Today was a very unexpected day. What I expected to be a beautiful, joyful and yet peaceful Christmas day turned out to be not so joyful or peaceful. Well, at least for the first half of the day. First of all, I didn't go back to sleep after blogging my last entry and ended up surfing the net and watching reruns on the TV. It was pathetic. But I was grateful learning some new and interesting stuffs on the internet about Dolphin Children. I simply took a 10-20 minutes cat nap and woke up at about 10:55am to get ready for lunch with my mom and brothers at Dome, Subang Parade. Believe it or not, hubby and Thea was still not awake by then!
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Before we went out, hubby was awfully pissed with Doby. In fact, he was already pissed with her since last night after we came back from our Christmas celebration because he found out that she dug the garden! After giving her a good piece of his mind, yet she repeated the digging this morning. Hubby got so angry that he told me he wanted to give Doby away. I was very sad and disturbed by this. I love Doby. Yes, she may have dug the garden but she definitely did not deserve to be sent away just because of this. To me, she is my protector. She protects my family and I, my home and because of that, she is one of the protectors of my sanity. However, I did not argue with hubby about it and just told him that I will respect his decision whatever that was.
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We left for Subang Parade. When we were approaching the parking lot, I received an unpleasant phonecall from someone very dear to me. He was shouting and screaming at me on the phone over something that I did which resulted in some other unpleasant matter arising. I won't go into details on this one because ultimately, although I do take responsibility for my actions (which to me, is still irrelevant to the unpleasant happening), it really had nothing to do with me. We were cut off because we were already in the car park and network was bad. I did not bother calling him back because I was very upset by then and didn't want to aggravate matters. I just left it at it is..
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After we all got down from the car after locating a car park, Thea saw my mom and started running to my mom excitedly, not being aware of cars! When I heard my hubby shouting Thea's name, I started shouting at him to ask him to go after her out of sudden reaction. Fortunately, Thea was safe because she turned back to hubby when she heard hubby calling her. But because I didn't see her, I panicked and kept shouting at hubby. When I finally saw Thea safe, hubby turned and asked me, "why did you scream at me?" I assured him that I wasn't screaming at him and I raised my voice out of reaction. To me, he was clearly over reacting; so we got into an argument which resulted in me feeling even more upset after the phonecall.
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I could not joined them at Dome after that. I just stood by the corridor and called Angeline. Naturally, she talked some sense into me. She just never fails to calm me down or to make me see things beyond what is actually happening; thus always reminding me not to get involved in the drama. We talked for a while.. and after that, I felt a tap on my shower. It was hubby. I put down the phone, turned to him and burst into tears.. apologising to him that I really didn't mean to shout or scream at him.. and that it was just a reflex reaction... he nodded and held me.. and that really made me feel better. He initially thought that I was taking out on him after the phonecall which I assured him that I wasn't. I also took the opportunity to tell him about how I felt about Doby. He assured that he will not give Doby away... :) Sweet huh?
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Anyway, we headed back to Dome for lunch. It was an ok lunch. Lunch with mom and Chow is always delightful.
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On my way home from Subang Parade, I had many realisations about the unpleasant phonecall vis-a-vis the unpleasant event which apparently I created. I realised that I had no part to play in it and it was actually nobody's fault. It was just someone not being able to let go of certain things and letting it out on somebody else. That person was not angry with the other person that he let out on; he was actually angry with himself for not being able to let go but allowed his ego to protect him by pushing the blame onto somebody else which ended up in making everybody feel like victims. The truth is, nobody is a victim unless they themselves allow themselves to be. If only this person is able to resolve whatever that was in him and see the truth as it is then no unpleasantness would not have had the chance to even surface! It was really strange that I could see it, detach myself and turnaround from it pretty quickly after that.
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While Thea took a nap, hubby and I talked a little before I headed for reflexology. One of my favourite activities that gave me time to myself (because hubby doesn't like reflexology! ;p). My mind was just still and I realised I did not feel upset anymore. I was relaxed and enjoyed the rest of the evening, perfectly as it is...
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