A chinese doctor told me once, that I actually have a problem with my heart. Apparently, the valve that pumps blood into the heart doesn't close completely and by having low blood count definitely does not make things better. He asked if I ever felt short of breath, faintish and etc etc... I told him, no... and seriously, no... well, except maybe for some times when I am over tired or exhausted, or not feeling well... I dont know if they are related.
The very funny thing was - I never knew or felt that I had such problems. Although I wont deny the possibilities of me having heart attacks or heart problems - now possibly hole in the heart, I never really thought that I was sick.. and wondered how my heart beat is actually like.
So, that night, my little girl was in one of those moods... just wanted me, me and me. So I held her in my arms on her queen-size bed (yup! she sleeps on one ALL by herself!!) and her head was very naturally placed on the left side of chest, where my heart was. And then I began thinking, if she felt at ease or comfort because she heard my heartbeat. She is, afterall, the only one being who has heard my heartbeat since she was created. I doubt hubby knows how it sounds like too. Anyway, I got thinking... and wondered what she thought of my heartbeat, what did it sound like, if it was like a clock - ticking and tocking, if it was that monotonous tum-tum tum-tum that helped her sleep better. I really didnt know. Of course, that kind of thoughts sent a smile to my face, because no matter how tired I was, with her clinging on to me for comfort, it does makes me feel complete.
Tomorrow she is turning 1. She is responding so well to a lot of things surrounding her. Dad is trying to make her walk, but hubby and I are in no hurry. We dont want to push her and know that she will come around it at her own time. She is our daughter, I know she won't let us down.
My darling lovey dovey love-love, Happy Birthday to you... May you always and forever be surrounded by people who will love, guide and protect you... May you always be free from any forms of sufferings... May you grow up to be a good person... and most importantly, May you always, always be well and happy... Thank you, my little love-love, for bringing the best out of me (the other person who could do that was actually your daddi! hehehe); Thank you, for bringing so much joy and happinesses to me each time I think of you, look at you and hold you; Thank you, my little one, for giving me another reason to always make myself a better person for you to look up to and to love... I love you so so much... You are my life...
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