wanted me to carry her! I was pleasantly surprised! and then the whole time, if she was not walking around by her own, she wants to chase me around the dining table.. and each time she catches me, I tell you.. her laughters... it melts my heart...
Then dinner time came. I cooked early so that we could have dinner with her on the table together. After dinner, she played and played before proceeding for a warm bath. When it was time to go to sleep, she refused to follow the maid! Secretly, I was very happy as she kept clinging to me and wanted me to carry her... and you know what, she even wanted me to feed her milk (normally the maid does it so to put her sleep)... and she fell asleep in my arms (before she even brushed her teeth !) I laid her on her mattress and smiled proudly to myself, satisfied that I finally had a chance to play my role .
Now I am in the room with her already. Normally I come into the room only at about midnight, but tonight, or rather, from tonight onwards, I will come up earlier to bed with her and wake up earlier with her. This is a promise.
I am sorry, my little Princess, please forgive me for not being able to spend as much time as I wish with you. Please know that Mommi loves you very very much and spends every moment away from you thinking about you and missing you.
Hubby, you too...
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