I have been having problems with the temp maid. I think my expectations of a maid is really too high. On some days when it starts off ok, she screws up along the way and it always ends up with me screaming at the top of my lungs!
Just today, she pissed me off again; and today I felt a sharp pain on the left side of my chest which I presume is my heart. It hurt so badly, as if a knife just stabbed me right through it and for a while, I was aware that if I didn't cool down, I might result in a heart attack! No kidding! So I quickly tried my level best to calm down and called Hubby. Yup, he was worried alright... told me to see a doctor and all that.. I was sure that if the pain didn't go away by evening, I'd really need to see a doctor. So I told hubby that I will wait till evening before I head to the clinic to be prescribed more medication. As if the existing medication that I take is not bad enough!! I normally just felt tightness in my chests, but this time, it was different... but anyway, I didn't see the doc because by 8pm, I have calmed down after staying in the garden for a while to take in fresh air. It rained.. the weather and the air was nice and calming.
Anyway, I told hubby since a few days ago that she is really stressing me up. Yes, I know, I know.. she is actually a good maid. She is darn good at cleaning and she has a good attitude in the sense that every time we tell her when she does something wrong, she doesn't show face or answer back; but I need someone more than that! If Fitri was around, I tell you, this temp maid would be a God Bless! But also because Fitri has set such a high standard of being such a "smart" maid (although not as clean as this temp maid), I guess it is difficult for me to deal with a "not-so-smart" maid.
For example, my dad brought some yellow noodles and lou shu fun on Sunday and told me that I need to cook it within 3 days. As I do plan what to cook every day, I decided to cook the yellow noodles on Tuesday, and the lou shu fun on Wednesday. Because Thea doesn't really like lou shu fun, I thought I could cook some other simple meals for her while the adults ate lou shu fun on Wednesday. So I told her on Monday night, to wash the yellow noodles on Tuesday morning so that I could cook it when I come back from Thea's playgroup. And guess what I saw? Both the yellow noodles and the lou shu fun washed!!! My blood boiled!! I called out for her and questioned her about it. Well, I guess I should praise her for her honesty because she admitted that she thought she should wash the lou shu fun too!! ARGHHHH.... I was sooooo pissed off!! Because that would mean I would have no choice but to cook the lou shu fun for lunch or dinner!!!! I screamed and screamed until I think the neighbors could hear me. I so felt like slapping her on the face!! Anyway, I cooked the lou shu fun for dinner and Thea took a long time to finish her dinner. The worst part was, I was so angry that I could not sleep that night. I felt that my chest was tight and that my body was so "hot". I just found it so difficult to let go!
Another example. Before we slept last night, I told her to take out this particular raw pork from the freezer the following morning. I even brought her to the freezer, took out the pork, showed it to her before I placed it back and pointed to her where I placed it. Guess what I found out this afternoon? and my bad for not checking on her in the morning because Thea and I were in class. She took out the roast pork which I had meant to keep for Jason when he comes back on Friday! I was just so so mad at her!! I literally went berserk!! Again, I had no choice but to cook the roast pork before Jason comes back and thank God, it was in a way still early to defrost the pork for dinner! I scolded her so badly that for the first time in my whole entire life, I verbally abused someone! I called her all the mean things I could think of... stupid, lazy, no brains... I felt so so ugly. Really bad bad karma for me..
But honestly, I can't help it... I think I am beginning to dislike her more and more. In fact, I suggested to hubby that we should just send her back to the agent a few weeks ago, but he refused because he wanted someone to help me around the house. Well, the help is taking a toll on my mental and physical wellness. I not only become so mentally stressed that I am unable to control my emotions, I think my medical condition might have just gotten worst!
After I calmed down, I spoke to her - that since someone already wants her (someone paid a booking fee to the agent so she will be someone's permanent housemaid after this period with me), I asked her if she wanted to go back to the agent or stay and work with me for another 2 weeks (that's when I am going on a holiday and expect my new maid to arrive when I am back). Without hesitation, she said she wanted to work another 2 weeks for me. I was quite disappointed with her answer, but asked her again, if she can still stand working with me. She just nodded. I don't know why. She had a choice. But I guess it could be for the money, or simply she just wanted to learn more.
I don't feel sorry or pity for her although I do wish her well. Well, I used to initially, until she began to pissed me off so often lately. After this experience today (the heart pain and ugly feeling), I've decided that I will just walk away from her whenever I am angry, or just rectify whatever that she does wrong. If I feel like telling her to teach her further, then I will. Otherwise, communication will be minimal. I think it will be better for both me and her. I just hope that she doesn't come up with some stupid thing to piss me off again.
In a way, it seems so silly to get so worked up over a maid. And the best part is, she is not even under performing under normal standards. She is just... well, a maid from a faraway village who has come all the way here to make a living. And here I am, getting all troubled by her. I really hope the working relationship gets better before she leaves. I really don't want us to part in hatred or anger. I hope that after all the shit she gets from me, she does pick up a thing or two which will impress her next majikan.
And, I hope that my new maid will be at least as good as Fitri, if not better... God help me..
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