Change.
I had an unpleasant conversation with someone that I love very much and she slammed down the phone on me. In the midst of the conversation, the past was slotted in between and I then realised that she never really got over it. She said a few things that offended me, and I guess I made her feel that my expectations of her were high. I told her too, that I was disappointed.
After the conversation, I was very angry and hurt. I believe she must be too. I don't know why.. but a lot of things came to me... I then realised why some people who were related to her behaved in certain ways.. and then hubby also said something like that.. and as I recollected back a lot of incidences, I realise that that these people could be right.. Actually, I saw it too, but I wanted to be in denial because I loved her so much...
She said over the phone that day that she has her own life and that she needed to protect herself.. she said that I had prioritised someone else above her... I denied it because it was never true. I had all the while been fair, if not give her top priority, because I understand the situation. But I had to admit it, she has really been, in a way pretty calculative with me. I mean, I am not just anybody... I am someone special to her and vice versa. Things between us should not change regardless of circumstances. Have I not proven myself?
You know... I am beginning to think that she is a little selfish.. but I really dont want to think that way... I hope she answers my messsages soon, or call me... I really want her to still be part of our lives...
I hope this is just a small matter that will pass soon and bring us closer in time to come. I hope to understand where she is coming from and for her to realise my sincerity towards her. She is a very important person in my life who has loved, helped, nurtured and cared for me unconditionally because I was her life once upon a time... and regardless of how this turns out to be, I will continue to love her unconditionally and still give her my best to her with my capability. Afterall, there must be a strong reason why fate has brought us together in this life and allowed us to be so close to each other...
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